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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband's cousin has called their son the same name as our son.

368 replies

shoulde · 20/12/2024 19:38

Bit annoying considering they also share the same surname!

I know no one owns a name, but it's pretty annoying.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Coffeemmmmcoffee · 20/12/2024 20:03

StormingNorman · 20/12/2024 19:40

On MN nobody owns a name. In the real world it’s fucking weird and annoying that they didn’t choose a different name.

This

sunshineandshowers40 · 20/12/2024 20:03

I think it is a little odd but how often do you see them, is it a top 20 name or a family name? It used to be quite common that cousins would have the same name.

IncessantNameChanger · 20/12/2024 20:03

Yes it's weird but we had exactly the same situation. Babies born weeks apart too. I have no idea why. Just presume they both loved the name to much to back down.

Cyclingmummy1 · 20/12/2024 20:03

Yes. Two of my cousins have given their sons the same name. One lives on the other side of the world.

arcticpandas · 20/12/2024 20:02

It IS weird. Even if I had a name in mind, if a family member with the same surname decided to name their son Tom Jones I would have chosen another name for sure. For those arguing that nobody owns a name, sure nobody's saying that somebody owns a name. Just that it's fucking weird to choose the same name as another family member when you also share last names. YANBU

IsChristmasOverYetPlease · 20/12/2024 20:02

We have family names. I’ve got my grandfathers middle name and my great granny’s first name. My cousin have my mothers name as their middle name and this is all before we get started on our Saints names.

In my family, it’s how we honour you.

suchafunnybear · 20/12/2024 20:02

They've probably got reasons for giving their son that name and don't think that him having a second cousin of the same name is a big deal.

Could be the name of a grandparent, best friend, favourite fictional character, favourite singer etc. Or maybe it's just a name they've both always really liked.

It doesn't take anything away from you or your son that another child has the same name.

You gave your son the name you wanted to. They've given their son the name they wanted to.

NeedSomeComfy · 20/12/2024 20:02

I know a weirder story than this... Two brothers with the SAME NAME, and the SAME BIRTHDAY, born 20 years apart! (actually half brothers). The name was also the Dad's name. 😂

TheYearOfSmallThings · 20/12/2024 20:01

YABU. I have the same name as a cousin, and my brothers both have names in common with cousins, and none of us mind in the least. Why would we?

Melodyfair · 20/12/2024 20:00

I have a lot of cousins, we were all born in the 70s and 80s and there are a lot of repeats among our names, Darren, Gary, Dean, yep we are a council estate family, our names were the Jaydens and Ellie-maes of our generation. Just get over it, shorten one of the names or number the kids or whatever, they probably won’t even meet that much in the future, it will be fine, you will face harder parts of parenting than this, this is an easy one, chill!

Sleepysleepycoffeecoffee · 20/12/2024 20:00

shoulde · 20/12/2024 19:46

They're first cousins once removed

I would say they’re third cousins and your DH’s cousin is your child’s second cousin. Sounds even less of an issue put like that too

AppleDumplings · 20/12/2024 20:00

shoulde · 20/12/2024 19:43

That's weird

More funny than weird. Let's call me JJ. My brother said he couldn't imagine a world without JJ in it (as I was unable to have children and was getting married), so he named his firstborn JJ in my honour. My nephew JJ then had a son and also named him after himself, like JJ Jnr. So that's 3 of us on my side. FIL happens to be called JJ. His firstborn is also called JJ, and he called his son JJ. Then there is a cousin on my DH side called JJ. And a sodding labrador 😂😂

ChristmasinBrighton · 20/12/2024 19:59

I really couldn’t get remotely excited about this.

NeedSomeComfy · 20/12/2024 19:59

Muthaofcats · 20/12/2024 19:56

I doubt it’s imitation. They perhaps always liked the name and weren’t going to let a distant relative get in the way.

Perhaps, but still a compliment that you picked a name that someone else liked enough to use too!

Dodgydodgydodgy · 20/12/2024 19:59

The horse has bolted. Nothing to be done.

Butchyrestingface · 20/12/2024 19:58

shoulde · 20/12/2024 19:54

No one has our surname. It's not at all common

My surname isn’t common either but I’d draw the line at saying “no-one” has it.

How can you possibly know that? Did someone invent it 30 years ago and the rest of you all changed your names by deed poll?

That WOULD be an interesting thread.

Pottedpalm · 20/12/2024 19:58

YABVU
Total non issue

WhereIsMyLight · 20/12/2024 19:58

shoulde · 20/12/2024 19:41

There are infinite names available, I think that's what's so annoying.

Wouldn't care as much if they didn't also share the same surname!

They're only 3 years apart in age too.

In theory, there are infinite names available but in reality there’s definitely a theme to what you both like, someone liking Arthur isn’t likely to also be liking Braydon or Jaxon. If you’re both English with a long line of English in your family, then you’re unlikely to look for a Welsh/Scottish/Irish/overly American etc name. Then you have names you don’t like because of previous associations, like a knobhead boss or that creepy guy at university. Then you have the have the names that don’t work with your surname, no matter how much you love them.

Most people are left with a handful of names, at most, that they like. We had 3 names that we liked for boys and all of them were either friends sons or already family names. We discounted family names not because it’s weird but because we didn’t want to look like we were favouring that family member. So down to two.

They love the same name as you. They clearly have great taste, take it as a compliment and move on with your life.

Sleepysleepycoffeecoffee · 20/12/2024 19:57

shoulde · 20/12/2024 19:38

Bit annoying considering they also share the same surname!

I know no one owns a name, but it's pretty annoying.

Aibu?

YABU. If it was your sibling it would be weird as too close a relation, but not your cousin.
My cousin told me a couple of years ago that I’d ’taken’ the name he wanted for his son (said jokingly) and so he’d have to choose another. I really didn’t understand this and made it very clear he should use the name he wanted, it didn’t matter if both our sons had the same name. We don’t see each other or speak often at all and the older we get the further we drift apart (naturally I think), so it would never be an issue.

Muthaofcats · 20/12/2024 19:56

NeedSomeComfy · 20/12/2024 19:54

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
(yabu).

I doubt it’s imitation. They perhaps always liked the name and weren’t going to let a distant relative get in the way.

TheForestCalls · 20/12/2024 19:56

Do you see them much? First cousin once removed isn't that close a tie, so maybe they didn't think they'd be in the same place very often? It could be a name they've loved for years. It's a bit awkward if they're together a lot but, otherwise, I wouldn't worry.

Roryno · 20/12/2024 19:56

Do you all see each other often? Will they be at the same school? Similar ages?

Muthaofcats · 20/12/2024 19:54

Sorry but this is a weird preoccupation,
why do you care ? Change your child’s name if it bothers you.
Lots of families have many people with the same name in their family tree. It’s hardly like you’re close if it’s husbands cousins child?
I’d love to have so little going on in my world that this bothered me.

TaggieO · 20/12/2024 19:54

It wildly depends on the name. If it’s Horatio Ogilvy-Smitherington or something similarly distinctive and that wasn’t the name of an ancestor or anything then it’s a bit odd.

if it’s Jack Smith, not so much!

For all you know though, they could have had their dream name picked out before you and your DH even had your DS.

LifeExperience · 20/12/2024 19:54

Nobody owns a name. YABU.