Husband's cousin has called their son the same name as our son.

A similar dynamic in my family as well; we're all named after other people and though it can get confusing at times, it's not a big deal or weird. I could see it being weird though, if the husband and his cousin are very close and live close to one another, so the children would potentially be in school and activities together. Especially if it's an unusual name and not a family name. Even then, people they both know would be unlikely to think much of it after just a little time.

I have two cousins and an Uncle called John although the cousins have different surnames. In all my life I've never heard anyone even query this.

No.

my SIL did a similar thing. Called her little girl a similar name to our son.

think Paul/pauline!! But obviously not that! Very annoying!!

Either my family is odd or it is not unusual in Ireland. In my family they don't use senior and junior but Big... or Wee..., the funniest (being childish) is Big Willie and Wee Willie.

I must confess I was a bit taken aback when by husband's brother announced they were planning to use the same name as our DD if they had a girl. They would have had the same forename and surname and the 2 families see each other fairly often so it did seem weird. I didn't say anything though as, as PPs have said, there's nothing you can do about it as you don't own the name. I wasn't thrilled, but wouldn't have wanted a family falling out over it especially as DH is closer to that brother than his other siblings. As it happens, they had a boy anyway so it wasn't an issue, but they did choose a masculine version of the name another cousin has (Samuel/Samantha type thing) but there's a big age difference, a different surname and the families live in different countries so not quite as much of an issue.
Second cousins I don't think would bother me though, but it would depend on how close you are I guess. My children barely know any of their second cousins and very rarely see them, but if you live near each other and they're likely to socialise a lot or go to the same school I agree it might cause a bit of confusion.
I think my view would also depend a bit on whether the name has a connection to the family if that makes sense? Like there has been at least one William, often more, in every generation of my family for centuries. If it was a fairly common one and both kids were being named after an ancestor so they were both going to be Joseph Smith like many Smiths before them I'd "get it" a bit more than if there were two Ptolemy Pumpernickles and there'd never been a Ptolemy in the family before and not likely to be many or any others in the country!
Ultimately there's nothing much you can do though so probably best to let it go over your head.

Is it a family name, like the name of a common grandparent?

They picked the name they love for their child... you are your kid don't even factor into that one ounce. You might as well be randomers.

Do you honestly expect them to forgo the name they love because a DISTANT relative used it?

Its more annoying if they share it with someone in class who they see every day not their parents cousin kid who they will likely barely even know exists.

Never heard that rule and lots of cousins and 2nd cousins with the same names in my family, so my one uncle named his first son after granddad, 2nd son after my dad (his big brother) 3rd son after another brother. My brother is named after dad's grandfather and dad's cousin and dad's brother, I have the feminine version of dad's name, another of my cousins is named after yet another brother of dad's. I guess we don't have much imagination in my family.

I'm thinking of even more now, two cousins named after dad's sisters, uncle named after his father my grandfather. Not sure if anyone has a name that is just theirs until my kids generation when we got more adventurous although one of my grandson's is named after my dad so he has the male version of my name and another grandchild has my mother's name.

Two of my cousins who are close in age are named after an uncle who was deceased so I suppose that follows your rule.

The more I think about it the worse it gets.

‘Wrong’ - calm down, it’s very common to use these terms. And regardless of what term you use, the OP needs to get a grip and let it go. It doesn’t matter

YABU

It's quite normal for sons to be named after the father or grandfather, and no big deal for a distant cousin to have the same name/surname.

If your son's name+surname is unusual and available as a dotcom or uk domain, then register the domains now. e.g. www.jeremiahpoots.com

Possessing your dotcom domain makes you the 'premier' Jeremiah Poots. I have a not hugely unusual name but I registered my dotcom over 20 years ago, and it's very pleasing.

No you don't own a name. But who would call their son Alexander Montgomery when there is already a wee boy called Alexander Montgomery in the extended Montgomery family? It's just weird.

No one has your surname?

Is it a made up surname then.

It’s an odd thing to do but it’s not the end of the world and it depends on how close the cousin and DH are to each other too.

Is it a family name like a grandfather?

I don’t know why anyone would choose to do this.

MIL and her two brothers all had a son with the same name (so three first cousins); two of their cousins called their sons that name, too! Seemed a bit much to me but none of them cared.

I don’t think second cousins sharing a first name is such a huge deal.

How common is the name? That’s the crux. There might be loads of names but if it’s a pretty common name, it may well be a name one of them had always liked/intended to use.

If it’s a pretty unusual name, that’s less likely, and makes it a bit more weird.

@shoulde, ignore the droves of “you don’t own a name” 🙄
These are from the Mumsnetters that just seem to find joy in being derogatory and patronising on any post that they can.

Of course it’s bloody irritating that they decided to call their child the same name as your child. It’s also bloody weird.
It’s absolutely the last thing that most people would do, and it’s confusing for family members.
They didn’t break any laws no, but they did dial up the weirdness to 11

Your child and husbands cousins child? Get a grip, you'll be lucky if they ever bump into each other at family funerals!

I agree.
It is weird and is the unwritten rule you don't take someone else's name although at least your child is older op x

If it had been your DH’s sibling had done it, I’d have thought you would not be being unreasonable, however, it’s your DH’s cousin’s child so unless they live in the same road/town, I don’t think it’s that big of an issue.

Do you see them a lot? Just before I was born my mum’s cousin had a child and called her the name my parents had for me. They felt they needed to pick another. I never met her!

If it was first cousins I could understand but 2nd cousins I don't think it should be an issue. My cousins are in Ireland and I'm in England. My son went to school with two girls with exactly the same names as two of my cousins.

He is likely to meet people with the same name, I found out a local head teacher has the same name as me.

In my family it's how we honour too.
Ours is Michael - Grandad, uncle, brother, nephew, cousin, second cousin. Previous poster says fucking weird? Guess what...they all are all different individual people in a loving family.

I would be delighted. It is not your whole child they have stolen

Usual rule is "one in one out" I think. This means you must immediately change your kid's name.