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Original poster

To feel scared he was at my door?

38 replies

meadowhouse · 20/12/2024 19:29

Should I be concerned that a now convicted gang member was on my doorstep last year?

Context: His girlfriend and I worked at the same place although never spoken except to say hello. I've never spoken to him but I've seen him and her together as we live in the same building.

About a year ago there was a random knock on the door and it was him. I didn't open or say anything. It never happened again. I don't know if he got the wrong door or if he knew I lived there (I don't know how as never told his girlfriend and they've never seen me leave or enter)

Now I check the news and he's been sent to prison for his involvement in gang related murders. I'm worried why was he knocking on my door? More specifically I'm worried if there was any reason behind it or if he was sent by someone from my past. All sorts are going through my head...

OP posts:
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Ezlo · 21/12/2024 12:48

johnyhadasister · 20/12/2024 23:01

with God's help

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God's not real.

Original poster
meadowhouse · 21/12/2024 12:44

Poppyseeds79 · 21/12/2024 12:22

If he'd been trying to approach you for any reason he'd not have knocked on your door once and never again.

If the building has hundreds of flats the most likely explanation would be his girlfriend sent him to collect something from someone else living there (maybe selling an item), and he got the wrong door.

It's your imagination telling you he was looking strangely at you outside a few days later. You were probably within his direct sight, nothing more.

You're adding 2+2 and getting 5 here OP. Don't give it anymore thought.

Thank you, that does seem a logical explanation!

OP posts:
NotMeForBakeoff · 21/12/2024 12:33

meadowhouse · 21/12/2024 12:31

I'd love to know how my being anxious is a 'burden on society' 🤣

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I'd ignore that poster, who clearly has their own issues this Christmas. I can see why you are worried, but they are locked up now, so try to distract yourself.

Original poster
meadowhouse · 21/12/2024 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I'd love to know how my being anxious is a 'burden on society' 🤣

OP posts:
Enterthedragonqueen · 21/12/2024 12:30

This reply has been deleted

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Poppyseeds79 · 21/12/2024 12:22

If he'd been trying to approach you for any reason he'd not have knocked on your door once and never again.

If the building has hundreds of flats the most likely explanation would be his girlfriend sent him to collect something from someone else living there (maybe selling an item), and he got the wrong door.

It's your imagination telling you he was looking strangely at you outside a few days later. You were probably within his direct sight, nothing more.

You're adding 2+2 and getting 5 here OP. Don't give it anymore thought.

BMW6 · 21/12/2024 10:17

This is your hyper anxiety talking.

in the past year he has spoken to thousands of people, knocked on dozens of doors.

You are an absolute stranger to him. You have zero relevance in his life. He has no more reason to do anything to you than anyone in the world.

I bet my life that your very existence has never registered with him. He certainly won't remember your door.

Original poster
meadowhouse · 21/12/2024 10:16

SnoopysHoose · 21/12/2024 10:08

I would tell the police and see if they can put your mind at rest.
what a waste of police time, no wonder
they're overstretched if people think this is necessary.
OP you're being ridiculous.

I never mentioned police

OP posts:
SnoopysHoose · 21/12/2024 10:08

I would tell the police and see if they can put your mind at rest.
what a waste of police time, no wonder
they're overstretched if people think this is necessary.
OP you're being ridiculous.

Original poster
meadowhouse · 21/12/2024 09:11

Missionimprobable · 21/12/2024 07:36

You say "now" you've seen he's in prison.
It may have bought up feelings of unease, he knocked on your door, you felt uncomfortable, no reason in your thought process of why he's knocked on your door.
Has this triggered you, the fact that he's in prison and you've seen what sort of person he is?
I mean this kindly, you are definitely overthinking.
He won't remember knocking on your door.
You won't be a thought in his head (he'll have other things to worry about)
Don't give him any more headspace

Thank you. Yes, has worried me as I'm a very anxious person.

OP posts:
Original poster
meadowhouse · 21/12/2024 09:07

witchycat2 · 20/12/2024 20:32

Maybe it was something mundane about something building related - a power cut, a water issue etc

To answer some questions:

  • The building has hundreds of flats and he doesn't live on the same floor so wouldn't make sense he would knock on my door out of hundreds.
  • It won't have been about a misdelivered parcel as all parcels are delivered to the foyer which is nowhere near my flat.

I'm a very private and fearful person which is why this has got me overthinking. I don't talk to many people and keep myself to myself, mainly because I've been trying to keep a low profile. Think fleeing DV etc.

  • I had about three people knock on my door last year in total which is why I remember it. I don't have a Ring doorbell but have a door peephole. Didn't answer at time as I don't answer to anyone I don't know.
  • A few days after he knocked I saw him and his girlfriend outside and he looked at me and it felt unsettling.
  • The murders were nearly a year ago
  • Not trying to involve myself in anything.
OP posts:
Missionimprobable · 21/12/2024 07:36

You say "now" you've seen he's in prison.
It may have bought up feelings of unease, he knocked on your door, you felt uncomfortable, no reason in your thought process of why he's knocked on your door.
Has this triggered you, the fact that he's in prison and you've seen what sort of person he is?
I mean this kindly, you are definitely overthinking.
He won't remember knocking on your door.
You won't be a thought in his head (he'll have other things to worry about)
Don't give him any more headspace

Enterthedragonqueen · 21/12/2024 06:17

Bloody hell get some therapy. If you go to the police with this they will laugh at you out of the station.

There is no real threat to you at all. Do you still work with his girlfriend and are they still together?

steff13 · 21/12/2024 05:37

When you say gang do you mean the mafia? Do you think you might have been a hitman?

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/12/2024 04:46

Gang members run out of milk too.

Teanbiscuits33 · 21/12/2024 03:42

How do you know it was him if you didn’t answer the door? Do you have a ring doorbell? To be honest, you sound like you need to get a bit more of a life if you remember who knocked your door a year ago, never mind trying to make your life seem more interesting by telling the internet that a now convicted gang member knocked your door.

It’s so bizzare it’s making me think this thread is a piss take, but then again that’s why I love mumsnet for a glimpse of other people’s weird and wonderful thought processes and ways of being.

It reminds me of the types of people who, when a disaster happens somewhere, say ‘’Ooh, we went there last year, aren’t we lucky it wasn’t us, Margaret!?’’ 🤣 because they want attention and tell anyone in earshot

johnyhadasister · 20/12/2024 23:01

feedmefudge · 20/12/2024 22:50

How do some people get through life?

with God's help

Peanutssuck · 20/12/2024 22:58

You sound like the type of person that let's everybody know you were at a murder scene 5 years beforehand

Edingril · 20/12/2024 22:51

GiveItAGoMalcom · 20/12/2024 22:47

Tell them what? 😳🤣

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"Excuse me officer last year someone knocked on my door, he is jail now but can you please find do an independent investigation and interrogate him and find out his ulterior motive"

feedmefudge · 20/12/2024 22:50

How do some people get through life?

1smallhamsterfoot · 20/12/2024 22:49

Erm... Genuinely... Are you alright?

Edingril · 20/12/2024 22:49

Yes you are overthinking

ICantBelieveItsNotButtercunt · 20/12/2024 22:48

It was a year ago, so I think it’s fine, he was probably looking for a misdeliveredAmazon parcel or something.

GiveItAGoMalcom · 20/12/2024 22:47

rararararararar · 20/12/2024 20:31

I would tell the police and see if they can put your mind at rest.

Tell them what? 😳🤣

Allthehorsesintheworld · 20/12/2024 22:46

I think you’re overthinking it. Do you have a door camera? Sufficient locks?
Theres no risk from him but these measures will make you feel more secure.