People writing cards with late partners in them

I invited my future father in law and his ex wife (no 2) to my wedding rather than his current wife (no 3). Although they were all alive. I don’t really do Christmas cards but if I did I feel I could easily do something like this, rushing and thinking of a million other things. It’s not meant.

Is it that this is the only contact they have and they don't actually know?

On a lighter side, I addressed my cousins card last year to her and her first husband. She's been marred to no 2 for about 8 years.

In all honesty I just wasn't thinking, I think she enjoyed plastering it all over socials!

I almost slipped up this year. We are at an age where the list updates frequently. For extended family, it gets hard to remember as I am working on a large list and often get interrupted as I write. Thankfully I have DH who does a check for me to see if I have missed any edits.

It’s still no guarantee though because at this point I am relying on my elderly father to relay news about certain relatives. I could just stop sending them cards so I don’t risk a faux pas, but that feels even worse.

I've actually had this the other way around, signed from a couple after one had actually gone, so it must be helpful to some people to continue to include them in the family.

Is it "Dear Roger and Margaret"? In which case I assume they've either forgotten that Roger has died, or they're writing names on autopilot from an old Christmas card list.

Or is it acknowledging the dead partner in a way that's presumably meant to be kind, so "Dear Margaret, wishing you a peaceful Christmas and remembering your dear Roger"?

Thoughtless and cunty

I see people writing happy birthday to dead people on Facebook clearly totally unaware they have died. I imagine these people are just unaware or going through their address book without thinking. I doubt it's malicious.

People forget?
They use last year's list and go a bit on autopilot?
Or they just don't know?

That's really weird. Do the senders not realise the OH has died?

Aww I have no idea why people would do that! It’s really thoughtless. The only thing I can think of is that they want them to know that their OH is still in their thoughts.