Mum wants to sell property I live in ASAP

OP has LITERALLY said this is her plan, so it's a bit unnecessary to passively aggressively query it, no?

I think you're getting a hard time OP. No, you're not entitled to your mum's money, but if she didn't want to give it to you, or have you stay in her flat beyond a set time, she shouldn't have made the offer in the first place! Offering something (in fact several things) and then going back on it when you had made plans taking it into account is rude, and it's shitty that both she, and your partner's parents have done it.

It's weird that posters are calling you entitled when it's not as if you asked for money - both parents apparently voluntarily offered - which is completely normal, apparently more than half of first time buyers homes are at least partly funded by the "bank of mum and dad."

On the bright side, if you are further along in the buying process than she is in the selling one, then even if she does put it up for sale in January it seems unlikely that she will have sold her flat before you've bought your new home.

I'm also a bit confused as to why your boyfriend is saying he will go into an air bnb - either you will still be in the flat in which case why can't he move in with you briefly as planned, it won't make any difference to your mum being able to sell it whether both of you are living there or just one person? or you will have left the flat in which case can't he just move to wherever you are planning on going?

This is definitely one of the massive cons of living in an unofficial rent arrangement with a family member as the owner. I was the partner in a similar situation to yours and had moved a very long way to live in a house we were told we could live in for 18 months only for the owner to decide after 8 weeks that actually, they were selling the house now and we needed to be out ASAP and we suddenly had to scramble around for rent deposits, somewhere to live and movers within a fortnight of being told. The rush meant we ended up in somewhere unsuitable because we were on the cusp of being homeless.

FWIW I definitely didn’t hold it against the partner I had at the time as he was just as dumbfounded as I was, however it did make me decide never to agree to that sort of living situation again.

her timing sounds right, you should be in your new place before a sale is completed on the flat that you are currently living in

Agree, the whole buying/selling/exchange/completion process is extremely lengthy.
Don't know the full story re your mum changing money agreements/amounts but there could be more to it?

I really wouldn't pay to replace anything because it's entirely possible that the next owner would rip it all out anyway.

I don’t think it is worth rocking the boat as that might make her have second thoughts about helping you. As the flat is not on the market yet, is it possible that you would move before it is sold. There is little you can actually do, just hold your tongue and let her know how grateful you are. What are your plans if completion on the flat does not happen before your house is ready?

putting a property on the market doesnt guarantee it will sell any time soon. It could take up to 6 months. Will you have moved to your own property within a few months anyway?

However quickly your Mum wants to sell it still takes about 10-12 weeks for searches to be completed and contracts exchanged. Solicitors often take on more work than they can cope with so their are delays.

I think you're overthinking
It takes time to sell a property and most house buyers/ sellers exchange and CV complete on the same day
Even if she agreed an offer tomorrow, it could take a couple of months to complete on her sale
Landlords put property on the market with tenants in situ.
I get that it's unsettling when goalposts change but she might have her money invested where notice is needed for withdrawal for example.
You and your DM have got your wires crossed and you need to ask her to clarify.
Do your best to clean and replace broken and stained bits in bathroom but a stain probably wouldn't put a serious buyer off

Why is your partner getting an air bnb without you?

@YourLivelyRedBiscuit just have a conversation about expectations. Make sure you keep pressure on your purchase so it doesn’t drag on. Take the stuff you bought with you. I’d get the lino and taps/hose sorted. I doubt your Mum expects you to move out before your purchase goes through but she probably wants things moving. It will likely take a few months even if it goes on the market immediately.

I get being worried, housing uncertainty is stressful. But I also understand your mother wanting to sell especially since you’re moving anyway.

I’m not in the UK and my understanding is that buying/selling is a potentially lengthy process where nobody knows what’s happening for much of it (we sign contracts often within a day or two of first offer usually within 2 weeks it’s locked in and you can’t back out, with transfer anywhere from 30 -60 days after signing contact common), which makes it even more unsettling.

Time for some backup planning on your side (what to do if your plane falls through or is delayed) and calm conversation with your mother about getting the place ready to sell. It may be that she needs this to move on as she needs the money (especially as she’s not getting rent). It’s unlikely she’s just waiting to cause trouble.

I think it was unfair for your mum to change her mind about such important things. I wouldn't do that to my children and I don't think you and your partner are expecting handouts as it were but it seems your parents offered to help. Which is a lovely thing to be able to do given how hard it is. Our parents helped us siblings where they could and I intend to do the same for my children, that's just what we do in our family. And we all work hard too, our parents aren't wealthy they just offer whatever they could financially, be it not charging rent, looking after grandchildren, buying things for a new house.

Most of the time buying one place is contingent on selling another place often you will exchange contracts on both the property that you sell and buy on the same day. Once exchanged you essentially commit to buy/sell the property. All you need to do is ask your mother if she is willing to delay exchange of contracts (if her sale is progressing faster than your purchase) until you have exchanged on your purchase.

Are you and BF putting in a similar amount? Are you ringfencing any excess? Do you have a similar income? Make sure that you are protected going into the agreement.

Promising significant financial support when your child is buying a property and then bailing with no clear explanation is abusive.

This is what the BFs parents did tho (apparently) not the OPs DM. Seems they bailed completely with no explanation.

What was the BFs explanation for this (did he feel 'stuck in the middle', 'embarassed to communicate' this to OP and 'let down' and was he as stressed as the OP)?

Maybe the OPs DM is 'unsettled' by this change as she undertsood that there was (equal?) financial support coming from the otherside and alarm bells rung when this dropped to zero?

The OPs DM has gobe over and above - she has not bailed. She has rescheduled one chunk of £10k and she is getting her flat on the market in time with no hint that they will be evicted. Their house purchase in underway - the flat is not even on the market. Conveyancing for flats generally takes longer than houses so OP is well ahead from a time perspective.

My alarm bells are ringing with the BF demanding the OPs DM has money reading for their legal bills.....

My suspicion is that the BF parents never had any money on the table .... but I'm old and cynical as I have seen enough in life so.....

Promising significant financial support when you are buying a property and then bailing with no clear explanation is abusive.

The only person to have done this is the OPs BF

How long have you been there? Your buying a house and hers is not on the market yet so you will be moved into your new house before it's sold. What's the issue?

I get it. No matter how grateful you are for money, help etc, big promises that don't eventuate are annoying. Especially when you make plans based on those promises.

This in spades.

What a terrible way to ‘teach your child a lesson’

Promising significant financial support when your child is buying a property and then bailing with no clear explanation is abusive.

OP assume no more help or promised money is coming and make your own plans accordingly

try this on the taps
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B073XLZXD3/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I think you may have got crossed wires. Your DM wants to sell so she is not lumbered with bills when you leave.

I don’t imagine she is going to throw you out.

Talk to her.

"Mum, I just wanted to double check that you're still ok for me to stay in the flat until my purchase completes? I know you said you want to put it on the market, but I just wanted to clarify that I won't have to leave before my new home is ready to move into? Love, YourLivelyRedBiscuit xxx"

I’m really confused. You don’t own the property, so why are you fretting about replacing or upgrading things before sale, or worrying about the photos?

I’d think fair enough and plan to move out of her property ASAP.