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Original poster

Do I cancel? I’m in a flood of tears

132 replies

dustofastar · 20/12/2024 18:45

Meeting three friends for dinner, one of them has fallen out with me but I thought things were now ok.

She’s arranged to meet the other two before our meeting place. I feel like just saying I’m too ill to go out.

OP posts:
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moodybluehpc · 02/01/2025 13:55

You're lucky this is all you have get upset about. Grow up

JoBoJoBo · 01/01/2025 01:32

dustofastar · 20/12/2024 18:45

Meeting three friends for dinner, one of them has fallen out with me but I thought things were now ok.

She’s arranged to meet the other two before our meeting place. I feel like just saying I’m too ill to go out.

You are acting like a teenager.Imagine if you had a true reason to be in tears such as a serious illness.You need to give your head a wobble .

arethereanyleftatall · 22/12/2024 18:14

julesplusvodka · 22/12/2024 17:18

No response to any of the questions asked!
is this genuine?

I find it all so so rude. It happens so often on mumsnet. Poster is in 'floods of tears'. Strangers rush in to offer their time and words to help her. Then, nothing. So so so rude.

julesplusvodka · 22/12/2024 17:18

No response to any of the questions asked!
is this genuine?

IdylicDay · 22/12/2024 15:08

How do it go OP?

Snakebite61 · 22/12/2024 13:43

dustofastar · 20/12/2024 18:45

Meeting three friends for dinner, one of them has fallen out with me but I thought things were now ok.

She’s arranged to meet the other two before our meeting place. I feel like just saying I’m too ill to go out.

Get rid of them all. Stick to your true friends.

NoDought · 22/12/2024 09:45

dustofastar · 20/12/2024 18:50

It’s on the group chat

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Just say ‘great see you there’ and leave her to embarrass herself by saying she didn’t mean you.

YourWildAmberSloth · 21/12/2024 22:37

I'm reading this as the friend that you have fallen out with doesn't want to see you, so has arranged to meet the other two beforehand. They will then meet you later as planned. Why would you want to cancel? She's avoiding confrontation and your other friends will get to see both of you, albeit it at different times.

notatinydancer · 21/12/2024 22:09

ICantBelieveItsNotButtercunt · 20/12/2024 21:39

Why?

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Because it sounds like they’re about 15

Yabadabadu · 21/12/2024 21:34

Don’t cancel, the other two friends are your friends too. You don’t want to lose them because of this friend.

Mitzuko · 21/12/2024 21:27

Normally I avoid social gatherings where there is toxic behaviours going on. I wouldn't care what others think, it's my life and if your in tears now, you'd be possibly angry, upset, overwhelmed after this cheerful fake evening, where you cannot be yourself. I wouldn't waste energy and peace of mind for people I don't go along with.
Others can think what they want. If they love me, they'll understand

Tessiebear2023 · 21/12/2024 21:24

dustofastar · 20/12/2024 18:45

Meeting three friends for dinner, one of them has fallen out with me but I thought things were now ok.

She’s arranged to meet the other two before our meeting place. I feel like just saying I’m too ill to go out.

Go. They might have something to say that you need to hear.. Or it might all be BS, if so, you know you're done with all and can move on. Or, by doing this your friend might just be showing her arse (mudslingers usually get more crap on themselves in pursuit of targeting others). Either way, you need to put your big girl pants on and find out, really no need for floods of tears. If it all goes tits-up it'll make a great story for your other friend group?

midlandsdogwalker · 21/12/2024 20:16

Turn up, treat everyone the same and show them all you are the better person.

BooneyBeautiful · 21/12/2024 19:58

Gazelda · 20/12/2024 18:52

Don't cancel. Face it out. Otherwise you'll want to cancel next time, and the next ...

Go along. Big smile. Be friendly. If there's tension, raise it and clear the air. If there's no tension, you'll be relieved to know your friendships are still strong.

Great advice!

Marieb19 · 21/12/2024 19:28

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 20/12/2024 19:18

If they're all going along with it together then they're being really unkind. Falling out with you is childish anyway, she should have a conversation and if whatever you've done is so bad she should either resolve it or decide to withdraw from group meet ups.

Just go. Let her cancel if she wants to. These are your friends.

LaDamaDeElche · 21/12/2024 19:28

I don’t understand. Has she specifically asked only them in the group chat? That would be awful if that’s the case.

MustWeDoThis · 21/12/2024 19:26

dustofastar · 20/12/2024 18:45

Meeting three friends for dinner, one of them has fallen out with me but I thought things were now ok.

She’s arranged to meet the other two before our meeting place. I feel like just saying I’m too ill to go out.

No. Don't say anything - Do nothing (As the Queen would say).Silence is the best response. Let her shoot all her arrows until her feet are full of holes and her quiver is empty - Then post pictures of your night out, to the group, with a massive shit-eating grin.

Shoulders back, tits forward.

Missmarymack2 · 21/12/2024 19:16

I don’t really understand this situation and how it arose in a group chat. Also it’s not worth being in floods of tears over at all.

SilverChampagne · 21/12/2024 19:13

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 20/12/2024 18:53

If it’s in the group chat can’t you meet them early too?

Exactly? There’s nothing going on behind your back, op. You’re the one making a drama out of nothing.

GreyCarpet · 21/12/2024 19:11

OP, I have been on the wrong side of a Queen Bee dynamic.

There's no fun in being where you're not wanted. If the other two allow it to happen then they're not really friends either.

I wonder if you went and how it played out?

Anonymousat103 · 21/12/2024 19:05

Say that you are declining the preplanned outing since the remaining three have excluded you from their meeting, which is disloyal to you. If they explain that it was to sort out the disagreement then you should reconsider but only if they make you comfortable with their explanation.
anonymousat103

MarvellousMonsters · 21/12/2024 18:18

Did you go?

Teasloth · 21/12/2024 17:47

Did you go?

BlueSky2023 · 21/12/2024 11:07

That’s just playing her own games back at her and stooping to her level, she will also know what your doing and not much will be achieved, I would really question whether those women are even worth bothering with, they probably aren’t, being part of bitchy groups really Dosen’t add anything to your life and I think you would find that your life is much better without them and your thinking time is freed up to focus on better things, Bitchy women are just a drain to associate with and don’t enrich your life in any way

When they go low you go high, dump them

Tooes · 21/12/2024 10:43

If not too late, arrange to premeet the other two before the three of them meet, before the four of you meet

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