To be upset by MIL's comments

My MIL used to serve me half of what the men were served. She ate like a bird herself at mealtimes but snacked constantly through the day so presumably wasn’t that hungry for a meal.

It drove me mad. I just wanted a normal meal without judgement.

I empathise, OP.

Eat the amount you want and ignore ignore ignore x

Next time she says you've eaten a lot, just laugh and say "not quite as much as your son!"

I grew up with two brothers, and anytime someone said something sexist like "MsCactus doesn't do any housework" I'd just point out how little my brother's did "no comments for them?!", or my DH or another man. Most people get uncomfortable when you do this, because it becomes blatant they're being sexist

I would have a word with your dh and ask him to speak to his mother to stop

once done and she continues then I would say oh Flossie I thought DH had spoken to you and asked you not to be so rude as to comment on what I do and don’t eat, but to make it clear I am a healthy weight, I eat healthily and don’t undertake fad diets like you do. Please stop now

How old, roughly is your MIL, as I wonder if that might be a factor? My MIL never used to do this, if anything would encourage me to eat plenty, but in the last few years (early 70s) she comments at every meal... However for her I don't think it's meant as a dig, it's genuine surprise. We've realised when visiting her that she eats very small amounts - in the sense of if she buys a ready made sandwich she'll wrap half of it up and save it for later - and it isn't about dieting, her appetite has drastically reduced as she's got older. Other things have changed too, eg she sleeps less, and I think it's just a shift in what is normal for her. So by contrast she genuinely is shocked at what I cook, but it's because her idea of what is normal has changed. Could it be similar for her do you think?

But anyway, having some ready responses to shut it down sounds like a good plan, you're clearly eating in a way that suits you and is healthy!

Shes jealous. Coz she had to work hard to look like you.

She's jealous. Just do what you're doing and smile at her. Or, say "still on your diet, Jean? What a shame, never mind"...
😁

@HowF3stive love that - it's mostly alcohol and crisps. Agree with PP, it's about her not you. It's comments like this that will start an eating disorder in some people

If you don't want to address it directly get your DH to have a quiet word and tell her its triggering when she keeps bringing up portion sizes and she is making you paranoid.

Otherwise, i think there are some good suggestions above.

Hope you enjoy your Christmas.

OP I think you need to remember that she’s not commenting on your food portions because of you or the way you look, she’s commenting because she is hyper focused on food and weight must consume her mind. I would try and remind yourself that you’ve now got a great relationship with food, and it is awfully sad MIL is struggling with hers.

If it has upset you a lot I would either say “Yes I love my food, food is fuel” or “please don’t comment on my portions” I would also maybe just ask DH to remind MIL not to comment on what I eat

My MIL does this to me.

I'm almost 5'11 and a size 10 and she often comments on how much I eat. I just ignore her and eat what I want - I tend to eat when I'm hungry and if it's good food I'll eat as much as I want/need, then usually don't bother eating again later as I'm still full.

She makes a point of having small portions, then I always spot her later with biscuits in her hand or eating something. She is barrel shaped and VERY over weight.

Just ignore your MIL or say something baffling like "The longer the shelf life, the shorter your life". Enjoy the food!

I hate people commenting on my eating. I’m a fast eater but don’t have massive portions
When people say “Gosh you must have been hungry the way you gobbled that up” is annoying and embarrassing in equal measure.

I just don't want the thoughts of restriction to rear their ugly head again.

But it already has, hasn't it?

Unless you're brand new to Mumsnet, you'll know exactly what answers you'll get on this thread.

You've got a few choices.

1. Ignore her.
2. Confront her.
3. Get your husband to have a word.

There's nothing else you can really do apart from go NC I suppose.

I am sure over Christmas I will be hearing how slim everyone else in the family is. Admittedly I have put on weight particularly this year, but the last few months have been horrendously stressful and I comfort eat, whereas they tend to lose weight when stressed.

Some people are just weight obsessed, I've even Met people who I'd consider fatphobic. It's definitely a them problem .

Are you in a relationship with my ex? Because your rude boot of a MIL sounds exactly like his mother, right down to the diet of booze and crisps. If you are, lumbered with that family of misfits I strongly recommend you ditch him and them- doesn’t get any better…

Easier said than done, especially as you have a history of disordered eating but please don’t let this woman’s comments get to you. Enjoy your food and ignore those stupid digs (and they are digs).

Unless your sat on her face or she's paying for the food you eat then your food consumption and weight are none of her business. You may not be brace enough to say that though😅😅 so I'd just tell her that you understand how hard it is for her that she has to watch every bite but you're just lucky that you don't.

Why would you cut back when you're a perfectly healthy weight?

Next time she says it just say yeah I'm so lucky aren't I.

@HowF3stive
It sounds like a MIL problem...
I would smile pop another mouthful in and say yes it's great isn't it that i can eat what i like and still stay as trim as i do
Thanks for noticing my food intake

She doesn't mean to be mean. My mum does this. I'm slimish and don't really eat between meals but a full plate plus pudding if available. My mum is always on a diet and overweight. She believes her weight gain is her slow metabolism and not the amount she eats. I expect your mil is the same. They have disordered eating and funny ideas about food and weight loss. Just brush it off, smile and have an extra potato!

Absolutely this! It's about her, not you.

You are not being oversensitive, she is rude. Lots of good suggestions from others about ways to approach this and, hopefully, get her to stop with the unnecessary comments.

"I'm so lucky I can maintain a healthy weight without watching every calorie"

"I've never been in the habit of gobbling my food which is why I'm always the last one to finish".