No elbows on the table rule is arbitrary and not relevant in 2024

Not in my immediate friendship groups but seems to be a thing amongst younger friends and relatives, although I have one friend in her 40s whose started doing it.

Yes exactly this. If you can make up whichever manners suit you and it is all purely down to personal taste and subjective opinion, then where do you draw a line and where does it end? Extrapolate that to society more broadly, where acceptable standards in terms of morality and values and right conduct are out the window and its the land of do whatever you like all the time and we're living under the tyranny of relativism. It's the last days of Rome. We have passed the peak of our civilisation and its going to be a long decline back to barbarism.

Maybe, still get invites though so it can’t bother them that much!

I’ve seen posts referring to elbows on table with cutlery in hands. That’s not what I mean! I’m not shovelling food in, elbows up and head down, like a cartoon character.

Hats at the table is the same as coats !

Gentlemen should remove hats inside let alone at a table
I think good manners and table manners are a good thing

“Take your hat off when you eat people”

I wasn’t aware cannabalism had specific etiquette.

When eating I think it's slovenly and rude. Balancing wrists and lower forearms on the side of the table is fine, as that allows for gesticulation, but elbows are a definite no for me.

I have a friend whose posture is so awful when eating I refuse to sit next to her; she spreads out her elbows and hunches over her plate. Her overbearing physical presence at the table cuts you off from conversation if you're unfortunate enough to be cornered by her.

When you're not eating it's fine as long as your elbows are kept neat and back straight.

DH occasionally rests his forearms on the table whilst eating (I mean everything but his elbows) and I tell him off gently for pushing boundaries, as do my DDs: "You're pushing boundaries, Daddy!".

Americans generally eat with the fork in their right hand, not left. They tend to just use the side of the fork to cut their food or if they do use a knife they switch it into their right hand then put it down when finished using. It is annoying

Only something my physiotherapist worries about.
To routinely sit up and support one's back without having elbows on the table is better for muscle strength and posture that supports the back. Helps with headaches.

Slovenly diners are not really noticed, particularly when they are good company.

Yes, come to think of it, that's my understanding of the rule, and it's what I observe and have taught my DCs.

YANBU
Where else would you put them?

Ha, I'm in Australia! Must be in different circles - mine are often found to be talking with their mouth full so a hand over the mouth would be a pleasant addition 😂

Come to Australia. It's quite common here, though only among women, I've found.
It's weird, like some denial of what one is doing. It's not annoying and 🤮 in the way that putting the hand in front of the mouth while continuing to talk with the mouth full of food. Again, only women in my experience.

The lining up your knife and fork neatly across the middle of the plate I do agree with. It's to signal you've finished eating therefore isn't arbitrary.

I was brought up being told to take my elbows off the table, but now that you've prompted me to think about it, I can honestly say I've never in my life noticed or been bothered by anyone doing it.

Knife and fork placed together indicates that you have finished and makes plate clearing a lot easier if one person is clearing the table

It's a stupid and arbitrary rule which I am happy to disregard.

I always rest my elbows on the table. Not while I am using my cutlery and putting food into my mouth as that would be awkward and uncomfortable, but otherwise they are always there (on the table).

If anyone decides to be offended by that then that's their problem.

1. It causes the diner to sit too far forward, blocking other diners' views of each other, stunting communications and general conviviality.
2. High chance of getting food that's splashed onto the tables all over your sleeves.
3. Gives the general impression you are so lacking in energy and oomph that you can't even be bothered to support your own body weight by sitting up normally. Not particularly flattering for your companions.

YABU - no elbows on tables and I judge. Sorry but I really do. It is not OK.

Maybe they also consider it bad manners to tell you...

I've literally never seen anyone do this covering their mouth when eating? Is it common in your circles?

Unless for religious or medical reasons, no hats on your head whilst eating please. Especially baseball caps, it's so fxuking rude. Take your hat off when you eat people. It's rude, your not outside and it's not raining either. No need. Use as many elbows as you like though. No burping, farting, sneezing, coughing either. Excuse yourself and do it in the bathroom, you savage.

Nope I got it. Complete sarcasm. Or was your response sarcastic in nature 😂?

And a comma is required after your 'Gosh'