DO NOT give your kid a smartphone this Christmas

If this were true, we would already have a generation of unemployable people. We don't, so I think you're catastrophising.

Strangely, my dc are doing well at school, are successful and engaged in their multiple hobbies, and aren't showing any of these symptoms.

There are risks to having phones, absolutely, but there's also an impact to being without one. This is one of a thousand decisions a parent will make about what works for their dc and their family.

You get over it and accept that you can’t know where your child is at every moment of the day or if you are seriously worried, you contact the police.

No it just means if they go off radar I know why and don't assume they're dead in a ditch.

The thing is, you can not get your child a smartphone and they still be exposed to all the same things because other kids have smartphones.

OR.... You could allow your child to have a smartphone, put boundaries around when they have access, what they have access to and keep an open dialogue with them. It's much harder to actually parent rather than ban the things that are causing an issue.

Hilarious that your evidence for this rant was social media though. Pot, meet kettle.

So what happens when she doesn't reply and you don't know if it's because the phone is dead, at the bottom of her bag, she's deliberately avoiding you because she's up to no good or something bad has happened to her? My life360 shows me where they are if they're not answering and if their battery is low. Friend of mine whose daughter has a brick phone recently asked me to check life360 to establish whether the kids' delayed train was moving as she wasn't getting any response from her daughter.

Is it possible to have a smart phone but put some sort of parental controls on that don't allow social media?

Teaching or do you mean tracking? You can track an airtag on an ipad (or other apple device), do you have one of those?

You need real-time updates on the state of your kids phone battery? That's a crazy level of stalking

They are bad for children. The OP posting it on social media in no way undermines that. Kids shouldn’t be on social media.
Especially stuff like tiktok which is full of disgusting videos glorifying eating disorders and stuff. And Snapchat - wow what a super idea - let’s invent an app that deletes messages and photos after a few seconds. Genius.

You’re missing out putting limits on it. That’s all we’ve done with DS. Saying a blanket no to phones is going to cause a lot of other issues…kids will be left out, isolated and in many ways will not know how to deal with the modern world because it is, and will continue to be, tech reliant. Clearly free and unlimited access isn’t great but neither is a blanket no.

I agree OP. Phones/social media are ruining this generation. They are so addictive. And our young people’s brains are still developing.

if you are a parent of a child who has handled this well, then well done. But most kids I come across are completely zoned out and don’t know how to communicate.

I don’t think it’s fair to have a go at the OP about sharing an Instagram video to get the message across. There are multiple research papers on this but parents aren’t reading those. Best to use a medium at the heart of the problem.

also if your child already has a smart phone, then there is a fantastic thing called a brick. You scan your phone on this brick and it locks you out of whatever apps you choose. So you could get your kids to scan the brick before school so no social media, but maps and bus tickets would still work.

https://getbrick.app/?srsltid=AfmBOoqy4myeah2RhDP6Ih3wLUMhc3BqA2y0MJHmGQAZb0iEfTCvAyM5

.Bus passes, train tickets, maps, timetables and live train/bus running info are all on apps
Paper train tickets are available. Timetables and live info is displayed at stations. Timetables can be printed out.
You really don't need a smartphone in order to travel

smartphones are bad…anyway, here’s a link I found on Instagram whilst on my smartphone to back that up

Well obviously, it's the only way to get the attention of some people.
Hardly going to stick it in a newspaper.

I would have preferred if smartphones had never been invented, sat nav , TV and computer is fine lol, but unfortunately we use our smartphone too much. I never used to be addicted to a phone until I got my first smart one. Now I find it so hard not to scroll for something to do within hands reach. Thanks for posting I think I will be making some changes for 2025

why do you think having a phone means they actually USE constant internet access?

Cool well then they don’t need it then. And i don’t mind waiting 15 mins for a late bus. I can also text them on their brick phone to ask where they are - genius.

In 2024, kids who are travelling independently to and from school will struggle without a smartphone. Bus passes, train tickets, maps, timetables and live train/bus running info are all on apps. I also say having life360 (tracker) is valuable for peace of mind (as well as location it shows battery power so if they are not replying you know why and are not panicking.) Also listening to music and reading on Kindle during a journey are both done on smartphone.

It's down to parents to restrict usage via software or physically taking phones away. My teens have tine-limited usage, bedtime blocker and app blocker. They can't download new apps without me checking and don't have social media. I also physically check their phone (search history, photos, messages) for anything untoward and they are left downstairs overnight. It's not all or nothing, you just have to actually do some parenting.

OP is not wrong. That said my eldest does have a smart phone, however it is heavily restricted (taken for travel to and from school only) and has to ask permission to use it outside of these times. Time limits, no social media at all bar WhatsApp, photos are shared with me, a child’s account, parental controls etc.

so so many of their friends do not have any of the above. They’re regularly on it until the early hours and quite frankly it’s nothing short of alarming.

But why does it need to be a smartphone? If I don’t want them to be on any apps at all, what’s the point of having one? And also there are ways around parental controls.

why do you think having a phone means they actually USE constant internet access?

Kids are busy! I am yet to see one getting his mobile phone out in the middle of a football pitch or a dance lesson. Any kind of phone banned during school hours are of course fine by me.

The trackers are brilliant. Parents use to hang around for ages waiting for school buses etc, now we just check where kids are when they are on their way back from various matches and tournaments (that's 2 to 3 times a week, it adds up).

You’re deluded if you think the parental controls work properly. You have to be so vigilant - many of the games apps allow you to click through to unrestricted safari even when the device is locked down.

How on earth does “if you give them a brick phone they'll probably just hide things from you going forward”. Sounds a bit like “if you don’t buy them branded trainers, you’ll ruin their lives”.

We were concerned about social media and web access. We got our son a smart watch when he was ready to walk to/from junior school. It allows tracking/calls/texts but avoids the stuff that worried us.

So you block the browser so that they can only use apps you are happy for them to use.
Buying them a brick phone is just because you are too lazy to set up safeguarding properly on a smartphone.

OP, you do you.

Some of us actually parent.

What neither you or I can parent, are other people access to smart phones. If you are not teaching the basics to your own kid and it's all a novelty for them, how exactly are you dealing with their access to things on friends phones?

Unless you are homeschooling and the kids are never allowed out of your sight?

My 11 yo daughter has an old school nokia brick phone for that. It's great.

They don’t need constant access to the internet though. Most people rarely use their smart phone as an actual phone to call people