DO NOT give your kid a smartphone this Christmas

This is the same argument that’s used about dangerous dog breeds. Not the dog but the owner of the dog. Completely forgetting that said dog was bred to fight and said device was developed by incredibly clever people to be addictive.

🎄❄️🥰😵‍💫🕊️SMARTPHONE INFO POST 🥰❄️🎄😬😬🥶🤯

Ok so, in the interests of passing on really amazing advice we got from a dad who works at the EE shop we went to, he advised us to get an iPhone and not a brick for our 11 yo son. He recommended Backgrid and a SIM only deal, which is why we now have. So far, it has been good advice! This is what he told us:

🎄 Burner phone numbers can be shared with anyone and it doesn't have the same capability to block numbers coming in. So god knows who can contact a child on a burner phone.

🎄 With an iPhone, you set it up in your name with you as a parent. You can control who goes in the contacts and the phone will appear invisible to anyone who is not in the contacts.

🎄You can enable or block apps - any time they want to access one, they need your permission.

🎄 The iphone on this child setting will switch its internet access off during school hours so that it doesn't work, it's just a phone. This is a bit academic now given that so many schools have banned them anyway, but is still useful to know.

At the moment, this works for us - our son gets to feel a bit more independent and can move around after school etc. But he's happy, he sleeps, he talks to us and is doing brilliantly at school. I'm aware it will all change once he properly hits teenagedom, but we've worked with him to set this all up and hopefully it will be something we can continue to negotiate on and share.

Anyway, not sure if this is all known about but thought it was worth sharing anyway. Happy Christmas everyone 🎄

Or, you know, you could stop blaming very useful tech and teach your child how to be responsible with said tech. Why do some people have to blame the equipment that only does what you allow it to do. Smartphones are not the devil, apps aren't evil. The parents who don't monitor their usage and don't teach their children to use them safely should take some responsibility.

How do we do this, genuinely?

Before I got a smartphone, I had an iPod Touch. It was a gorgeous little thing, definitely one of my favourite items ever. I could look at emails on it and it had quite a nice camera, but its specialism was audio and it performed best when I treated it accordingly and didn't expect more from it than radio, music and audiobooks. It would be nice to see those features incorporated into a feature phone - I'm sure that there'd be a market for it outside the under 16s. Lots of older people would love a device that didn't have bells and whistles for SM, but allowed them to access the things they liked, such as maps, audio, a Kindle function etc.

What other devices are people accessing hours and hours of social media throughout the day? Which ones did you have in mind

My 12 year old has one but I’ll never give one as a gift while he is young. I’m
completely floored that there are eleven and twelve year olds walking around with brand new iPhones. Blows me away.

Another vote for YANBU at all.

But then there is a sizeable crowd on MN who'll tell you to "have a day off" for doing independent research into your child's development and wellbeing if the evidence doesn't fit what society accepts as normal.

Agreed. Educating children on the appropriate usage and time spent on any device that has access to the internet, and every piece of good and bad information is the key.

Society now functions largely with the help of smartphones and apps, we need to teach our kids how to grow up in such a world, safely and responsibly.

Or OP, just a thought, maybe parent your child? If they have a access to ANY Internet abled device (including the consoles parents are just happy to let their kids sit on talking to a whole plethora of strangers) place the appropriate restrictions. There are apps and family groups that fully restrict app installations on devices unless given permission by a parent account.

I would change your title to "DO NOT give your kid a smartphone this Christmas if you don't understand how to keep them safe."

Mine are too young right now but they will get smart phones just before starting high school.

@WasThatACorner

The question shouldn't be "how do we limit teenagers access to the world" it should be "how do we support teenagers to navigate the world that they are a part of".

Again, nail on the head there.

I think we all know that smart phones are bad for everyone , not just kids.

Unfortunately this is where we are, and if we denied my 12 year old one she would be a social pariah with no friends, and mercilessly bullied. We wouldn't have to worry about where she is as she would never get asked to go anywhere.

So, the best we can do is educate, educate , educate!.

And, for all those saying ' my child won't have one' ...yep, just wait until every other member of their class or year has one.

The irony of citing Instagram as a source for the OP is wonderful. Thank you OP 🤣

I agree. Smartphones are completely different because they take them everywhere and always have their noses in them. So many young people are experiencing the real world, and real world interactions, less and less, while they experience everything through a tiny screen.
Then there's the impact of social media and how children are influenced by what they see.

That's ok... my kids aren't the ones being left behind for my misplaced sense of hypocritical morals.

@WasThatACorner

The thing is, you can not get your child a smartphone and they still be exposed to all the same things because other kids have smartphones.

Exactly this. Cigarette sales to children are illegal, but children still smoke (same with alcohol, drugs etc). I remember in the 70s, there was no internet obviously, but porno magazines were still circulating widely in school - brought in by someone with an older sibling who'd legally bought them, but then either borrowed or stolen by the younger sibling to bring into school and pass around! Likewise all the smoking going on in the toilets and behind the bike sheds at break times - teachers clearly knew but chose not to do anything about it!

With smartphones, if the younger sibling doesn't have one, you get bet your bottom dollar an older sibling will let them use theirs, or they'll view things on their friends' phones etc.

Prohibition doesn't work. It's got to be ALL about education and proper parental supervision and control, open communication with children so that they can talk to their parents about anything that's bothering them.

My children are 11 & 9 and they both have a smartphone as they go to school together or the 11 yo goes by himself if the 9 yo does not go for whatever reason. They are both very sensible and don't have social media, although some of their friends do. They do have Whatsapp to contact family members and they have YouTube and Roblox (they can only request/accept requests from their friends). I check their phones regularly and I have had several talks with them explaining why I don't want them having social media and the dangers of people online, and they understand.

100% agree with this.

It's incredibly boring being the mum who watches kids youtube and plays roblox but it is necessary. Screentime doesn't have to mean locked away in a corner on their own, it can be another way to relate to your child.

Oh, give over. Why don't you forego giving your own child a mobile phone and let parents make their own assessment for their own child? I hate these bloody virtuous shout out requests.

@WasThatACorner the effect the actual device has on their brains is significant though. I'm not limiting my kid's access to the world. I just don't think a smartphone is a significant part of the world or a healthy way for my kid to experience it. Bet the social media moderators from Kenya in the news would agree with me.

Helping kids navigate the world they're part of - yep, I'd say making their experience of it less virtual as a huge part of that.

Parents can set boundaries… what they don’t know about phone usage is what they need to be concerned about.

2 of my DC are young adults and 2 older teens so that ship has sailed but both my young adults, whilst seemingly well adjusted and successful, tell me that they wish they hadn’t had phones at 12 and that it was too young to access SM and the like.

I’m quite sure they have both seen things they wish they hadn’t, despite the use of parental controls etc.

smart phones can be used in a negative way or positive way, its up to the parent to set boundaries

Presumably op is an adult?

We're talking about smart phones for children.