MIL constant texting, am I overreacting?

Lots of conflicting opinions as expected on here. All I would say is set your own boundaries, your MIL then has a choice to respect them or take offence. She might be a bit off for a while but hopefully with time she will respect that you message when you have time and want to. If not then it's her loss x

This isn't fair on the OP. It can be very suffocating having someone message you so often. I've already had two messages today already before 9am!!

I'm in my 40s and have never gone a day without hearing from DM and it's extremely suffocating and feels like I've never been allowed to fully "fly the nest".

YABU!
FFS! Mil's can't do anything right on Mumsnet can they! If she wasn't messaging then it would be "new baby and mil not interested, but sees B/Sil children regularly" "baby not sleeping mil not offering help but helps B/Sil"

Tell her as frequent pinging distracts you and disturbs the baby, and as you need to focus on the baby and your day, you keep your phone on do not disturb during the day.

You then check all text and voice messages in a block when it's convenient (not at any particular time, as that will create an expectation), and send one all well message (if you feel like it.)

You say she sends long rambling messages in the evenings - might she be solo drinking?

Just mute it and send pics once a week. She’ll get used to the concept you aren’t online

This is still too much, why should she have to check in every single day? Her husband can’t even be bothered with that. The MIL needs put on a communication diet until she learns some boundaries. She gets a weekly phone call and will be messaged if and when they want to or have something important to say. That’s plenty.

Just get into the routine of responding once only each day. She might initially pester you both, then call (all of which you can ignore) but after a while she will adjust to a once a day message. You could start your message with ‘its been a busy day’ if she is hounding you

Just ignore, ignore calls. Let it go a while then send her a message to say that you appreciate her concern but you are busy trying to parent! Your focus is on being the best mum you can be and you will update her as usual on your weekly phone calls.

If she pushes further put your foot down further. Be honest and say you find the level of communication too much and need her to respect your boundaries. Tell her that if anything is wrong you will let her know, but otherwise she is to assume that everything is fine and give you all some room to breath as a family of 3.

I have a friend who does this - it's constant and l dread to think what sort of a mother in law she will be in future.

Just respond every time with
”Fine, thanks!”

She’ll soon get bored.

To me I think she's trying to bridge the distance between you by messaging. She probably thought it would be really nice to send a message at the beginning and end of the day to show she's thinking about you but has got stuck in the habit. I would ask your husband to communicate with her more regularly, if he gets in first she won't need to message. I don't mean every day though.

Reply when you are ready and keep it short - fine or a thumbs up. Don't answer if she calls and you don't want to talk. If she questions it, say you are busy with the baby and don't have time.

I know it's exhausting. I love my mum, but I'm not going to be at her beck and call. I don't feel guilty either.

I mean you could ask try and be subtle by saying that your phone going off isn’t ideal with settling a baby (even though you do probably have it on do not disturb). Sounds like she may be lonely and anxious… though I have a similar situation though am the daughter around the corner who gets several phone calls all hours of the day about anything and everything 😳 i would ask your husband to talk to her x

Just stop responding to all of her messages and put her on an information diet. Don’t tell her what she doesn’t need to know.

Gosh I could have written this myself. Messages before I've even woken up, some from the morning, sometimes some from the night before as well. Some throughout the day, and again at night. At least three times a day, sometimes double that.

I don't reply anymore. Sounds awful but how can I reply to that many messages? When I don't reply it's then met with a question such as "how's is your day?" Or "how is xxx".

I don't feel guilty for not replying. I phone once a week-ish. DH only speaks to his parents when something needs to be said!

It is infuriating and I did say something many years ago when it blew up and she contacted DB after she had sent me about 40 messages with no reply. I said I would speak to her in a few days... hoping she'd understood the conversation and what I was expecting from then on, nope. That night the messages carried on like nothing had happened!

Is it a direct message to you or the group? Tell DH to do it.

I guess when we are old and live alone we will be in a better place to decide if it's over the top or if we could have done more. If she lives alone and doesn't talk to anyone on a typical day I'm imagining it's pretty depressing and easy to wonder what's the point
Just answer with an all good or thumbs up maybe then a longer message every few days

DH needs to step up and tell her to back off. He could agree to call her once a week.

Surely dh can update her with pics? Op is nurturing a dc not a mil.

Also I’d advise that you keep sending pictures but don’t feel you have to give information. No need really. But the pictures will be special for them to receive.

That’s what controlling partners say. That’s not love.

My mum was like this with me but I didn’t mind and she was being supportive. But there’s a difference between a mother child relationship and an in-law one. I would lock the chat and only check it every 2 days and then reply briefly. Then check it every 3 days etc until you have got it down to a frequency you can cope with.

She sounds like she is trying to support you though! Bear that in mind.