Can anyone shed light on this dynamic?

This. I don't think he likes you very much. Sounds like he wants you to do the dumping for him.

If that's how you feel then it's not a healthy dynamic and you should end the relationship. He sounds abusive and he's trying to silence and control you. Where there comes from, who knows, but you don't owe it to him to try to fix his behaviour. Do yourself a big favour and call it quits.

So dump him today and have a lovely Christmas.

The good news is that he's not a partner as in shared home and finances so it's very simple to separate.

He's already training you to stay quiet and doubt your intelligence. Why would you want to stay and be broken down by his unnecessary tantrums. All of those comments could have been answered very simply without the theatrics.

He doesn't like you. Everything you do annoys him. Tbf your examples make you sound either very young or a little bit dim. You are not compatible.

As regards driving and parking. In our house the rule is that the person who is driving makes the decision on route and car park and space chosen within that car park. If you are not driving you are not choosing. Sit back and enjoy the ride.

It's the not letting it drop part and belittling you with it.

You might say 'that was a bit of a daft question' and laugh about it (together) but no need to bring it up over and over.

I can see a little bit in some of your examples that it might sound like you are questioning his judgement which can be annoying but you handle this by saying 'yes I am on the list, I've checked'. If you then brought it up repeatedly he would have the right to be annoyed but said once, it's unnecessary.

You don't sound very compatible. You like to discuss things and be able to have a conversation. He sees all questions as challenges and not interest.

Urgh. He sounds deranged and like the sort who could turn abusive.
Run.

Being snappy if stressed if perfectly normal and understandable. Banging on about something for an hour is not. I had an ex that did this. Then if i shut up during his tirade I got, "so you don't have anything to say then?". If I said anything it just prolonged the argument. If he's like my ex, whatever you do you can't win. I learned to disengage and just wait for the noise to stop.

Sometimes he'd sulk for days until eventually it was always me that placated him. It builds resentment and I went from being someone who was very confident and bubbly to being scared to have opinions.

We only have your side of the story, at face value he sounds irritable and sensitive, but maybe you are annoying and tone deaf?

You are not living together, so perhaps it would not be too disruptive to break up now before committing further? You don't seem to like him all that much

he's kicking off all the time for no reason, controlling what you can and can't say bu 'punishing you' whenever you step out of line which is abusive. Why are you with him??

So I can see how some of those things may seem a bit obvious eg 1 bag of compost clearly wont do for a set of raised beds.
But if you're not a gardening person, fair enough not to know.
The point here is that his reaction to your questions is very snappy. Even if he thinks the answer is obvious etc he doesn't need to be rude or snappy back on every occasion. Of course we all snap from time to time, and maybe if he was stressed about the medical tests then I can understand he may snap as an example.
But if I'd done that I'd have apologised later when I was less stressed and certainly this seems a pattern. If you ask me OP, he simply doesn't respect your intelligence and views. And that ultimately should be a deal breaker. I remember asking my exH once why he never asked my views on things and he said there was no point as we'd do it his way anyway. Red flag which I failed to pay attention to until years later!
So pay attention to this red flag op.

Very clearly, you have gone from being 'lover' to 'mother' and he resents it. You talk to him like a parent to a child and he responds like a bratty teen. I'm not exactly picking up on romance, lust or love in your dynamic! I'd cut him loose as you don't sound a good fit for one another.

honestly, he’s a dick.

You don't live together so that makes it much easier to finish things.

You shouldn't have to second guess everything you say. Imagine how freeing it will feel to date someone who is capable of talking to you normally.

Just end it. It's just going to get worse as time goes by. His attitude to you sucks.

He is very bad tempered and irritable . Don’t stay with him or you will end up as one of those anxious mealy mouthed women who never says a peep to placate her partner.

The dynamic is that your boyfriend is a dickhead

In all of your examples op, your comments are entirely innocuous. Yes, I can see how some of them might be mildly irritating but NONE of them deserve the reaction you got.
My husband sometimes queries the route I'm taking, do I find it irritating at times? Yes, yes I do. Do I go 'ballistic'? No, I do not. I tell him I know where I'm going and then do my victory 'I told you so' routine when we get there.

So for me, whether or not there is anything wrong with what you're saying is irrelevant, his reaction is absolutely out of order. You should never feel like you're walking on eggshells with a partner.

Read Patricia Evan's 'the emotionally abusive relationship' - she explains this dynamic very clearly. I am sorry that you are with this abusive arsehole but at least you don't live together so it will be easier to end things.

It doesn’t sound as if he actually likes you all that much. Some of these examples are a bit bonkers and you’ll spend your whole life wondering if the next thing you say will set him off.

I have also had scan results on the same day.

Tbh I see some of where he is coming from. Some of those I consider inane and/or redundant questions that would also get my back up. Might seem like making small talk for the sake of it. And assuming reality is your 5 examples x 100 then he might just see it as constant nagging/annoying. Ultimately is sounds like you aren’t compatible.

I'm very glad that you do not live with this man, it makes it so much easier to disentangle yourself from him.

As for "he said that I am always questioning him and his judgement and that I don't trust him and I don't trust that he's handling whatever situation he's in" - frankly, I'm questioning his judgement and thinking that he seems incapable of handling perfectly normal situations without having a hissy fit.

How long have you two been an item, OP?

I've lived with someone like this and you'll drive yourself crazy trying to understand why they are like they are in order to avoid setting them off.

My mother was also like this, I was conditioned from a young age to appease and soothe others to my own detriment.

It shouldn't be that hard.
You sound like a caring decent person, it's not you, it's him.

I have also been told about scans and tests on the day too.

Well I’ve definitely had tests/scans and been told the results straight away! So your question about the scan was very reasonable and one that most people would have asked. His response was obnoxious even if he is worried.