To think this is a really weird thing to do with presents?

We say that one or two main gifts are from Santa, everything else is from us, friends and family. He only has room in his sleigh for one or two toys per child.

I don't understand how saying stockings from Santa works though? When they're little and they visit Santa or someone asks what they're going to ask him for, don't they usually ask for one big thing like a bike or dolls house etc.? That's the gift under the tree that we say is from Santa. DD (6) is getting some sparkly gel pens and Hama beads in her stocking along with a few other small cheap things all under £5. Nothing worth making a trip from the North Pole to deliver!

I think when you make out Santa brings everything it makes finding out Santa isn’t real is more of a big deal. Whereas if it’s just the stocking it’s easier to cope with.

I am amazed by the convoluted narratives built around Father Christmas (I'm not a 'Santa' person). No wonder people get their knickers in a twist about children eventually learning the truth. There must be a significant difference between realising your stocking is actually stuff your parent/s bought for you and learning that EVERYTHING came from a variety of people who were involved in an extended conspiracy for years so you are living in a complete fantasy world which implodes on learning the reality.

I think her taking the tags off others presents and giving credit to Santa is really disrespectful to you and other family who have given things

I understand why you wrote all over it in pen but I bet she will re wrap it.

I would make a point of asking Lucy next time you see her ‘Lucy did you like the pink gloves and pens I gave you?’

even when mine were babies I sent thank you cards from them. Starting with a photo of them with the toy and gradually over the years becoming handprint or art work or a wobbly ‘Lucy’ written st the bottom of a card until they could write their own.

we always opened presents from others with a notebook at hand so I could write down ‘aunt sally - football’ , ‘nana - cardigan and playmobil horses’ etc… as I wanted to thank them as well as getting my child to say thank you as it is generous to give to others and polite to express thanks.

i understand everyone does Santa differently but relabelling and not acknowledging a gift from someone is just plain rude in my opinion.

We are due our first next month and DH recently revealed that he comes from an “all presents are from Santa” family 😨. I come from a stocking from Santa and maybe one pressie under the tree from Santa, but everything else from the gift givers. I am hoping I can campaign for my way as it just feels much better logically. And also way less of a hassle than having to hide every present in the house until Christmas morning! Surely just on the basis of logistics/storage/risk of discovery it’s easier if you can keep most presents under the tree through December.

I think you’ve got the wrong understanding of what most people mean when they say credit in the context of giving gifts to loved ones. People want “credit” for gifts because they want the recipient to know they put that effort in because that effort has a feeling and intent behind it.

Of course I want my nieces and nephews to know I took the time to go pick them out a gift because I did that out of a desire to show them I care and want to see them happy. They can’t receive that message of affection if they don’t know who it’s from. And thanks or other shows of appreciation tell us that the message is being received - our effort to show our love is working.

It’s the same underlying reason posters are often so hurt when their partners can’t be arsed to buy a decent gift for them. Not being willing to spend that time/money/effort can make people feel you don’t care.

That’s what we do now! We grew up with Santa as delivery man, and luckily DH grew up with much the same system so we slotted together nicely.

I think I’d be getting the most inappropriate gifts I could lay my hands on. Crochet your own dildo? Indelible ink calligraphy?

In my house everything comes from Santa. I’m from Spain and that’s how we do it in there as well. My son still thanks those that got him the present “nanny asked this for you to Santa”
xmas magic is a few years only to me telling you I bought you this rather than Santa breaks the magic.

but each to their own. I don’t think there is right or wrong

Our daughter says thank you to the right people for every present, unless those people are not there, and then we write to say thanks on their behalf because they aren't up to a whole letter yet. I don't want my child growing up thinking presents are some natural right that magically fall out of the sky.
I also don't want my DC to be "that kid" who inadvertently makes less fortunate classmates feel bad because Santa gave mine a pile of lovely things and didn't get those other kids much. So ours gets a very modest stocking from Father Christmas, and the bigger stuff all comes from family.

That is taking the Santa myth several steps too far. It's ridiculous. I assume the children aren't under the age of two?

Honestly, words fail me.

I also think it’s important that children understand why some people get an Xbox and some people get a bar of chocolate.
Especially with the whole naughty or nice thing - I’d hate to think of children thinking they were naughty because they didn’t get much.

She doesn't own her family.

If someone wants to give a gift to her child to symbolise their connection with that child, that's not really actually anything to do with her.

She doesn't have the right to swoop in and take that gift and pretend it's from someone else.

It does matter about being acknowledged. I know you don't give to receive, but it's nice to be acknowledged. I used to buy presents for friends' children. The ones that never said thank you didn't get them after a couple of years. Maybe they were told they were from Santa, or maybe they got so much stuff that my little gift was unappreciated, I don't know, but the end result was the same.

but it is her family

If I buy someone a gift then I want them to know it's from me. That's not 'being obstructive' it's just that I have chosen a special thing for someone and wrapped it up for them, to communicate that I love them and care for them.

Taking it away and labelling it as 'from Santa' completely detracts from the value of the gift as a way for me to communicate my love for the child. They already have loads of presents in a pile 'from Santa' so what is the point in adding mine?

The whole point of gift giving is that it strengthens relationships and connection.

If the mum wants to do Santa then she should, but it's not fair to chuck presents that other people have lovingly chosen onto a big 'Santa' pile.

That seems totally materialistic to me and I think actually quite selfish - if mum wants the Santa pile to be bigger then she should buy more presents for it.

Presents from relatives and friends are a separate thing. Kids can have both.

Gifts are a way of communicating - the message in this case is “I love and care for you and so I found and brought you something that I think you’ll enjoy.” Children especially should get these tangible reminders that adults and others in their lives love them and value making them happy.

If this is the way people saw it, I'd agree entirely. (It's how I see it and I don't mind if I don't get effusive formal thank-yous). But on here it's often all about 'I'm not putting all the money and effort in to not get the credit'. The phrase comes from the 'givers' themselves.

In every film about Father Christmas he tends to fill stockings or give one gift. The quickest way to lose the magic is to start wondering why Santa brings you 20+ presents but all of your friends just get one! All families do it differently but to believe santa brings all of your presents is a lot more unrealistic than him bringing just one!

We do that in our family, I have no children but nieces and nephews...while they still believe its all from santa, its only lasts until they're about 7 or 8. And they still facetime me and I see how excited they are about whatever father Christmas brought them and I think uhhhh they mentioned mine, got it right!! The older ones just quietly ask auntie.. was so and so from you? And then thank me

I don't think there's much, in the way of adult egotism, to choose between an insistence on Santa belief/Santa 'magic' at all costs and the absolute need to 'get the credit' or the 'appreciation' (from children!) for gifts, which I'm seeing increasingly on here. The first post nailed it in my view - unreasonableness all round.

Tbh I actually do think it's wrong if someone spends their money on your child and you pretend it was someone else (even if the someone else is a mythical being!)

If you buy a child a gift and want them to know it was from you, then they should.

Only the stockings were from Father Christmas, and the rest were from the people who brought them so the children could appreciate who they were from. They knew this because FC has his own special wrapping paper with his face on!
Just a touch of suspicion when they were slightly older and someone used the paper for some other presents!

That's really well put. And you're exactly right. It's not about credit but everything you have said.

My mum, and me, Santa only does the stocking - all the presents come from people.

Both because I don't see why Santa should get the credit, and because that way they understand why the gifts are what they are.

Santa should be able to get anything so why on earth did I get this horrible jumper? Doesn't make sense, where as Aunt Meg always gives you socks 2 sizes too big so you can grow into them is entirely believable because it's true.