To think this is a really weird thing to do with presents?

You’re not exactly disagreeing with me… I have the same POV as you, I just respect that my SIL wants to do things differently and that’s her prerogative.

Nothing wrong with a text or phone call either. But not very practical for a 3 year old.

I suppose I don't consider thank you letters to be the mark of good manners- as an adult I never send them (but would thank people in other ways). Am I an uncivilised heathen, or do we just not live in Victorian times anymore and have other ways to communicate?

I think it's weird but I'm not keen on the Santa narrative anyway and wouldn't care if my child never believed in "the magic". I think kids should know who gave them gifts and who to thank.

I wouldn't write in sharpie though. They'll probably just put a sticker over it or something. I'd give it directly to the child when I saw them.

The presents you got Your grandparents asked Santa for them.

thars what I tell my child. Think adults think more about this than kids

You didn’t. But this is a British forum. I assume many of the posters writing in this thread about 2 piles will be British as I know it’s quite embedded in the tradition. Pointing out that those that have one pile will be brought up as not appreciating others , as another poster has pointed to you, it’s a bit bonkers. Appreciation is not only on Christmas Day, in fact I find Christmas Day quite fake … put your happy face and pretend you love this present and that you’re going to give to the next charity shop. Christmas Day for me it’s becoming fake and commercial and to hide your feelings to make others happy. I guess you’re right , because I only had one pile (I even had 2 Christmas days as that’s part of our culture) I’ve grown up as a rude adult

Yes we did that too when the DC were too young to sign their names. But as soon as they were old enough to understand they put a mark on the piece of paper with the picture - it’s never too early to teach good manners.

Yes that is exactly what will happen. I'd give your Bil and SiL a heads up as they might want to let Grandparents gift be from them.

Of course not, but their parents probably do- every child I know who I get a gift for, their parent sends me a pic of them with/wearing/playing with it along with a thanks and that is good enough for me, would much rather that than a letter.

Yes, imagine the DC at school hearing other Grandparents and Aunties and Uncles bought other DC gifts and they think their Grandparents and Auntie and Uncle didn't care enough to buy them anything. I think it's a bad idea not to acknowledge gifts from gifters and thank them.

Sorry, I don’t understand. Where did I mention being British?

I’m well travelled and in my experience all cultures give, and appreciate the giving, of gifts.

Oh and now I think of it the first few years I was with my partner, his family didn’t want to even acknowledge I existed, all the lovely gifts we picked together for the babies/toddlers had the tags removed as my DP wrote my name too. Then the children were told they are from your uncle. Very very hurtful 😰

If you mean I should lighten up, why be rude?

Everyone’s entitled to an opinion. I’ve observed that kids brought up without manners, tend to become pretty self-indulgent, ill-mannered adults. And not many people enjoy relationships with them, compared with caring, thoughtful people.

And you obvs don’t teach it on Xmas Day. That’s for fun. But it’s the main time kids receive gifts and there’s a whole month of chilly January to thank people in. What do kids do in January otherwise?

And society won’t crumble, it just it becomes more selfish and uncaring.

This is what I do too. I give the big gift from me and other things I buy to go in stocking are from Santa but anybody who buys DC a gift puts a gift card on it and DC will write a thank gifted in person if possible or on phone but still write out thank you note and post it.

Yes very weird children should know who gave them the gift to say thank you.

Put a note inside write on the box or if you give a book write a special message inside for the recipient I do that anyway as my Nan used to for me.

I remember being about 7 and excitedly showing my nan how much I loved the dog she bought me for Christmas but it was quite clear that she had never seen the dog before. I was hurt, I can't explain why. I guess because it went from something that was thoughtfully picked to just a toy. What I didn't know but now know was she had dementia and was reliant on carers and family for most things including gift buying.

In my house father Christmas brought the presents sent to him from family once he had checked you were on the good list. My partner did stocking from father Christmas and everything else from family. We have an advent calendar with a larger drawer for Christmas day so father Christmas is control of that and leaves a chocolate each day in the appropriate drawer and a few little things on Christmas day. 3 of 4 Christmases we have been at my in laws and the one year we haven't she was too young for father Christmas. With my family this has been fine as father Christmas delivers the present so of course all presents from my family will be taken down with us to be open in one go on Christmas day. This year we are at home with the in-laws coming up between Christmas and new year. They were shocked that I wanted my daughter to get all of her presents on Christmas day and not do presents from my partners family after Christmas.

All families do something different its a balancing act to integrate everyone's traditions. Gift giving is sharing a moment, it says I see you. I don't buy many gifts but I try to spend time on each one and I would be hurt if the label was removed from my present. I think I would be less hurt if the label was kept on the present but the child still told father Christmas gave all the presents. I try to write a note to everyone who sends my daughter a present and mention whether she plays with it when I see them. For aunts and uncles I send a photo or get the toy out when they visit or their family - so the respective grandparents to the aunt/uncle that bought the gift. I would do this even if I hadn't told them who had bought it so they can share a moment and the gift giver can get acknowledgement through that moment that their gift was happily received and is being enjoyed

Yes because Christmas day is the only possible opportunity to teach kids about gratitude or manners or appreciating things apparently... Not birthdays or meals out or random "aunt Linda got you this from her holiday" or anything like that.

All families must do Christmas day a certain way lest their 3 year old turn into an entitlement brat and uncle Fred feels deeply hurt that although the parents said thank you, he didn't receive sufficient credit from the the very small child on this one day of the year. Society will crumble.

Seriously people need to lighten up and enjoy their Christmas and let others enjoy theirs.

Each to their own, of course.

IMHO if people give money for toddlers, they’re basically asking you to do their Xmas shopping and wrapping for them, as a toddler usually prefers a gift to unwrap rather than choosing their own.

So, no need to thank them for the thoughtful gift, as there isn’t one. You’re only thanking them for giving you the money to buy and wrap it for them.

My ex MIL used to do this. It drove me crazy. She was retired and in good health. Regularly travelled and went out, booked and ordered things online. Yet, showed so little interest in her GCs she clearly didn’t have any idea what to get them (and never thought to ask). Or, frankly, couldn’t be arsed. For years, she’d thrust money on me when she knew I was run ragged with work, caring for 3 young kids and housework. I struggled to sort my own gifts! But apparently, she expected me to buy and wrap hers too. After a few years of it, I told her to give the money to my ex (her son) if she wanted someone to do her shopping for her.

When my DC were toddlers, I wrote the thank you cards and they wrote their name. That’s why we sent cards when they were little, as they couldn’t send texts. It instilled in them from an early age the manners to say thanks. We often used to make the cards as a little craft activity in Jan. They loved making them, sticking on stamps and posting them in the box.

I suppose that thank you letters are a thing of the past

Personally, for me, it would be the family member’s mistake to make. I’d leave it to Santa to buy presents - nothing from Auntie Myrtle for Christmas , I’m afraid.

My brother in laws partner is Lithuanian & apparently this is quite common there.
(Or at least that's what she tells us). She has an older child & they have a little one together & any presents I have for them here have to be signed from Santa & the kids are told Santa left them in my house for them.
I think it's ridiculous as like everyone says, how do the kids then thank the various relatives & friends that give them presents. But I do it because that's what they want & who am I to argue.

Growing up & with my own kids too, it was always Santa brought everything Christmas morning. Nothing was from parents. But any other gifts they got from others they knew they were from them & they thanked them appropriately.

I disagree that it's mot wrong. It's wrong to take presents gifted by someone and pretend they are from someone else. And it's wrong not to teach your child gratitude by asking thank you to the gift giver.

Plenty of magic can happen with a selection of presents attributed to Santa.

Oh no! That’s awful! The children wouldn’t get the opportunity to thank their kind relatives and it sounds like a cop out for the parents as they wouldn’t have to buy much stuff! Part of the joy of Christmas growing up was opening gifts from relatives and writing thank you letters.

And I guarantee you it makes absolutely zero difference to your child's enjoyment of Christmas whether all their stuff says from Santa or only half of it does or whatever. This is purely a parental thing for whatever reason. Parents tying themselves in knots to try and capture this mystical 'magic' that is just inherent at Christmas anyway for young children, no matter what absurd lengths you to go to hammer it home.

Tell her Father Christmas can source them then.