To think this is a really weird thing to do with presents?

How old are the kids? If they are above toddler age, do they ever wonder why no one in their extended family buys them gifts?

I’ll be honest that I would have thoughts of not giving a gift if the parent insisted on doing this. Or I’d probably do an informal voucher to take them to do something fun instead.

People talk about “getting credit” in a derisive way like you’re being selfish, but it’s the opposite in my opinion. Gifts are a way of communicating - the message in this case is “I love and care for you and so I found and brought you something that I think you’ll enjoy.” Children especially should get these tangible reminders that adults and others in their lives love them and value making them happy.

Santa magic is great, but kids can have Santa magic and gifts from people around them. Getting a gift from their auntie doesn’t take away from the magic of Santa one little bit. If a parent is truly struggling to fund the Santa portion then I’d rather give them some cash to help with that and still provide a gift from me.

How incredibly rude and self centred for parents to ask this of gift givers! Of course it's unreasonable - presents should be acknowledged and appreciation shown to the giver. Utterly bonkers behaviour. Give wthe the gift directly to the child when you see them in person.

Of it bothers you that much that you need credit and gratitude from the child for the presents you purchase then maybe don't bother. Depending on the kids age they may not be bothered about who they are from.

For a child young enough to believe santa brings everything, they won't be old enough to write a thank you letter so that's a moot point... the thank you would surely come from a parent?

ETA... I always preferred Santa bringing one gift, or the stocking as a lot more believable anyway. How else would he fit them all on the sleigh and helps explain disparity in income.

Don't buy anything til the child is older, sorted.

I'd also say that those who were asked "is it ok we say this is from Santa?" Didn't know what the fuck to say other than ok as they were put in the spot.

"Isn't it better that your kid believes in magic" no I don't want them living in wonderland, completely unaware of how the world works.

This thread happens every year. I think it's a pretty shitty thing to do. I know we don't give for credit and the like but if I've taken the time to think of a gift, I want the recipient to know it's from me. A family member of mine did this and people stopped gifting or made it clear the one wrapped like this was from them and not Santa which again is a weird behaviour. It makes me think the parents are just not understanding how gifts work and I think it's quite rude and disrespectful.

Don't be sorry you shared it was sensible advice

There are really two separate questions here: 1)Is this weird of the parents and 2)AIBU?

Yes, technically to both. In theory you should respect the parents' wishes, even though it's stupid of them. However, if you've made up your mind to flout the parents, then your writing on the package is a clever solution. You're perfectly reasonable to want to be acknowledged.

There's also nothing wrong with talking about it politely to the parents: "You know, we spend time and effort, as well as money, picking out presents for Winnie and Clem, and we find it very disturbing that they would grow up not understanding our generously thinking of them." If you really want to twist the knife, you could add, "We are really bothered by this, so I think we're going to start skipping the Christmas presents and just concentrate on the birthday presents."

Its really not, for me or my relatives 🤣. We are all good, no drama or money saving here. But I wish you all the best.

I tried to share experience here around my first Christmases as a first time mum and exposed my thought process. Anyway. We are derailed and to be honest I'm sorry I shared.

This is a money saving device on behalf of the parents though. How can the relatives that give gifts not see this?

My 6 year old did not need to write a thank you for his presents from Santa. They do write thank you's for birthday gifts. Etc

You're point is moot, they believed that Santa was bringing them the presents and all of my family were ok with his belief. Hence why they did not expect a thank you card. They were also willing to try and make it magical.

As I said, this was not the right way to go about things, and I would advise new parents to do a stocking from Santa ( and separate gifts from people who have given).

Fat man in red never took credit for the love family sent or the hard work I put in.

Santa brought one big gift and stocking stuffers, but kids always knew other gifts came from loved ones.

When they were little they never cared either way, but as they got older the stockings got smaller and family gifts got bigger so the emphasis was on gifts given from us and family.

Well if all the gifts come from Santa, there's no need for you to buy any.

Probably explains why you never get a thank you letter.

So does the kid never write thank you letters then?

Height of rudeness.

God I wish I had had that insight at the time. I was so excited for my very precious only born (and he was very precious, it's a long story), that I did in fact insist that Santa brought all the presents. I was so lucky (or not) that family played along. Santa got all the credit, which was not a problem for me or family, but of course it does build an expectation and I had to let him down, when the time was right (which would have been so much easier if I'd said stocking from Santa and presents from others). It's fine now but really really, I would advise new parents to do Santa from stocking and all other presents given by the giver!

You could double wrap your presents with “ From auntie X” written in different coloured pens all over the inner layer ( just to make it look pretty and drive the point home to parents)

I actually think its quite rude. The gift is being given by somebody and parents shouldn't repurpose it for their own weird narrative.

This is what we do. I find it weird when parents are like boo hoo why does Santa get all the credit I need my validation 😭

But to be honest OP I’d just make sure you give the gift directly to the child. Don’t give them it for Xmas morning.

hmm, we did everything from Santa for a few years when they were tiny because we had one grandparent who insisted on buying the biggest, most expensive gift - which wouldn't be so bad but then lorded it over everyone. Luckily kids were babies/tiny, so didn't really understand, but it created a lot of ill feelings with other family members. After a couple of years of Santa getting the credit, they finally listened to us and stopped (all be it, they just shifted their poor behaviour to something else 🙄) After that, we reverted back to Santa gave stockings only and gifts being from who ever gave them.

I guess what I'm saying is before you totally judge just check if there isn't something else going on.

How dropped on will that kid feel when they find out Santa isn’t real? Lunacy

Gifts should definitely be acknowledged, yes.

I'd be putting a tag inside too! That's really, really cheeky. They should also be thanking folk for gifts.

That’s one way of opting out of Thank You letters.