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Original poster

Baby keeps coming home covered in food

38 replies

HazelBalonz · 19/12/2024 20:37

My 10 month old baby keeps coming home from her fathers covered in food

Before anyone starts I understand that babys and kids get messy/dirty.

What is really frustrating me is I pack about 3 bibs, 2 of which are food bibs, so they are bigger and waterproof/silicone.

The food bibs are CLEARLY not being used. As the stains on my baby's clothes are right on her chest area where the bib would be covering.

I've already brought this up a few times with her father and he laughs it off & says sorry. He says he feeds the baby on his lap as he doesn't have a high chair at his. I've suggested he sits her on the floor and sits on the floor with her and feed her (not on carpet obviously)

The food stains are not coming out of her clothes no matter what I use in the washing machine. It's so frustrating, baby clothes aren't cheap anymore!

It's got to the point that I might start sending her to his house in an old/already stained baby grow

OP posts:
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Original poster
HazelBalonz · 20/12/2024 15:50

And to anyone that has mentioned CM I actually had a lovely letter today saying ill be entitled to £6.80 a week off him

It's pathetic but it'll help out I guess

OP posts:
Original poster
HazelBalonz · 20/12/2024 15:49

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 20/12/2024 11:02

What an absolute waster. Have you made a CMS application? Is he claiming benefits while working cash in hand?

I would think he could pick up a high chair and other baby stuff free or cheap from Facebook. He’s clearly too lazy to bother. I don’t think I’d help him with this. I would send her in stained clothes.

I was at one point helping with EVERYHING and not getting a penny help off him, I had to put a stop to it

I was sending baby over there with milk formula, food, wipes, nappys etc

And what's funny is now I don't do a that, he manages to do it himself

Makes me angry for helping him for so long!!

But relieved that bbay is being looked after over there at least

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 20/12/2024 11:02

What an absolute waster. Have you made a CMS application? Is he claiming benefits while working cash in hand?

I would think he could pick up a high chair and other baby stuff free or cheap from Facebook. He’s clearly too lazy to bother. I don’t think I’d help him with this. I would send her in stained clothes.

RabbitsEatPancakes · 20/12/2024 10:53

Gosh, stop sending clothes and bibs. He's not going to childcare, he's going to his other parent.

Dad needs to out his hand in his pocket, he should be sending him back with extra supplies given he's not paying CM!

If his relatives complain he's in bad/ stained clothes then just say its a shame dad doesn't care enough.

bigkidatheart · 20/12/2024 08:53

baking soda and water - make it into a paste and put on the stains, leave for a while and should pull them out, i use it all the time on my sons t-shirts (although he is 25 but loves a curry!)

VivaVivaa · 20/12/2024 08:38

crumblingschools · 20/12/2024 08:31

@VivaVivaa or she could signpost her ex so he could actually do something about it

I mean yea, totally agree. He sounds so totally useless though I’d be tempted to ensure he has no comback once and for all. ‘You have your bag of clothes, don’t send them home to me’

crumblingschools · 20/12/2024 08:31

@VivaVivaa or she could signpost her ex so he could actually do something about it

VivaVivaa · 20/12/2024 08:29

It's so frustrating, baby clothes aren't cheap anymore!

There are masses of second hand baby clothes online. I often see bundles of baby clothes on FB marketplace free for collection or a tiny price. You could get a free bundle, leave it at his and not make this your problem anymore. If his family don’t like what’s on offer they can stump up their own cash for new stuff!

Original poster
HazelBalonz · 20/12/2024 08:19

No cms as he works cash in hand

He goes threw stages of giving me money, so fwr I haven't had a penny for about 10 weeks

He bought a pack of nappys and wipes yesterday tho 👏

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 20/12/2024 08:16

Please say he is paying CMS.

I would cut down the spare clothes you provide, hopefully fired him to do laundry or buy new ones

Original poster
HazelBalonz · 20/12/2024 08:06

Morning, no dad does not do laundry

If I'm being honest it was only up until 2-3 weeks ago I was packing him a bag with baby food, formula, nappys & wipes until I put a stop to that

I still have to pack a bag with spare clothes, bibs, and an empty bottle or 2 tho

OP posts:
TheCatterall · 20/12/2024 01:31

Maybe old clothes with a loving hand embroidered (marker..) message on them.. ‘I’m wearing this as daddy can’t fathom out using a bib..’. Should make it clear to his family why she’s in stained clothing @HazelBalonz ;)

crumblingschools · 20/12/2024 01:18

If relatives complain about stained clothes they can buy and wash a new set. Does dad do laundry?

MathsMum3 · 20/12/2024 01:15

First point: For sure, send you daughter in old/stained clothes. She's only 10 months old so definitely won't care, and your ExDP doesn't seem to mind also, so not a problem for anyone.

Second point: Does he keep spare clothes for your DD at his place? A bit of food on a babygrow not a problem, but what happens when she has a poo tsumani? Does he change her clothes then? A bit gross if not. Surely he should be responsible for some of her laundry and have spare clothes for those inevitable accidents? In which case, he could also launder her food-stained clothes.

Charliecatpaws · 20/12/2024 00:56

Buy him a high chair off DD as his Christmas present?
Ace gentle bleach is very good on stains but usually new stains on the first wash.
I feel your pain OP my ex was totally useless too

Berthatydfil · 20/12/2024 00:54

Vanish bar or fairy green soap (probably any hard non cosmetic hand soap) rubbed in hard over the dampened stained areas is good for lifting stains.
Agree that you should just send her in stained clean outfits for the forseeable. If you get comments about it just say - you dont use a bib so what do you expect me to do buy a new outfit every time she comes to you?

DreamTheMoors · 20/12/2024 00:44

HazelBalonz · 19/12/2024 21:32

Thanks everyone, makes sense to just dress her in clothes I'm not to bothered about, or the already stained clothes when she goes to her dad's

No doubt I'll have his family making comments about how I've dressed her tho

You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone.

Stop caring what other people think about your life and your actions and your words. In particular, your ex’s family. They have absolutely no bearing on the life you lead.

If they’re so petty that they’d comment on the clothes that your EX stained, f—k’em. Listen to the positive people in your life.
Positivity brings joy and happiness and sunlight into your life.
What does negativity bring? Nothing but tears and self-doubt and remorse.
You’re a darn sight better than that, I just know it.
Keep being the good mum everybody knows you to be.
Let them wallow in pettiness and guff and smallness.
You’ll always be the better person, won’t you.
Yessirree.

RabbitsEatPancakes · 20/12/2024 00:12

I would be much more annoyed abou this feeding her on his lap.

He needs a high chair.
And I'd just send her in the stained clothes. Actually I'd be changing her and handing the dirty clothes back to him to wash. Maybe sens him a link to a full sleeved bib, he can buy and keep at his. Like a bibado or something.

Original poster
HazelBalonz · 20/12/2024 00:11

redastherose · 20/12/2024 00:02

My eldest used to be looked after by my exH's aunt while we both worked. She did us a massive favour doing so but wouldn't use the bibs in her changing bag. I couldn't complain so she was sent in the already stained clothes. I occasionally got comments about only sending her in stained old clothes but I wasn't going to waste anymore new clothes.

This is exactly what I'm going to start doing, and I already know I will get comments made about it aswell like you did

OP posts:
redastherose · 20/12/2024 00:02

My eldest used to be looked after by my exH's aunt while we both worked. She did us a massive favour doing so but wouldn't use the bibs in her changing bag. I couldn't complain so she was sent in the already stained clothes. I occasionally got comments about only sending her in stained old clothes but I wasn't going to waste anymore new clothes.

Original poster
HazelBalonz · 19/12/2024 23:25

Endofyear · 19/12/2024 22:18

Why doesn't he just buy a high chair?

That would be the best idea lol

OP posts:
Endofyear · 19/12/2024 22:18

Why doesn't he just buy a high chair?

Original poster
HazelBalonz · 19/12/2024 21:32

Thanks everyone, makes sense to just dress her in clothes I'm not to bothered about, or the already stained clothes when she goes to her dad's

No doubt I'll have his family making comments about how I've dressed her tho

OP posts:
Itsfreezingbutpretty · 19/12/2024 21:17

I dressed DC in orange tops when I could find them at that age. bit annoying he’s not even trying but I guess you have to choose your battles.

Lemonadeand · 19/12/2024 21:12

FutureFry · 19/12/2024 20:49

I've got to admit, I find bibs a total faff and my 12 month old always rips them off right away (has done since we started weaning), so I don't use them either.

She gets messy. I don't think it's a big deal TBH, as long as she's clean and her clothes are clean when she's going out, or going for a sleep.

This was us, too. Both grandmothers were horrified. I figured their clothes get a bit stained: so what? They grow out of them very quickly anyway. We got them second hand in the first place. Why does it matter?

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