Boyfriend/Girlfriend Invitation Etiquette

Then next Boxing Day do a buffet style get together so it’s not too formal and everyone can join in ❤️

I wouldn’t invite my nephews GF/BF to a family event if they are just in 6th form.

your own kids partners is up to you.

I am always led by my child- some want the BF/GF included early on others keep them hidden for ages!
as a previous GF who didn’t have a great Family
life I was so delighted to be invited to all my BF( now DH) family events from early on
the only error I made was adding them
to family what’s app groups - nightmare when they break up!!

Just get an extra folding table, put a Christmas cloth on it and either put it on the end or nearby. That’s what we do . Just a cheap camping table is fine

BFs/GFs have always been welcomed to family events by us, parents and In-laws. I wouldn’t want anyone to be left out. If there isn’t enough room at the table to squeeze everyone in then we do something a bit less formal. I’m sure MIL wouldn’t expect to eat around the dining table if you were having picky bits.

Perhaps grandma needs sorting a bit. Whose table is it anyway? Just be grateful he brings gf home and go with that. You may need an extra table at some stage,we did! Brill!

I always invite

Oh so you are aware that it is YOUR house then? Unsure why you are letting MIL dictate anything in YOUR house. How ridiculous,

I think it’s fine to invite BF/GF to Christmas dinner as long as it’s a fairly long term relationship (6 months plus). Not like my bil (OH brother) who several times invited his Christmas Eve one night stands to dinner and my in laws let him! Super awkward….
As for mil, who put her in charge? Is she the host? If she’s not happy for people to not sit at the table (ridiculous) then maybe it’s time to change your plans.

Borrow an extra table, maybe a folding table the more the merrier.

in my early 20s for context
met my bf when we went away to uni 18 years old) first Xmas we spent it with our families, 2nd Xmas I told my parents (X is spending Xmas with us) and they didn’t really have much to say, other than he’s very welcome and that they love his company. This year I was with his family. But, by the time I brought him to my Xmas (just me and parents!) I’d already been on four of his family holidays (mine don’t travel due to commitments with pets).
BUT bf and I live together, study together, and even work together- so for me, I hate being separated from him for days at a time, so XMAS isn’t enjoyable if my partner isn’t there with me.

i think it’s nice that you and your hubby are being the thoughtful enough to be happy to include her - shows you care a lot about your nephew and what he wants. Lots of families don’t do anything on Boxing Day so absolutely not rude or presumptuous to let that part of your family know she is welcome, but absolutely no expectation to accept and come!

1. Invite her if you have space and you’d like to see her
2. Feel free to host whatever type of dinner you want, MIL can stay away if it bothers her so much.
3. Don’t worry about precedents, you can adapt to changes in family dynamics (don’t become MIL and expect things to stay the same forever!)

I would say around 6 months onwards and serious they get an invite. Tough if others don't agree

If this is at your house then your MIL has absolutely ZERO say in who sits where. I'd invite the GF and tell MIL to put up or shut up. I've been with my DH for 11yrs (married 5) and spent the first 3 or 4 years pandering to his family and then one day I was just done. My house, my guests, my rules. Don't like it don't come.

I invited my DD's 17 year old boyfriend to Xmas dinner this year, his mum was working in the hospital and he was going to be home alone all day. We had 19 for dinner and whether or not there was space I would still have invited him and any of my other kdis partners.

No. Far too young and far too far removed from you.

If it were your dc, and she were used to popping in and out of your house and was comfortable with that and your immediate family, that would be different.

If it were a NYE party, where people mingle, and the youngsters would naturally gravitate in the one room. That would be different.

If it were a BBQ in your garden in the Summer, that would be different.

But squashing everyone in to a formal meal, no. Don't get involved.

I would just tell your nephew he's welcome to bring his girlfriend and leave it up to him/her, no pressure to attend as she could well be busy with her own family things on Boxing Day. I also wouldn't be letting MIL dictate seating arrangements in your own home. It's quite acceptable for teens to sit at another table or in the lounge for food if you're tight on space.

I don't think it's likely someone that age would invite a BF or GF for Christmas? I can see it if a bit older in a committed relationship, or if the girl or boy's family lived abroad or something.
Your MIL has no say here, though I too would want everyone at the same table! Has this lad asked if he can bring her? Has your sister/brother or whatever parent of this nephew asked?
Once numbers get unruly then it will just have to be more along the lines of some other halves this year some the next, though I expect your relatives will be going to their partners' families (or hosting their own) not just always going to yours.

My DS is 18, his GF is coming to us for Christmas. They have been together 6 months, however her family is Eastern European and celebrate orthodox Christmas so she isn’t missing a family celebration and he will join them for theirs in January.

I'd always just offer a plus one to teens. It may be their b/gf or just a mate. Simply as it can seem more appealing to them if they know they've got someone their age to talk to/sneak out for a smoke with etc.
They can choose who they bring. If they want to come alone then fine. But unless they've been together for a year plus and the gf is very close then I'd not necessarily invite them by name.
Once they're 18 plus, working etc. you'd get more of a semblance of inviting their partner specifically.

If she’s 16 surely she’ll be having dinner with her own family? Maybe invite her for drinks/movie/games/whatever in the evening.

Although some of these responses make it clear why my poor brother’s GF thought she wasn’t invited to Christmas this year, despite attending Christmas last year and going to every family event including weddings in the three years they have been together because my mum hadn’t explicitly invited her. My own DH explained to her that as a partner of one of us “kids” they are literally always invited to everything!

I agree she should be invited but I wouldn’t necessarily expect her to accept.

It really doesn’t have to be a big deal.

Hey SIL - if DN wants to invite GF for Boxing Day that’s cool - let us know if she wants to join us.

And then leave it up to your nephew to invite her. He might not want to but he will probably appreciate the option. Some families do nothing at all on Boxing Day and if she is nice I don’t see the harm.

My own nephew is 16 and if he has a GF I expect my parents etc would leave an open invitation to her to attend any family gatherings.