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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell MIL to stop?

40 replies

MotherOfOlafs · 19/12/2024 15:31

MIL is obsessed with cats, though she won’t have one herself for various reasons (lives too near a main road, goes on holiday a few times a year, etc). Recently she’s started letting a new neighbours cat come into her home, it started in the summer when she would have the bifold doors open, and she seems to have grown quite attached. She’s now taken to buying cat food/treats and calling to it when it passes through the garden, letting it in and feeding it, and ‘accidentally’ keeping it in her home for most of the day, once it was overnight! I’ve spoken to her about it but she seems to think it’s funny and that she and this cat have bonded. She says she will keep letting it in as it wants to be close to her. I’m not sure what to do about it, we live about 30 mins away so I don’t know the neighbours in question (not that I think she does either). I don’t want her to get in trouble either.

OP posts:
JingleB · 19/12/2024 16:25

People who do this are irresponsible and no real lover of animals. They put their own selfishness first.

Original poster
MotherOfOlafs · 19/12/2024 16:23

Strawbsss · 19/12/2024 16:16

My cat was taken in by a cat hoarder down my road.

She rarely came home because she was being fed there. When Storm Darragh hit, the person clearly let her out in it (which I would never do) and she was hit by a car and passed away outside my house. It was horrendous and I blame that man.

If she had been home I wouldn't have let her out in that horrendous weather.

I feel very strongly about people who do this 😭

That’s awful so sorry to hear that x

OP posts:
Strawbsss · 19/12/2024 16:16

My cat was taken in by a cat hoarder down my road.

She rarely came home because she was being fed there. When Storm Darragh hit, the person clearly let her out in it (which I would never do) and she was hit by a car and passed away outside my house. It was horrendous and I blame that man.

If she had been home I wouldn't have let her out in that horrendous weather.

I feel very strongly about people who do this 😭

Original poster
MotherOfOlafs · 19/12/2024 16:10

ObtuseMoose · 19/12/2024 16:07

What an odd stretch.
I don't think you need to do anything about it, why is it bothering you so much? A lot of cats decide where they're going to spend their time, people should keep them indoors if they don't want that to happen.

Show quote history

It bothers me as locking someone else’s pet purposefully in your home is wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
MotherOfOlafs · 19/12/2024 16:08

DaisyChain505 · 19/12/2024 16:04

I would personally tell her to let the owners know that their cat visits her

They might get worried when their cat isn’t coming home over night etc

or it could have a medical condition meaning it’s on specific food

She says she doesn’t know the neighbours well enough to speak to, honestly the woman is infuriating!

OP posts:
ObtuseMoose · 19/12/2024 16:07

tiptoesfirst · 19/12/2024 15:55

I think it's really wrong for her to do this. What if this cat is the best friend of a disabled child and she's pinching it? She needs to get her hands off and get her own cat.

What an odd stretch.
I don't think you need to do anything about it, why is it bothering you so much? A lot of cats decide where they're going to spend their time, people should keep them indoors if they don't want that to happen.

MissDoubleU · 19/12/2024 16:07

DaisyChain505 · 19/12/2024 16:04

I would personally tell her to let the owners know that their cat visits her

They might get worried when their cat isn’t coming home over night etc

or it could have a medical condition meaning it’s on specific food

Also this, yes. It’s very important not to feed random cats because A) you’re teaching it to stay away from its home and B) it could have any number of medical issues, food intolerances/allergies or be on a controlled diet for a reason.

What is she going to say when the neighbour comes back and says “you locked my cat in your house and now I have an emergency vet bill because of missed medication”

Original poster
MotherOfOlafs · 19/12/2024 16:06

UnicornPrincess1 · 19/12/2024 15:49

She can be friendly with the cat without feeding it. I personally view it as trying to steal someone else's pet when people do this.

When I had 2 cats, 1 would rarely come home because he was faux adopted by a random neighbour who fed him. My other cat was more skittish so didn't get too friendly with the neighbours for a long while, and I'd see him at home at least daily for his food.

Being able to see your pet regularly is an important part of being able to check on their health; it's perfectly possible this cat is supposed to be on a special diet or medication and could be prevented form receiving it due to her actions. I might try to explain this to her?

That’s the thing though, she’s had cats since she was a child, one she always talks about had an allergy that would make him sneeze like crazy. I think because it’s not her pet she sees it more as a toy to play with I guess?

OP posts:
DaisyChain505 · 19/12/2024 16:04

I would personally tell her to let the owners know that their cat visits her

They might get worried when their cat isn’t coming home over night etc

or it could have a medical condition meaning it’s on specific food

MissDoubleU · 19/12/2024 16:04

It’s awful behaviour but I doubt she will stop, no matter what you say. You should be very frank though. If she says she’s bonded with the cat, retort that its owners are likely bonded too and potentially going sick with worry when it’s locked in/doesn’t come home at night. Her feeding the cat to encourage it in and tempt it away from its actual owners is a sort of theft and I wouldn’t be holding back on telling her how vile it is.

My cats are house cats but if they weren’t and someone else had kept it in I would be having panic attacks and all sorts. If she doesn’t know the neighbour she has no idea the kind of distress she is causing just because she wants to “have a bond” without any real responsibility. Ugh. I hate it.

ItGhoul · 19/12/2024 16:00

I don't think you can stop her, but it's really shit behaviour on her part, and if I were the owner of the cat I'd be fucking livid that she was enticing my pet into her home and feeding it. Why the hell do people think this is OK?

Basically, she wants all the fun of having a pet while someone else pays the vet's fees.

tiptoesfirst · 19/12/2024 15:55

I think it's really wrong for her to do this. What if this cat is the best friend of a disabled child and she's pinching it? She needs to get her hands off and get her own cat.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 19/12/2024 15:54

My NDN's cat appears to like our house, I don't mind him coming in, he's funny but I would never feed him. I return him home when someone gets in from work next door.

itsmylife7 · 19/12/2024 15:51

I doubt anything you say will change her behaviour.

UnicornPrincess1 · 19/12/2024 15:49

She can be friendly with the cat without feeding it. I personally view it as trying to steal someone else's pet when people do this.

When I had 2 cats, 1 would rarely come home because he was faux adopted by a random neighbour who fed him. My other cat was more skittish so didn't get too friendly with the neighbours for a long while, and I'd see him at home at least daily for his food.

Being able to see your pet regularly is an important part of being able to check on their health; it's perfectly possible this cat is supposed to be on a special diet or medication and could be prevented form receiving it due to her actions. I might try to explain this to her?