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AIBU?

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Original poster

To dread cooking the blasted turkey every year?

238 replies

Mrswhatsit40 · 19/12/2024 15:06

It's always dry and tasteless no matter what I do. I'm generally very laidback but this is the worst bit about Christmas for me - worrying about cooking the turkey. Worrying it's going to defrost properly in time then wrangling with a beast the size of a large toddler, removing the disgusting giblets, then in and out of the oven for hours from 9am onwards basting, giving myself third degree burns in the process, stuffing inside or not blah blah.

What the the absolute BEST way you cook your turkey to avoid meat dryer than a nuns crotch? And please don't suggest that Jamie Oliver thing of smearing butter underneath the skin bc I tried it last year and it was impossible (disclaimer:I am not a great cook).

Help me please oh wise MN-er's so I can sleep tonight..what's your failsafe tip for tender turkey? Or does it not exist?

YANBU: It's a pain in the bloody arse and turkey tastes terrible no matter what
YABU: It's easy to cook a nice turkey and you are clearly doing it all wrong

OP posts:
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Gowlett · 19/12/2024 21:11

MIL just fires it into the oven, straight from the plastic covering. She doesn’t care, as she doesn’t eat it… Just gets the cheapest one in Tesco. We have chicken here, it’s quick & easy!

Laserwho · 19/12/2024 21:06

This is why we have spag bol. Easy to cook and then everyone can enjoy the day

chattyness · 19/12/2024 21:03

We don't have turkey, leg of lamb for us yum

madaboutpurple · 19/12/2024 21:01

My DP was a chef and he cooks turkey/chicken by cooking it the right way up and then when it half way done he turns it upside down. We have always had lovely chicken or turkey when he does this as the juices get a chance to move all over the bird.

Applepoop · 19/12/2024 20:53

Just get a chicken

imnotthatkindofmum · 19/12/2024 20:50

Turkey is gross. It doesn't matter how you cook it!

We usually have pork, gammon or beef. Sod tradition!

Teapot13 · 19/12/2024 20:49

I have been known to make jambalaya, paella, or beef Burgundy for Christmas. Much better than turkey.

Purplepepsi · 19/12/2024 20:36

I refuse to cook turkey too. I used to do duck, now we have a Christmas pie from a local pie place with all the trimmings! This year we have individual ones so we could all have our own favourites! I'm so excited!

CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 20:30

5foot5 · 19/12/2024 15:38

I have been cooking turkey every year for Christmas for thick end of forty years. One year I cooked goose because I had always fancied it - never again.

Honestly my turkey always comes out well. Basically I just follow the way of St Delia of Norwich (Blessed Be Her Name.) You can probably look it up on Delia Online but, for my 5.5k turkey, it will be:

  • take out of fridge before bed the night before to get to room temperature;
  • stuff sausage meat in the neck end and under the skin on the breast;
  • smear it all over in butter then season;
  • put streaky bacon over the breast;
  • enclose the turkey in a big tent of foil, so air can circulate;
  • give it a blast on very hot (200 fan) for 35 minutes
  • turn down to 160 fan for rest of cooking time - dependent on size of turkey - in my case (5.5k) about 3 hours
  • take foil off and then give about another 30 minutes basting occasionally
  • take out of oven, wrap in foil and rest for at least 30 minutes before carving

As to the frozen versus fresh argument. I was in the fresh is best camp for many years. We always ordered our bird well in advance and collected on Christmas Eve. Then about 3 years ago I saw a consumer programme just before Christmas all about the various seasonal things we get and what is worth the money, taste tests and so on. They covered the fresh v. frozen thing and said that while fresh might have been better years ago (when St Delia wrote her gospel) these days with improved ways of freezing this was no longer necessarily the case. In fact a frozen bird could actually be "fresher" than a fresh bird. Anyway, we tried for the first time two years ago and, honestly, we cannot tell the difference and it is less than half the price. Just get it out of the freezer about 3 days before you want to cook it.

Agree, I love Turkey and have been cooking it Delia's way for over 30 years. It really needs to rest after cooking to stay moist. I give mine a final baste, wrap in foil and then tuck a folded bath towel over it whilst roast potatoes are cooking. The towel sounds a bit over the top but does work!

burntheleaves · 19/12/2024 20:15

@squirrelnutcartel

Let them source and cook it then. People are only pretending to like turkey anyway. It's social pressure that means they're buying them. Just say no, enough, no more turkey.
Oh nonsense. I love turkey. One of my adult sons also loves it. The rest of the family like it as much as any other protein.

We like it so much I buy extra crowns to freeze to have once a month for a few months.

Auburngal · 19/12/2024 20:12

Matilda1981 · 19/12/2024 18:42

I’ve had turkey crowns in the past that have fed 12 with loads left over for the next day! Probably not available from a supermarket tho - I get mine from a local butcher!

Show quote history

I bought turkey crowns at my former employer on their Christmas food ordering service. Get large crowns as DF adores his turkey sandwiches. We all love turkey on the day and cold cuts.

Ineedaholidayyyy · 19/12/2024 19:57

Why do something you don't even really enjoy and just causes you stress?

Next year just get a small turkey crown if you must to please the traditionalists, and then cook something else you actually enjoy. Gammon in the slow cooker is much easier and you can't go wrong with that!

lochmaree · 19/12/2024 19:53

Im doing beef in my instant pot this year, really easy as just sear then slow cook with red wine and stock.

Nordione1 · 19/12/2024 18:55

Nordione1 · 19/12/2024 18:53

I haven't read all the posts to see if this has already been suggested so apologies if it has. I am actually brilliant at cooking turkeys (weirdly as I'm not good at cooking much else).

Take the turkey out of the fridge in good time and remove giblets for gravy. Then you push butter under the skin all over; as much as possible. Loads on the breast. Butter the skin on the outside too. Season. Then (this might be against health and safety) push stuffing in one end to fill the cavity and sausage meat in the other. Loads of it. Then go mad with overlapping streaky bacon and cover everything with it. No visible turkey skin left. Then cook it for whatever time you reckon and in the last half hour or so remove the bacon so the turkey skin can brown (keep the bacon warm). Then take out of oven and rest for a good amount of time. You could do half an hour if covered with foil. This means the juice goes back in the turkey so it's not dry. Drain some off for gravy obvs. I often make extra gravy a few days before with chicken bones and the turkey carcass as you can never have enough gravy.

Oh and I forgot to say once you've covered the turkey with bacon put foil over it with enough room at the top for the steam. So you make a house for the turkey so it's airtight almost. When it's nearly cooked and the bacon comes off then you undo the foil for the last half hour to brown.

Nordione1 · 19/12/2024 18:53

I haven't read all the posts to see if this has already been suggested so apologies if it has. I am actually brilliant at cooking turkeys (weirdly as I'm not good at cooking much else).

Take the turkey out of the fridge in good time and remove giblets for gravy. Then you push butter under the skin all over; as much as possible. Loads on the breast. Butter the skin on the outside too. Season. Then (this might be against health and safety) push stuffing in one end to fill the cavity and sausage meat in the other. Loads of it. Then go mad with overlapping streaky bacon and cover everything with it. No visible turkey skin left. Then cook it for whatever time you reckon and in the last half hour or so remove the bacon so the turkey skin can brown (keep the bacon warm). Then take out of oven and rest for a good amount of time. You could do half an hour if covered with foil. This means the juice goes back in the turkey so it's not dry. Drain some off for gravy obvs. I often make extra gravy a few days before with chicken bones and the turkey carcass as you can never have enough gravy.

PinotPony · 19/12/2024 18:47

Huh? I’m an utterly shit cook but don’t find it hard. I’m “cooking” for 8 people. I’ve bought a fresh turkey crown from Tesco (to be delivered on Sunday). It’ll go in the oven covered in foil until 30 mins before I get it out to stand.

Now wondering if my food is actually horrible and nobody likes it… but they all slather it in gravy and seem to enjoy…

applestewing · 19/12/2024 18:45

As pp buy a chicken BUT serve with Turkey gravy…. No one will know 🦃

GetDressedYouMerryGentlemen · 19/12/2024 18:45

The OPs DH and DSs want leg meat so a crown won't cut the mustard for them.

Honestly OP use the Phil Vickery method. My DH would only eat turkey leg until he had turkey cooked this way now he will happily have breast too.

Matilda1981 · 19/12/2024 18:42

Mrswhatsit40 · 19/12/2024 15:34

I would get a crown but there are 8 of us and we like leftovers for sandwiches so there wouldn't be enough.

Show quote history

I’ve had turkey crowns in the past that have fed 12 with loads left over for the next day! Probably not available from a supermarket tho - I get mine from a local butcher!

CastleCrasher · 19/12/2024 18:39

Easiest way to moist turkey- cut a slit on he skin of each breast, push your fingers in ti separate it from the flesh. Push a stick of butter in (about same size and shape as two fingers) one on each side. Cover the tray in foil - quite tight, but folded back on itself at the top to create space for the steam later.

Bung in the oven, and baste only when you put the roasties in later. Take the foil off for the last 30 minutes.

That's it. I get asked for my secret every year.
Also - serve wine. If the turkey is crap (it won't be) you won't care! 😅

Runmybathforme · 19/12/2024 18:39

Ugh, turkey is vile, tasteless and dry. I don’t understand why people serve it, it’s not traditional. There are so many other options.

ScrambledSmegs · 19/12/2024 18:39

Dry-brine the turkey at least 1 day before cooking. Game changer.

A good guide to dry-brining https://smittenkitchen.com/2019/11/dry-brined-turkey-with-roasted-onions.

Sounds weird. Works. You can do all the other butter/bacon/stuffing malarkey and it tastes good but ime this is the big one. No more dry tasteless turkey. Kosher salt is available on Amazon btw.

dry-brined turkey with roasted onions

This is Smitten Kitchen’s first and only turkey recipe, because you’ll never need another: deeply burnished, perfectly cooked, delightfully-seasoned, and crisp-skinned on a bed of onion…

https://smittenkitchen.com/2019/11/dry-brined-turkey-with-roasted-onions

RedToothBrush · 19/12/2024 18:38

Mrswhatsit40 · 19/12/2024 16:24

I know but I’ve bought the blasted thing now! The train is in motion and it’s too late to stop it. Dh and the boys are already arguing over who gets a leg. And dh has to make his turkey joke every year (after everyone has opined why no one has invented an 8 legged turkey)
Q:”What did the farmer say to the 8 legged turkey”?

A: “Nothing - he couldn’t catch it”!

Sorry.

Show quote history

Well in that case next year is easy.

Beef with some turkey legs.

Sorted.

Ginmonkeyagain · 19/12/2024 18:34

I solve the horrible turkey condundrum by having a side of salmon instead.

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