Autism concerns Can I have a second pair of eyes please

Honestly I genuinely don't see anything wrong with her behaviour? It almost sounds like you want her to get a diagnosis. Most toddlers don't want to look at a book if they have toys instead. Would you?

Hi op, I’m autistic ( only diagnosed last year aged 45 ) and both of my dc are autistic, ds is now 21 and was diagnosed when he was 8, dd is now 13 and was diagnosed last November when she was 12. They’re both so different it’s crazy and I couldn’t even begin to compare them as for example-
dd was talking in sentences at around 18 months, reading before school, extremely bright; potty training took forever. Ds hardly said a word until he was 3 but was potty trained super quick and much younger than dd was. Both very bright but suffer with crippling anxiety and ocd as do I.

we have lots of autistic people in our family and of the 8 grandchildren, 7 of them have a diagnosis of autism. The 7 dc are all so different and all have their own challenges, strengths and weaknesses and some go to mainstream school and others go to special school. Nothing you have said is giving me autism vibes to be honest but obviously if you’re concerned then pls seek reassurance.

what I will say on my own limited experience with my family and with several friends is that the dc who are diagnosed young tend to be what would be classed as “severe” and it was very evident that something was different. My own dc didn’t present as severe when young and would be classed as “high functioning” which seems to be the wrong thing to say but one that most people understand.

autism in girls is so different than in boys and they mask well. I did it, my daughter did it and we both still do sometimes. Try not to worry, everything will be ok 😊

Bloody hell they are 1 years old for goodness sake. HV is NOT trained to recognise ASD

There's a lot of material online about language development.

Is it possible your child has picked up on your own general anxiety? Children are able to sense a vibe.

https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=age-appropriate-speech-and-language-milestones-90-P02170

Here's a rough guide ^. These are baseline rubrics. Some children in the age groups will be able to understand and say more than the indicators. Any child whose language falls under the baseline by the upper age limit possibly needs a little help.

Your HV is blowing smoke up your ass.

But lots of children get overwhelmed when surrounded by others, if you crouch down to her height you'd be overwhelmed too with all these big bodies around you. Again these things tend to improve around 5 or 6 but there are simple things you can try in the meantime. What do you do when in a crowd? step back, distract her with a game? Have her face you so she can't see the others and play a jumping game or similar? Or is she facing outward with everyone crowding near her.

The problem isn't that she is or isn't autistic, the issues are because she is a one year old learning to navigate the world. It takes time and will pass.

If you are as anxious as you say you are it's far more likely your anxiety rubbing off on her, your mannerisms and body language that is telling her she needs to be on alert rather than relaxed. Get that under control and you may find your DD relaxing too.

If the issues are very subtle and the child is very young, it's unlikely any professional would want to do any more than wait and see. Maybe go back to the HV and try to find out why she made a referral ?

i remember having vague concerns about DS as a toddler and he is currently awaiting a diagnosis age 10. He’s also the most incredible child and I wouldn’t change a single hair on his head.

Don’t waste time worrying about it OP - it sounds like there are no significant autism pointers from what you have said, and even if she does turn it to be autistic then she is still your brilliant little girl.

During the earlier days of ASD/Autism diagnosis (DS now 23 experienced them), when exclusions were used as an educational remedy - and bad parenting often being the initial explanation whilst the qualified professionals were conducting their tests - the food thing just wasn't included when it certainly should have been.

It is now. And so is a better understanding of Autism.

I can't understand why a referral would be made when there are no reported indications of developmental delay - what does the HV think she should be doing at her age ? Even allowing for the fact that higher level autism might present in a more subtle way, I'm not sure what is being picked up on . Diet can be an issue in autism but my ds1 is severely autistic and he has never had any food problems - eats anything and everything

Sounds typical, but I'll level with you, many of the people I encounter currently with the diagnosis seem fairly indistinguishable from most people.
My eldest has the diagnosis but has significant language and social delay, and at 11 appears more like an extremely bright 7-8 year old. They seemed very babyish in lots of ways as an older toddler - apart from we knew they were cognitively advanced (showing clear ability with early reading, numeracy and colour and shape identification). They didn't say their first word till just before three and didn't combine words till just before 3.5.
Also I've noticed quite a few times - and this is very un PC - a correlation of 'bright' children tending to be later to start smooth heel-toe walking, often well into primary. A certain amount of asynchronous development is expected in very intelligent people though, I believe.
I don't think proper back and forth conversations are typical until at least three, also I certainly wouldn't class a child who eats from that extensive list as fussy.😁

Neuro divergence is rampant in my family and that is absolutely NOT a restricted diet. My DN survived exclusively by Living off barely cooked, not at all brown alphabites, Aldi krave (light coloured one), smart price Aldi cheese slices and blue warbs bread. One specific Brand of chicken noodles that is never consistently in stock. Washed down with Aldi orange cordial or very occasionally, banana nesquick and milk. That’s IT. Nothing else. No occasional fruit or veg. Nothing. He won’t even eat cake if you were to say choose any cake you want in a supermarket.

I toe walked up to age 7 or 8, maybe longer. I just liked it. I was also a very picky eater. I'm NT.

My DC2 still toe walks at nearly 7. He's NT.

She's not even 2. She sounds fine.

Both of my children are autistic.

They're fantastic kids.

Both are still restrictive eaters and neither has ever eaten the variety your toddler currently eats. One is now 18 and the other 15 for context.

Stop worrying.

This app gives a guide to the signs of autism in young children: https://asdetect.org/

I think the thing to remember is that saying "if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism"

everyone is going to be different and I agree, its not worth worrying before age 5

only children can be shy and very bright ones are often interested in things more than people.

When I look back to my dd being young who now has an asd diagnosis. She was very structured couldn’t cope with change. Hated loud noises. Quite obsessional. Good speech but antisocial. However every parent will have a different experience. Maybe read up on girls with asd if you have concerns.

The HV is also not an expert in Autism, they probably have a list of things to check off and if they don't check off everything, they refer.

Maybe go back and read your previous thread where you got very helpful replies, I don't think you'll get any better replies on this thread than you got last time.

I’m autistic and have ND children. I don’t see anything of concern in your post, she’s a great little eater.