Dh meeting female colleague for a drink

Of course when he mentions the inevitable rumours circulating at work, you'll know it's nonsense. You've always known about them having lunches/drinks (because it won't be just once). They're just friends....

As we so often see, the new work friend is usually a younger female. Not always, but it doesn't really matter if she looks like Cindy Crawford or Joan Crawford, if there's an attraction, that could be trouble.

Unless you have other reasons to give you cause for concern OP, I wouldn't worry. I work in a male-dominated field, I often meet up with a ex-colleague for a beer or a meal. I met up with my old boss last week, just had a natter, meal and a pint. Nothing between us apart from friendship, never will be anything else other than friendship. (My personal opinion is his wife must be a saint!) I wouldn't stress about it unless there are other signs you have cause for concern.

I work in a predominantly male industry and most of my colleagues are men. Many are also my very good friends. In my experience, meeting men at work can lead to great friendships that never even veer towards the inappropriate due to being in a professional setting.

Thanks for your patronising comment, but I think it’s sad if you don’t think men and women can be friends without an ulterior motive.

@Queenofthejabs I think it is very unkind of you to suggest that the OP has issues that should be dealt with in therapy to get her to react in a different way !

She is PERFECTLY ENTITLED to feel like this and many women would and do. It is about respect for your partner. It didn't matter whether it is a lunchtime drink or something else. They need to come to some resolution on this which works for them but to suggest she shouldn't have this reaction - shocking!

Oh @lionloaf you poor innocent....

This is such a ridiculous and sad point of view. My husband has a female friend who he used to see regularly for a lunchtime drink etc until we left that area. There is no way on earth he would want to be anything other than friends with her, and neither would she with him. She was a colleague of both of ours at one time and I know her well. They still speak on the phone and text occasionally (we now live hundreds of miles away). She's now 70 and he's 76. At no time in the last 40 odd years have I been worried about their friendship, just like any other reasonable person. He doesn't police my friendships or my movements and I don't his. What an awfully dark, constricted, fearful life you must lead.

OP does he take you out for lunch?

why not recognise it’s your issue, and not make it his problem @Queenofthejabs - totally unnecessary what a bitchy response

He's told you about it. He's going for lunch, not late night drinks.

You can feel how you feel ofc, but it's not okay imo to tell him he can't do this.

I have a different perspective as I'm a lesbian, but how ridiculous would it be if I told my wife she couldn't see female friends alone? And queer people usually have lots of queer friends, so it's not just straight women!

You have to trust your husband enough to know that if someone was flirting, he'd shut it down.

Well it might be a " load of total rubbish" in YOUR opinion.
But @ Sceptical123
is entitled to their opinion. And it makes sense to me.

Not sure how you can judge my sense of pride. I'm not in a relationship with anyone and haven't been for years. I'm just stating my personal experience (at the grand old age of 67 and having worked in many different environments and lived on 3 continents) of waaay too many men. Sadly I'm far from alone.

I go for lunch with male and female colleagues all the time but it's never arranged. More of an 'anyone fancy grabbing lunch' kinda deal. That being said I honestly wouldn't have an issue with this.

What a load of total rubbish

I can't imagine being married and going for drinks with a single man 10 years younger than me that I don't know very well

They are colleagues having a lunchtime drink. He didn't pick her up on a dating site.

I’m queer and would absolutely be single if my partner had some of these nonsense opinions about who I socialise with - because it would mean I didn’t have any friends at all! Some of you need to get a grip, you’ve either got trust in your relationship or you haven’t.

Why would you even suggest this. Talk about creating an awkward situation. Let them enjoy their lunch

My husband meets probably about 9 or 10 female colleagues and ex colleagues, possibly a few more, (on separate occasions obviously 😄) for coffee, lunch, dog walking etc very regularly. I never give it a second thought.

Do single men 10 years younger that you ask you out for drinks alone though?

I can't imagine being married and going for drinks with a single man 10 years younger than me that I don't know very well.

That said I wouldn't ask him not to go - instead I'd tell him I'm not feeling great or very confident at the moment and I'd really appreciate it if he could put lots of time and effort into me and our relationship right now.

It seems like he's putting a lot and time and effort into his friendships and he needs to remember who should be his priority.

Have some pride and don't have a relationship with a man if that's what you think of him, then.

Absolutely not.

Nonsense, I’m Brenda, my colleagues go out with me. Give over with the ageist misgynistic stuff.

I have to agree with this. If it was overweight Brenda with facial hair and ten years older than him he would have dodged any reason to be seen out in public with her.

I personally don't assume every woman is remotely interested in getting her knickers off for any bloke who shows an interest. What I do think, however, is that the majority of men are thick skinned and conceited enough to think it might happen and to act on it given the slightest encouragement (which is usually in their over sexed, pathetic imaginations).

Crazy right