I’ve been friends with this girl since sixth form, so a long time now. We’re both in our early 30s. I’m married, have a toddler, and am a stay-at-home mom. She’s working, traveling, has a boyfriend but zero interest in marriage or kids (her words: “kids give me nightmares”). Basically, we’re living completely different lives.
There’s no big falling out or anything, it’s just that, for me, the friendship feels like it’s fizzled out. Definitely not for her though. She’s still messaging me all day, every day. It’s “Good morning!” followed by “Look at this dress I bought” or “Does this onion look off?” and “Send me baby pics, I miss her!” A few months ago, I was right there with her, loving the daily chatter and feeling so lucky to have her as my best friend.
Then we had this tiny, silly argument, a complete misunderstanding, and didn’t talk for a week. Ever since then, something’s shifted for me. Those conversations that used to be fun now just feel… pointless. She’ll call during the day (she works from home) to say, “Hey, what are you up to? Want to see my nail polish?” And instead of enjoying it, I’m thinking, “Okay, can we get to the point? I'd rather head to the park.”
She hasn’t changed; she’s still sweet, funny, and caring. But after that week of silence, i don't feel at all as keen as I used to. All the updates about random stuff—what we ate, what’s happening next week, the usual—it just feels like too much now.
I can’t figure out why I feel this way. Maybe it’s because our lives are so different, but that feels like a lame excuse. Or maybe it’s because she’s still friendly with someone who was horrible to me in my late 20s (and she knows it). But that’s been the case for years, so why would it bother me now?
I don’t know what’s changed, but something has, and I just don’t feel the same about the friendship anymore.
She came over yesterday, brought a present for my toddler, and we had pizzas. It was fun (on paper, anyway). We talked non-stop, nothing awkward or strained, but I just didn’t enjoy it the way I used to. I wasn’t that interested in the conversation, even though it flowed fine. My toddler, on the other hand, had the best time, which somehow makes me feel even worse. If I let this friendship go, it’s not just me who loses out, my child does too, and she really loves seeing her.