To feel so hurt

Yes, so that you have to chase him. It’s all a game to feed his ego.

He likes having you there, miserable; it makes him feel powerful. He’s doing it to stop you moving on.

See him as little as you can, and think of him as little too. You need time to recover from the hurt and picking at the relationship won't help you disengage, which may be why he keeps doing it.

I think once you can see his behaviour for what it is, total manipulation on you all to get you to take him back with no intention of changing, you will know you are doing the right thing for you.

He isn’t over playing with the children because he misses them, he is doing it purely so they miss him and get upset when he leaves.
He isn’t with the other woman because he likes her, she is just a pawn so he can make you jealous by comparing her to you etc.
He doesn’t want to sort out any problems within your marriage nor is he missing you and Dc madly, he likes the convenience of you at home doing all the work so he can carry on living his best life as an adult child who is only interested in pursuing his own interests and hobbies.
He has no interest in pleasing anyone, only himself and as he has shown you, women are interchangeable so once he realises you won’t take him back he will need to set up another drudge at home so he can once again bugger off and please himself with his own interests.

He is trying to manipulate you to take him back. Don’t do it. Also, talking from experience you really should start putting boundaries in place for the sake of the children especially when it comes to pick ups and drop offs. Start as you mean to go on because it’s going to add so much more confusion for them in the long run. Staying for hours to play isn’t going to actually benefit them in the long run. It caused more hurt and confusion for mine and for me 4 years down the line, one of mine still can not get her head round the divorce and that’s because of the ex s manipulation 4 years ago and my stupidity xx

You sound really conflicted at the moment and not entirely certain that you have made the right decision. But at other times you can tell it definitely was the right choice to leave him. This push and pull is exhausting and confusing. You need as much time away from him as is possible (whilst coparenting), not easy to achieve I know, i have been there but it is the only way to properly get over someone. It is still recent and raw but it will get easier. You may want to consider if therapy could help, because you deserve a healthy relationship which is balanced. I wish you luck OP

this is clearly a very emotionally challenging situation for you, and I can feel the angst in your post. Your head is guiding you towards the decision that’s right for you, but your heart strings still tug on an attachment, that only serves to stop you from feeling lonely.

the fact that he can he has the audacity to tell you how much he fancies another woman, tell you as much as you need to about his personality. He is not a keeper.

Cos he's a dick, which seems to be the reason you split with him so it should come as no surprise?

You're being a dog in the manger

I think from reading your posts that right now you’re in the thick of it. And it will only be over when you realise what a scum bag he is.
your confidence is on the floor from previous begging. Brush that off. Realise who you are, no man is worth this absolute bollocks.
we could all write all kinds of advice but in reality none of us have the magic wand you want to make you feel nothing for this ‘man’. When the day comes we will be here for you and you will think what the hell was I thinking.

The moment you meet someone better than him, you won’t feel like this. That’s a certainty.

He’s talking about the other woman to you because you can’t bare it and he thinks you get jealous and he is paying lots of attention to the children only because they start saying to you they miss him. It’s all manipulation to get you to take him back and then things go back exactly as they were.
He can’t talk about why you broke up twice so you both can sort out the problems because he has no intention of ever changing, he’s using the other woman so he can play mind games with you and the children.

Honestly. What is wrong with women today. Why do u put up with bad behaviour from men.

It’s absolutely not your fault … relationships are two way streets he failed to contribute to that making it on him not you

OP you are right to be hurt by his behaviour but you need to make a really solid decision that you are over. And with that unfortunately comes freedom (on both sides) to see other people.

For the sake of your kids please formalise arrangements so that they are not getting confused and upset about what the set up is. You really need to prioritise them because this sounds very confusing from a child’s perspective.

Thankfully, no, I have a good one now and I count my blessings every day. Had to put the work in first though so that I was able to be in a healthy relationship.

Keep reminding yourself of this. Be strong, it will pass. You know he doesn’t make you happy. Prioritise yourself and let him go x

Of course he's being great now, he has no choice but to because you are not there and he has no choice but to step up.
However he's shown you exactly who he is and you need to believe him.

Can you not get anyone else to do the hand over of the children. You will get closure if you don't see him.