Is husband expecting too much 4 months PP or AIBU

Even if it was months he's still being unreasonable. At 4 WEEKS you should still be resting.

I'd be tempted to go off and leave your DC and DB with him with a list of jobs similar to the ones you'd done and ask him to make sure everything is tidy. Oh yes, and no doubt food prep or even cooking your evening meal ready for your return!

Ask him which of the other activities he thinks you should’ve left so that you could’ve done his preferred tasks. Is that not feed your son, not go to play group, not change his nappy, you not eat lunch, you not sorting out laundry? Which would he rather not done? He prob can’t answer that one…

He needs to be fucking quiet. What a knobhead.

He’s a tosspot. If you can be bothered, write him a productivity report for your day. Split into 30 minute sections and list what you did. “Sole food source for newborn”, “made lunch”, “recovered from major surgery”, “loaded dishwasher”, “fostered newborn’s development”, “slept”. If you’re on mat leave, make sure you include “made xyz in mat leave pay” for every standard working hour.

Then fold the report up nice and small and shove it up his arse when he gets home.

It doesn't matter what he's doing round the house; he begrudges you a trip to the christmas market because he thinks you should be scrubbing the house instead one month after giving birth, he is a prick of staggering proportions.

Sorry OP I know its not easy to hear your partner being slated but I'm afraid I have to agree with everyone else. You are absolutely not being unreasonable - he is being unreasonable at best, outrageously nasty and thick at worst. You have had major stomach surgery, that's no joke. You have a tiny newborn and breastfeeding demands. That's just a huge amount to have on your plate anyway. You are doing everything right, except maybe taking on too much cleaning and tidying at 4 weeks PP (you have to let you body heal and rest). Congrats on your little baby and please, please take on board the replies here x

Tell him if he wants the house to be tidy then he needs to tidy it. I'd be really pissed off.

4 WEEKS?! Fuck him! Not literally!

When I was 4 weeks pp, I couldn't move after my second. After my first I was still a mess! DH was off work to look after me (very lucky paternity package), but he was doing everything and without a whinge! Man was run ragged as we usually do 50/50 - did he moan? No! Holy shit I am actually fuming on your behalf! Tell him to piss off and clean up himself. Your body literally just grew and birthed a human, and is now keeping it alive by feeding it!

In fact as PP says, take the kids and go to stay with family if you can.

Four weeks!!!? I'd invite him to GTF.

I dont even need to read the whole thread to say that he is being completely unreasonable!

I'd like to see him keep the house tidy 4 weeks after major abdominal surgery.

My husband was a bit like this after my second was born and I've never forgiven him for it. "Have a productive day" is just 100% dickish behaviour. Yuck.

I hope you're planning on going back to work, he's the type to treat you as the family servant if you're a SAHM

He’s a wanker. I’m ten months PP still EBF and my husband works all day and then has the kids while I cook and then cleans the house/does wash loads when they are in bed. I can’t believe you are only four weeks PP and are doing any housework tbh

I would suggest to him this evening that you go together to visit the health visitor and he can ask her which of these domestic tasks you should be doing at 4 weeks PP. And tell him not only will she say none of them, firmly, but she would also raise a flag re. domestic abuse. Tell him if he thinks you’re wrong, you’re game if he is…

No and he needs to step up and clean and declutter.

You are recovering from major surgery, pregnancy as well as the demand of BF. I don’t think you should be scrubbing the bathroom or bending down all the time picking things up off the floor.

I feel sorry you just had a 2nd DC with him based on how unreasonable he’s being.

What an absolute arsehole. His preference for tidy isn’t an issue, it’s that he thinks you exist to serve him. I bet he thinks he’s a real stand up guy, a proper modern man for “helping you” with your elder child.

I’m so angry for you.

Four weeks pp and he said 'have a productive day'? I would kill him. Just reading that makes me murderous.

You're already doing way too much too soon after your c section. It's horrific. He's awful.

And the fair share of housework for him to do would be all of it! You are recovering from surgery and feeding a baby.
He doesn’t need to be doing DIY, he needs to be supporting you so you can recover properly.
Go to bed!

I am horrified by him - has he ever had a c section? Tell him to lie down and you will cut him open, take out a baby, sew you back up and see how he feels. It hurts!!! Let alone having a new baby and a young child - I know because when I had my c section I also had a 2 year old and a 4 year old and it is hard - you need time to heal so sod the housework!!!

Yeah that would be over for me. He can fuck right off.

You are 4 weeks PP, you have a 4 year old, you had a C-section and you are breastfeeding.

His behaviour is so unkind and unreasonable that it's bordering on abusive. Your children are your priority, not a spotless and tidy house.

I don't know if it's 4 weeks or 4 months but he is a twat either way.

If it's 4 weeks pick up your stuff and your toddler and go and stay with family who can support you

Your husband is being a twat.

You mean ex-husband right? His behaviour is abhorrent and abusive.