Is husband expecting too much 4 months PP or AIBU

Aren't you supposed to rest for 6-8 weeks after a C-section?

Either way he is being very unreasonable. If my husband tried that shit, he wouldn't be eating from clean plates or have any clean clothes out of spite.

Prick!

He is being entirely completely and utterly unreasonable.

When you have the strength to deal with this, I'd make it very clear to him that while I might be a housewife, I'm not a servant and at the very least I deserve a level of respect that he clearly isn't able to muster. You will have a long hard think about whether you want your children to grow up in a household where the wife and mother is seen as little more than a baby producing factory and a skivvy and he would do well to remember that!

He probably shouldn't have had kids if what he's looking for in his abode is a clean and tidy house. Kids are messy. They get messier as they get bigger.

He's really insensitive and I don't even remember what I was doing at 4 weeks post partum as I was going around in a haze. You're doing exceptionally well!

He thinks a 4 week old baby "doesn't like him"? Do you not see how it's not acceptable for him to be "amazing" but also "controlling"?

You are in recovery from a serious operation with a tiny baby who is completely reliant on you and are already doing way more than you should be doing post C-section. A loving husband would be protecting you and your recovery, telling you to sit down and rest. He's putting his own selfish obsession with the house above the health and wellbeing of his wife and baby.

I can well understand why you don't want to leave him when you are a few weeks post-partum but I would be letting him read this thread and having a serious talk about how he plans to improve himself and be a better husband in future.

Congratulations on your new arrival!
What I have noticed with posts which ask for advice on whether they are BU is that the OP gets shocked by the reactions (often rightly warranted) and then get defensive about their partner. Only you know him properly, but the overwhelming consensus is that lots of posters are galled by his attitude which you are too. You say he has issues with clutter, fine, he can help with that but to talk to you like that is really out of order, whether he is a good husband or a good dad.
Plan a chat with him soon.

We have a 5 month old and a 5 year old. My husband has a 70 hour work week until Christmas day. He'd never say anything like that especially at this time of year! A home is supposed to be a cosy and welcoming place, not sterile and spotless.

YANBU
I mean the doctor and HV specifically said no hoovering or mopping at all for 6 weeks post C section due to the movements damaging your back as your stomach muscles haven’t switched on properly. It was even in the leaflet from the hospital.

id focus on your recovery and the fact you’re doing childcare. He can get a cleaner if he’s not happy.

As far as I'm concerned the whole point of maternity leave is to look after the baby. That is currently your FT job in the same way that your husband's job is his job. So while he is at his job, you are at your job. Then when he is not at his job you both share the parental and domestic load for your family. You should not be running ragged 24/7 while he gets to work at most 10 hours a day and then takes it easy. Remind him that being on maternity leave does not make you his maid or domestic servant. You are doing your job already, and when he is home you look after the house, the children, and each other together.

Twat.

Just scrolled down and your actually 4 weeks pp, aagh even worse . Why can't he tidy up 🤯 if men had babies I feel the system would be set up very different.......has he tried having a baby on his boob on and off all day and then tried to clean the house, no so he has no idea if tidying the house is possible or not. Totally out of order

"Have a productive day", what you mean like sustaining an entire human life that you created from your body? Ask him how many people his body has provided a complete food source for today.

Ffs awful awful man. Your doing just fine op 💐

He sounds like a complete arsehole. Go on strike and don’t do any housework except anything that benefits you and the children, ie yours and their washing, dinner for you and son

Oh OP. I am 5 years post partum and my house is still a shit tip. You’re not his maid. Sounds like you are coping really well and doing too much already. He needs a kick up the arse.

I wholeheartedly agree with this.
A relative did this and was only bonded to the firstborn child who became the golden child to him. He pretty much ignored the subsequent children throughout their childhoods. It was awful for them and his wife and they eventually divorced- with this being a big factor in it.

“have a productive day”

He's a total cunt

He's being massively unreasonable. There's a reason it's called MATERNITY leave, not maid leave.

Your job is feeding your baby, which in the first year is more hours than a full time job, anything else is a bonus.

Next time he says it's untidy, I'd come back with, "Yes, and to be truthful it's quite lazy of you to let it get like this. Please tidy up so I can focus on your child."

This!

This is a bad sign. When I was with the baby few months in and trying to do everything, one day I realised I am so underslept that I fell on the floor. The husband came back and I told him what is done and what needs doing.

He tried to moan a bit but I declared it then and there that he start doing what he wants doing or see needs doing. A decade later, I have a properly developped house-husband who is able to do even more than 50% housework than me if the need will arise.

Tough love dear until they get it or leave
Life is short and I before I married ( which was late) already had enough time to have a practice run with another and decide what I DONT WANT from a man and what I want.

Sorry but he's being an absolute cunt

"Yes Daring, very productive. Sign these divorce papers".

Slightly off topic:

Don't fall into the trap of him always looking after the eldest while you look after the baby.
He needs to take the baby frequently, so that he can bond with his second child whilst you maintain your relationship with your first.

What an asshole!
Tell him to get real...what an idiot, I'm raging for you op.🌷🌷

Four weeks post CS!!! He is a gold star twat of the highest order. "Have a productive day" indeed, yes, your day is productive - keeping your young baby ALIVE AND WELL. That is what your maternity leave is for, not to fucking well keep house!

If he wants a spotless house, he can bloody well pay for a cleaner. He has 2 kids for goodness sake. Wait till they're 6 and 2, he'll have the shock of his life if he thinks he'll manage a clutter free show home then!

Everyone is different and heals differently. 4 weeks post C-section, I wasn't really doing much to be honest. And my husband was looking after our older child. I'd have been extremely unimpressed if he mentioned anything about the house not being tidy enough

Your husband is a cunt.

I’m coming up to 3 months pp and if my husband started pointing out all the stuff I’m personally not getting done he’d be told to crack on and do it himself. That goes for when I’m back at work too. Yeah he’s been at work all day but it doesn’t take much to say to his older child “come on kiddo let’s pick up all the toys off the floor”. Or just wash up the chopping board and put it away. Take less time to do it yourself than it would to point out it’s not been done.