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AIBU?

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Original poster

It's ok to disinherit a firstborn if remarried and have a new family, right?

268 replies

Eatcabbage · 19/12/2024 09:07

Or am I being unreasonable for feeling a bit hurt?
I feel like it is saying you aren't my daughter anymore, though this is about the billionth way this has been said over the years.
According to my mother, my father "should have got nothing" when they divorced as he did "f-all" and stayed at home with me after I was born when my mother went back to work, "and I paid your school fees", so why should I inherit anything from her?
I'm not bothered about the financial side of things and don't expect anything from my mother or anyone else and I never have, I'm fiercely independent, but I do get hurt by rejection.
I have two step siblings, and my father not recognising them in his will is apparently another reason why I have been disinherited by my mother.
I'm genuinely interested to know what is normally done in situations like this. Am I just being oversensitive? I know I am very sensitive to rejection and easily hurt by it.

OP posts:
DowntonCrabbie · 19/12/2024 09:30

Eatcabbage · 19/12/2024 09:20

The step siblings are my mother's children also, to clarify

They're not step they are half. Totally different things

Dontwearmysocks · 19/12/2024 09:30

your mother sounds horrible and bitter. I wouldn’t be putting too much effort into that relationship going forward. She punishing you for the failure of their marriage and her deal in the divorce and that’s outrageous .

kelsaycobbles · 19/12/2024 09:29

Assume you are not in Scotland ? As it would I think be illegal there

KneesUnder · 19/12/2024 09:26

Sounds as if she’s taking her complex feelings about the split out on you. Horribly unfair and messed up. I would try to disengage as much as you can.

Original poster
Eatcabbage · 19/12/2024 09:25

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 19/12/2024 09:22

Sorry I’m still confused. Who are the step children’s parents?

Show quote history

I made a mistake, half siblings. They are my mother's and her new (not so new) husband's

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 19/12/2024 09:25

I think OPs parents divorced then OPs mother had further children with a new partner `(half not step siblings). OPs mother has cut OP out of her will but somehow believes her ex husband should provide for her younger children (and in no way related to him) in his will. This is very bizarre thinking on the part of OPs mother.

AngelontopoftheTree · 19/12/2024 09:24

This is actually heartbreaking to read 💔
@Eatcabbage please don't ever think this is on you. This is very much your mother's problem - she is completely in the wrong!! And I'm sorry you are paying the (very high, very hurtful) price.

BodyKeepingScore · 19/12/2024 09:23

Eatcabbage · 19/12/2024 09:20

The step siblings are my mother's children also, to clarify

Then they're your half siblings, not step siblings?

Why would your father leave an inheritance to children your mother had in a subsequent marriage. That doesn't make sense?

LittleLlama · 19/12/2024 09:22

In your situation I would also be a little hurt, so I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. As you say it’s not about the money but the lack of acknowledgment that you are her daughter. I think I would find it hard to maintain a very close relationship with her under these circumstances.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 19/12/2024 09:22

Eatcabbage · 19/12/2024 09:20

The step siblings are my mother's children also, to clarify

Sorry I’m still confused. Who are the step children’s parents?

BMW6 · 19/12/2024 09:21

Then they're not step siblings - they're half siblings. But that makes no difference to my advice above.

Original poster
Eatcabbage · 19/12/2024 09:20

The step siblings are my mother's children also, to clarify

OP posts:
BMW6 · 19/12/2024 09:17

Your Mum sounds very...... strange (being kind).

On second thoughts, tell her to go to hell, drop all contact with her, cherish your relationship with your Dad. She's a nasty bitch and totally wrong.

You don't need someone like that in your life.

Original poster
Eatcabbage · 19/12/2024 09:16

DowntonCrabbie · 19/12/2024 09:11

Why would your father recognise your mother's new spouse's children in his will?

Guessing, because she thinks he has got her money from when they divorced and owes her.
Actually, when he was at home doing nothing looking after me when I was a baby, he was also doing his own work and totally renovating the houses they lived in, from derelict with no windows, including all the plumbing, electrics, exterior everything.

OP posts:
Billybagpuss · 19/12/2024 09:13

I’m confused.

mum and dad divorced, mum angry that dad got money, dad remarried? But in his will leaving money to you not step siblings so your mum cut you out? Or mum remarried and your dad not leaving stuff to her step dc (why would he) so she’s left you out?

either way mum leaving you out of a will is very difficult to come back from, there’s been countless threads on this sort of thing over the years and even when the parent back tracks it’s never the same. Get yourself some therapy and decide how you want the relationship to be going forward.

thepariscrimefiles · 19/12/2024 09:11

Your mum sounds horrible. She is punishing you for things that you dad has done.

Are your step-siblings the children of your mum's new husband? If so, why on earth would she expect your dad to include them in his will?

DowntonCrabbie · 19/12/2024 09:11

Why would your father recognise your mother's new spouse's children in his will?

Everlygreen · 19/12/2024 09:10

Yanbu, you are still her child. That's an awful way to treat you. Seems like she is punishing you for how she felt about your dad.

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