Christmas is just additional wifework isn’t it?

We split work 50/50 in this house as thats how both our parents operate. However, he is a terrible gift shopper and I've had some major disappointments over the years - things like getting two of the same crappy tea mug produced in China (I don't drink much tea, they are ugly, and I've never used them), or some other Instagram or Facebook pushed crap item.

This year I said 100 gbp budget for each person, buy within that limit. I sent him a curated list of about 15 things I liked, with links and pictures, for him to choose from, and absolutely no Temu level crap - that works for your family, but not me!. I also said no excuse anymore for shit gift wrapping like you are a five year old, you have youtube, use it! At least he sorted his parents out - tin of Marks shortbread thrown into a box and posted to his home country. Thats ok though, we got a single (large) lottery scratch card this year which is a new low. My family we only gift if we feel the desire to - i sent Oodies to my niece, nephew, DB, SiL because I knew with their chaotic lives a chance to lounge on the couch is what they love most and Oodies would make it even better. I'm not sending anything to my other sibling or parents and no one is hurt, hell they don't send anything to me eithet lol!

Last year we didn't do Christmas much (made nice burgers on the day, fun and easy), but instead gifted ourselves a short city break just before, that was a nice change. Think we will do that again next year.

I do most of the planning and recipe selection because I enjoy it, but I have to project manage DH by putting up a calendar of what needs to happen when, and links to the recipes. Hes a good cook and happy to cook and clear up and do housework cleaning chores, just needs guidance which is a little annoying but whatever.

Sat down with DH last night, was already in a mood because my back was killing from sitting wrapping all the presents, and he said something about the food shop - I just turned round to him and said "You know what, fuck it, next year everyone's getting money, we are booking somewhere to go out for dinner and you my friend are paying for it, i'm done"

My SO does the presents for kids, family friends etc. - I do all the cooking, decorating, cleaning etc. I guess our household is full gender reversal ha!

The magic is pretty non-existent when you're the only one making it.

We divide the presents and cards up by family roughly (though he'll buy any coffee related things for my side as I'm a coffee heathen). He does the food shop anyway so does that although I do the baking. I do more of the kids' school and club extra things as I work shorter hours (still ft though). It feels pretty equal to me. Thankfully.
I couldn't survive in a marriage where all the house stuff was laid on me. I'd probably explode with resentment and be divorced by now.

I do all the cooking at Christmas (usually it's 50/50 but my husband cannot cook large joints of meat to save his life!) and I buy all of Ds's presents and put all the decorations up etc.

I draw the line at buying presents for his family though. We mostly don't because we don't have much contact with them but the ones we do still talk to I leave for him to sort out. Even when we did talk to his mother though I left it to him.

YANBU but a lot of it is work created by women to meet standards they have set.

@TheSecondMrsCampbellBlack You married Rupert, Taggie! I don’t think he’s ever going to join in with “wife work” unless that means shagging other people’s wives!

Yes. The question from DH 'What are we giving my mother?' says it all.

I have hosted the extended Christmas Day since I got married in 1997. For the first few years I really resented it, then I just thought sod it, it's not that hard really. It's actually far easier to just do it all myself, plan it, spread all the tasks out over a sensible period of time, rather than having to check up on others all the time.

Everyone wants the same thing, food wise, every year, so I don't feel any need to innovate and can cook lunch in my sleep now. If anyone doesn't like what I prepare they can do one. If they want me to do anything on Boxing Day, the tough. That's my day off.

I made my usual figgy pudding last week and forgot to put the flour in. I will be interested to see if anyone notices.

Not for me really no, i love shopping so no complaints there. Really enjoy getting the bits for the stocking together etc. I'm crap at wrapping so DH does most of that. I also take no responsibility for any members of his family. We've ordered pre prepped stuff from m&s for our Christmas dinner. It helps we only have one child and I work part time. I've booked additional things like Xmas theatre show, Santa visit etc but I like all that stuff

Christmas is what you want to make it. I realised a long time ago I can’t be bothered doing Christmas stuff so now It’s just a normal day to me. I think this is the 6th or 7th year I haven’t put up a tree or decorations and I don’t go to anyones on Christmas Day/Boxing Day etc. I don’t however have any children but if I did then yes I would make an effort for them. I also have no issue at all with what anyone else does before people think I’m some huge Christmas hater, it is nice to see lights and decorations up in shops, restaurants etc. People should do what makes them happy.

I agree! Though my DH is at sea so can't really do much but he does send me money to pay for things. The one year he was home he quite happily helped me with everything Christmas related.

I'm almost tempted to leave the tree up until he's home on the 15th Jan 😂

We go shopping as family, even though I'm the one planning the shopping list. I do the cooking and baking (mostly because I hate the mess DD and DH do in the kitchen when they are cooking and baking I'm better at anyway) but they do the whole cleaning afterwards.
We don't do any family visits and are far away from any drama regarding who's going where for the Eve and the Day and whatever.

My mom has two jobs on Christmas Day - set the table and wash up and that's because those are the jobs she likes doing.
My dad will buy the food and cook. You can't get him out the kitchen.

I'm single, so I'll cook in my house.

How is it wife work if your husband does most of it? 😂

From your OP...If you choose to allow your dh to abdicate responsibility then I'm not sure what you expect?

My dh would never assume things are all on me.

From your update...90% is a massive over exaggeration and it sounds like he does a huge amount of the domestic labour. Sounds more like all you do is the food shop and present shopping which you admit is mostly for your family...

Mine is in uninterested in Christmas so if I didn’t do things, no one would.

I’m on strike.
I have done nothing for Christmas other than buy a few presents.
I can’t remember the last time anyone bought me a Christmas present so no bloody way am I going to break my neck doing everything. I’m having steak and chips for Christmas dinner, DH can sort himself out as he reckons there’s nothing difficult about cooking one - not that he ever cooks anything!
I’m unwell with flu, Christmas can sod off. I’m

It is a lot of work, but it depends whether you enjoy it or not, really how you view that 'work'.

I'm lone parent so 100% of everything falls on me. I work full time in a busy role and it's completely manic at this time of year, everything intensifies. I have to take afternoons off for DC's Christmas this, that an the other, I fall behind of the housework because I'm logging back on as soon as they're asleep to try and fight through the things I need to do at work before year-end, then of course there's Christmas shopping, wrapping, Christmas jumper day, secret santa and all the other stuff to remember. It's stressful, but I love Chritmas, so for me it's worth it. I'll pull acouple more late oes with work, spend this weekend catching up on all the housework that's been left either undone or half done an then Monday, I'll be in full Christmas mode and loving it!

If you don't enjoy it, I can imagine it must be an awful amount of pressure and pretty much hell!

We decorate together with the DC. I buy presents for my side, he does his side and we each get things for the DC.
I organise the shopping order, because I do the cooking. He'll clear up after dinner.
I usually do more of the cleaning/sorting out beds because he's usually working till Xmas eve but this year we both finish tomorrow.

I think it is another example of woman putting additional pressure on themselves and other women. Elf on the shelf, christmas eve boxes, massive present piles, outings to see santa x 6, coordinated house decorations, light trails, christmas PJ's etc, etc. The desire for a perfect christmas is driven by social media and keeping up with the jones. It's not exclusively women posting about the standards of christmas required but it is predominantly.

I love doing it all plus I want it done my way so…