I will let it go, but this has annoyed me

Definitely don't complain. I can understand that it is upsetting for you. Horrible to feel that you are being 'judged' in relation to a misunderstanding that wasn't your fault. But honestly I think most people (including the guy himself now that he has let off steam) will just see it as one of those things, without really ascribing any fault to anyone at all.

What is most telling about the story is that all that stuff is just a problem, not a resource. The people who donated it wanted rid of it, the school needed rid of it when it wasn't bought, now the charity shop needs rid of it.

The issue is one of waste removal. Charities often end up in a situation where they are having to deal with waste and be grateful for it. Mad world.

Which charity shops don’t sell toys? Every single one in our town does, including ones obviously for under 3s.

Things that will sell.

well obviously. I don’t offer shite, only stuff i would buy myself . Including brand new in the box adidas kids trainers and told no we don’t take kids clothes or shoes. Mental.

The OP concern is how it was handled not that they do not take certain items. Manners cost nothing and the charity shop managers behaviour was not good by all accounts.

I would write to the head office. I use to work in senior management in a charity and I can tell you many charity shop managers did not behave as we instructed. Look at the charity website and aim to speak to finance director they don’t get many calls from the public and will probably take your concerns onboard. And I would never fund raise or donate to that charity again. Merry Christmas

All these charity shops that don’t want books, don’t want toys, don’t want children’s clothes, turn their noses up at perfectly good dining tables and coffee tables because of a minuscule mark, they don’t want electrical goods because they have to PAT test them… what exactly do they want donated to them?

Things which will sell.

Books - we take books, we sell them for 10p each. We still send 20-30 crates per week away to be recycled. I can understand why a small shop without those facilities wouldn't take them.

Toys - We take toys, but a lot go to the rag man. People will "donate" broken toys, board games with bits missing etc. Nobody is going to buy a half completed coloring book. We've had jigsaws donated where the donor has helpfully circled on the front where the missing pieces are.

Childrens clothes - some sell but nobody is buying a Primark tee which cost 90p new. We sell babygrows at 10 for £1 and still don't sell many.

Furniture can be tricky as we don't deliver, a dining table without chairs isn't a big seller, even though it's second hand people are still picky.

PAT testers charge per item but have a minimum price per visit. We have had to cancel a visit before if we didn't have enough items. Small shops often don't have a contracted PAT tester for this reason.

There's a thought from customers that we should be grateful for every donation when a lot of them don't think if their donation is sellable. I await the inevitable annoyance from them in January because we won't accept Christmas trees.

All these charity shops that don’t want books, don’t want toys, don’t want children’s clothes, turn their noses up at perfectly good dining tables and coffee tables because of a minuscule mark, they don’t want electrical goods because they have to PAT test them… what exactly do they want donated to them?

I stopped bothering years ago, they are so ungrateful and rude, it’s easier to just give the stuff away to people on gumtree for free.

After you've worked in a charity shop for a while, you learn what your customers do and don't want. What other outlets do you think they should be sent to? There are donations we get that the rag man won't even take.

I love people saying what he should and should not do when they have zero charity shop experience.

Oh loads near us don’t - they just sell adult clothes. There’s only one locally (Barnardo’s) that accepts children’s clothes. Scope, hospice, Cancer Research, Crisis etc all don’t. Cancer Research actually told me they only accept new with tags on as secondhand doesn’t sell (I was trying to donate Sweaty Betty, Hobbs etc, not rags!). This is Camberwell not Kensington.

All of which is fine if they tell you that upfront. There are clothes recycling bins locally you can put used clothes into if charity shops don’t want them.

Yes, his job to decide what he sells in his shop, NOT his job to decide what others will and won't want. As a charity shop manager he should also ensure donations his shop don't want/need are passed on responsibly to other outlets, not merely thrown away. The guy had a shitty attitude and it astounds me the people on here prepared to make excuses for him.

@SwisswolvesLilley it is actually his job to decide what to sell and what not to sell. My friend worked as a manager of a large charity shop for several years. She had a strong retail background and her job was to make as much money as she could and she had set targets and goals the same as she would have had in any high street retailer

is it a national charity? If so I'd contact head office to complain. The idea is to encourage people to give, not put them off!

Donating to charity shops is a complete nightmare these days. We have had a big clear out following having work done on our house. In addition MIL died two years ago and we are still trying to clear her house.

Frankly, some of the charity shop managers treat you like dirt for daring to donate the 'wrong' stuff.

The attitude and defensiveness of him shows he has probably fucked up and knows it.

People get like that.

I would just forget it. It's not your fault. If you can, grab the toys back but if not just put it out of your mind and have a good Christmas.

I agree he shouldn't be rude but it absolutely is his place to know his stock and his storage and to make decisions about which donations to accept.

His job is also to embrace the ethos of charity. If he can’t do that, he shouldn’t be working there, and it’s not his place to determine what is ‘unwanted’.

I work in a charity shop, at this time of year we get an avalanche of toys and many other shops are refusing to take them, I wish we could but head office have said no. Everyone is having a clear out for Christmas and we've had 3 or 4 donations of the dregs of school fairs. We don't have infinite space, so everyone saying "find another charity shop" doesn't have a clue what they're talking about.

Nobody is going to be able to sell through so much a week before Christmas, we've even marked ride on toys etc. down to £1 to get rid of them. I'm sick of the "charity shops should be grateful" narrative.

I would send an email explaining that your class/school will no longer be donating to this charity to HR and instead you will collect for another. Explain the exact reason for this - something like, 'it is difficult to work with a manager who is belittling of the time and effort myself, my class, and other staff members put into collecting for this charity. Furthermore, I cannot have another situation where it is not properly communicated to me or my peers what donations will be acceptable. This not only wastes the charities time and money, but ours'.

Basically, get it in writing that this guy has been a prick, and then ditch him for a nicer charity.

Leave it and donate to a different charity next year.

Well to be honest you’re both relying on your own memories so he realistically could be in the right 🤷‍♀️

I can’t stand this rude grumpy attitude from charity shops, it’s actually really miserable when you make an effort to recycle old things instead of binning them and get told off like some kind of semi-criminal chancer.

it’s ok they if they can’t take something and explain that so you don’t give them that, fine, maybe annoying but not their fault. But when they have a go at you - fuck off!

We have loads in our area, it’s known for them and people come here to do the charity shops, so they are popular and successful. Most of the staff are lovely. But one in particular has a man who is so rude and dismissive and sneery about what you try to donate. It’s the Bethany shop that do furniture and bigger items so some things can only go there, but I’ve stopped taking anything as he’s so horrible. (And it’s never been anything broken, dirty or rubbish, nothing like that at all.) It just goes to the recycling centre/tip instead which is a big faff but at least it will get used in some way.

I know the feelings of the person doing the donating aren’t the most important thing, but I just want to say I know how it feels OP and YANBU

That's not the OP's fault, though. It was the charity's error. If he is giving anyone a bollocking, it should be the person who miscommunicated to the OP. OP, I would never deal with that charity again. I would also complain to their head office and I would also be telling everyone I knew not to donate to them unless and until I got an apology.

I took photos of our outgrown toys and emailed them to local nurseries, playgroups and afterschool clubs. A bit of a faff for me dropping things off but I wanted them to go to places where they would be played with, instead of just going to landfill. Almost everything was snapped up!

Please complain! That's awful attitude from him. Are you sure the stuff they took is even going to be sold for the charity or the cynic in me says maybe he only wanted stuff he could sell for higher prices as new.
In any case ask for the toys back and donate them to a local women's refuge/ reach out to more local foodbanks who may appreciate their families getting some toys with food or just keep them for school reception/ nursery. I really hope he didn't throw them away. And his attitude needs to be flagged up if that's the way he speaks to people who've donated so much instead of a thanks.

Can you not just pick it up and take it to the nearest charity shop?