To think that all the dietary requirements these days is taking the joy out of hosting?

That's the reason I don't host. Thank goodness for restaurants.

I do sympathise OP. I go to great lengths to accommodate any allergies, but I've always given children the same food as adults, and wouldn't be prepared to make anything special on Christmas Day for someone who was just fussy. We had our daughter and son in law living with us for much of this year, and trying to cope with a very strict halal and organic only diet proved to be very challenging! Thankfully my daughter ended up cooking for herself 😆

Although that list looks daunting if you are an adventurous cook- most Christmas roast meals should surely work? Or any basic meat and veg combo with a meat alternative for the vegan.
Roast potatoes in (rapeseed? Yes/no?) Oil,. The IBS person can just not eat peas?
And I don't eat nuts anyway so don't have them around, but it's not hard to not have nuts in a main meal is it?
Desserts now would be much harder!

I think you'd need 2 probably to fit all those requirements.

A sticky toffee or syrup sponge or suet pudding.
You can make gluten free ones but I think its rank, I'd rather do something like a cheese cake with a GF biscuit base and fruit on for the celiac.

My biggest pet hate as a coeliac is being lumped in with the vegan option. Being coeliac is bad enough without a vegan meal and dessert of fruit

I'll happily cater for allergies. I absolutely won't for preferences or picky eaters though.
I would questions some of those allergies though, some seem very improbable....

You'd have to do gravy with vegetable stock rather than use the meat juices, separate vegan pigs in blankets, gluten free and vegan Yorkies, gluten free bread sauce made with soy milk or oat milk, roast potatoes roasted in vegetable oil not goose fat - it wouldn't be totally straightforward.

Here here!
Also coeliac and recently went for a spa day with afternoon tea with my partner. Website clearly stated all dietary requirements were catered for and I made them aware when I booked. When it arrived it was laughable. No sandwiches, nothing savoury, just a tiny slice of lemon loaf cake, a small brownie and a coconut macaroon. My partner however had a lavish affair... I obviously complained.

OP, I always bring my own food or offer a dish to make it easier for the host. I know it can be annoying for those cooking and if I'm completely honest, I like to ensure I am going to get more than a plain chicken salad 😂

It makes catering hard work instead of a simple pleasure - but I only cater for allergies rather than don't likes!

Last year, I'd taken huge care cooking for 15 meat eaters alongside 2 coeliacs... made sure every single item that I cooked was GF apart from 2 different gravies that were in different jugs. My Mum then took the 2 GF plates and covered them in the wheat based gravy ........ so this year I'm making GF gravy for everyone. Lesson learned.

Yes I agree. It is pretty joyless now

I hope it becomes more normal for people to bring their own food and have it heated up at host’s house. Or to all order a takeaway so people can suit themselves (appreciate this may not work well for some allergies).

Tying yourself into knots trying to create a menu that works for everyone, is not too complex to prepare, and tastes nice is indeed joyless.

Tbh I have to deal with my gluten free meals, DS's handful of severe allergies and DD's SEN beige eating.
I do sometimes want to cry in the supermarket. It's usually three different meals every night. Unless it's pizza.

OP, I fully understand your situation. Both my sons are vegetarian and DIL is vegan so I tend to a 'Mediterranean Xmas' meal (stuffed vine leaves, vegan koftes, salad, hummus, cacik, salad, roast potatoes, chicken and paxo stuffing balls! Good luck with whatever you decide to do and people - stop being harsh on the OP!

Maybe it's time to feed back to this group that you find catering for them a joyless chore and refuse to host from now on.

I have a wheat allergy and it’s rubbish. I’m bored of trying to work out what I can eat / what I can’t / what to have for dinner. It limits eating out and suck the joy out of food!

You have my sympathy OP it’s very much annoying and sucks the fun out of cooking!

You think hosting is joyless? Try having coeliac disease and having to meticulously plan all meals away from home. For the rest of your life. Often ending up with nothing or a bowl of olives (this actually happened) despite being assured there would be something safe. And having ignorant people slag you off for being "difficult". I would swap with you in a heartbeat.

I don't think it's that hard if you make a variety of things which don't all have one of those things. Not everyone has to be able to eat everything. People can pick and choose what they eat. Just clearly label them as "nut free", "no fruit" etc. In a massive font. So people know the effort you went to!

I think this is a perfect idea. I’m always happy to bring a dish. It doesn’t need to be complicated. Being together and having fun beats the perfect sprout any day.

Laugh I did, and said they had to be sure to invite me to their Teflon induced funerals (they had already eaten much of my carefully crafted Teflon contaminated dinner by the time Teflon was raised. )

6 of the things you list are allergies or serious health issues, and veganism is a not exactly an extreme diet these days.

Can you really not find any enjoyment in cooking for these people at all? Isn't it a creative challenge to work out things that will work for everyone, and won't it give you the chance to try something different?

Of course it's easier if there are no allergies but people aren't inventing dietary requirements to irritate you.

I think at a certain point you have to just tell people that it's too difficult to cater to every unique need/preference and work together to find a solution. As a PP suggested, potluck is a good way around it. Either that or don't do a sit-down meal. Personally, I sometimes wish it were more common to have gatherings that weren't focused around food.

This 💯 %

Demanding what cooking equipment can or can’t be used is beyond ridiculous. At that point I would have just laughed that anyone would even begin to think it ok to make such a request

Those of us dealing with multiple allergies usually offer to bring our own food but are generally breezily assured it'll be fine. They we arrive and it's really, really not fine. It's either not allergy friendly after all (the party with only cucumber was a low point), or it's accompanied by a huge amount of complaining about how hard it was. We know it's hard. We live with it daily.

I carry food in my handbag for DS these days.

DS had six allergens at one point, DD one but it was a different one.

Thank goodness. I don’t have friends who are fussy. Proper allergies, of course I’m super careful. Generally if you’ve people coming over and make enough different food everyone will find something they’ll eat.

I sympathise. You want to accommodate everyone and ensure that nobody is ill, but it does make catering a chore, rather than a joy which is a shame for the host. My ds is lactose intolerant, his gf is vegetarian, my dd doesn’t eat anything spicy and her boyfriend is a coeliac with type one diabetes. I was doing well with a roast until ds’s gf came along! She is lovely and very accommodating and will happily eat a roast without the meat, but am still searching for the perfect dish that everyone can eat.
edited to add - DD’s boyfriend is allergic to sesame too.