to think the NHS is hindering my recovery?

I think this is the crux of the matter, you knew this was the agreement from the outset and now you want to change the rules. This is the only reason I think it’s unreasonable expectation - I understand wishing the rules were different, but they have been transparent with you from day 1. They haven’t misled you and they are not stopping you from getting therapy. This is for everyone’s protection because dependency looks different for different people, and it’s very hard to spot dependency objectively. You don’t feel dependent and Jane is trying to be accommodating but she also knows the rules and tbh it doesn’t help she is getting your hopes up here knowing it’s in her contract too!

please don’t let this put you off seeking more help if you need it. I don’t think that’s good advice for anyone and DOES suggest a level of dependency on this therapist if you believe only she can help you, this is going down an unsafe road that can lead to more harm.

This is a conflict of interest and not as clearcut as you state. Different NHS Trusts and different departments have varying policies around this. For some it's a never situation and for some it's allowable after a period of time has elapsed.

It is nearly always the case that once you've seen a therapist through an agency or organisation, in this case the NHS, you can't see them privately. I think it's to protect both parties and prevent dependency. However, in some cases you can see the same person after six months of no contact. I saw a therapist through an agency once - publicly funded - but she left to focus on her private work. She told me that she would happily see me once six months were up. As it happened I decided not to return.

It might be worth seeing if Jane would agree to private therapy after six months.

Having worked in the NHS I do find it odd that a 'letter' from Jane's boss is involved or that this was shown to you: did you give permission for your details to be passed on to her boss? Or was it a generic email saying she's not allowed to see ex-clients?

Either way, there is never 'the one' therapist. I've have several and YES it is a pain to explain your history again, but how you do this tells the therapist a great deal about what is unresolved, and it is helpful to unpack a background. Your reluctance to seek help elsewhere is not particularly... healthy? And maybe does suggest a dependence on Jane that isn't helpful in the long run.

People saying how can the NHS dictate what OP does privately are missing the point, they have no ability or interest in dictating what patients go and do privately, but they can stipulate that their employee, Jane, doesn't transfer NHS patients to private. This is to protect patients. And it's not like working in a pizza shop where they can't tell you not to work in a supermarket on your days off. Therapists have codes of conducts they have to adhere to and need to be transparent about their care of an individual and their plans for further care.

It's a conflict of interest, because there is now a financial incentive for the NHS therapist to try and keep therapy going, not conclude treatment appropriate, to transition a client to private work, to promote dependency. It can get very messy very quickly.

OP not realising why this is and declaring they won't ever try therapy again if it isn't with Jane is kind of a sad example of why these rules need to be put in place. If OP has this sort of dependency on Jane, Jane could easily influence OP to pay for sessions indefinitely, forever, even if there is no good clinical rationale. Therapy isn't quite the same as seeing an orthopaedic consultant privately to get your hip replaced faster. The nature of your relationship is different, easier to use in a manipulative way, harder to quantify, harder to measure outcomes.

It's frustrating. I had a friend who yje NHS gave 10 sessions of therapy to. He was making good progress but felt he needed a few more sessions and the NHS said no - 10 only and if you want to go private you need to find a new therapist. Standard policy in their area and no exceptions. It was really annoying.

Jane won't be able to see clients she see's on the NHS privately. It's not you per se, but no therapist would be allowed to transfer NHS patients to be private. This is common in all therapy services.

Might have missed it but how did the nhs even know you were seeing Jane as a private patient? Were you trying to get it paid for by the nhs?

If you can afford private therapy then it really is worth trying to find another therapist who you can see for as long as you need.

They can put it in her contract which the therapist has to agree.

This was my thought.

I have seen multiple types of drs on the nhs and then seen them privately both via nhs then private and privately then on nhs.

Its an odd policy to refuse a private patient

Jane has said she’s not allowed to continue and shown a letter from her boss. I believe her. Upsetting for OP to have it suggested that her trusted therapist is lying.

We would also not allow nhs patients to then be seen privately. It could be seen as promoting private business through your nhs role and a breach of care standards/conflict of interest.

Find someone new. You may find a fresh new perspective.

I've declined clients as a manager on behalf of my team before, where I think the relationship is draining the staff member or too close to maintain professional boundaries. Sometimes when the staff member wants me to, and sometimes myself as a decision for their well-being.

This is the first I’ve heard that the NHS is short of mental health patients.

I had no problems switching from seeing my therapist on the NHS to private. I don’t see how the NHS can have any say in what a private patient does.

If Jane's private therapy is not funded by the NHS I don't see how they can dictate who she sees?

Use the summaries from Jane to find a new private therapist. There are other good ones like her out there. Jane is not the "cure" - your progress is down to you taking responsibility and engaging a programme of treatment that any good psychologist can provide. You can bring forward the work you have already done with a new person.

Sounds like Jane doesn't want you as a client. I seen private patients and NHS patients. I can tell the NHS patients where I am but if they find me of their free will that's their choice....I just used to inform my boss.

Not unusual though. I had the same working for an EAP. They don't want therapists using the service to get private clients.

Gently, YABU

The reason you can't arrange to see Jane privately after seeing her in her NHS clinic is that the rule is in place to protect vulnerable people from exploitation. Otherwise it would open the door to NHS therapists influencing their clients to carry on but pay privately. People who might not really be able to afford it might become dependent on that specific therapist and feel they 'need' to keep seeing them. It might affect the work done under the NHS, because instead of delivering treatment with an end date, the patient and therapist might presume that this end date (which is set for a good reason: to preserve resources, to adhere to an evidence based protocol with a set dose, to ensure dependency isn't promoted: the NHS is very much 'let's get you to a place where you can manage your own mental health' unless you have a severe mental illness like schizophrenia, psychosis etc.).

Jane won't go against what her employer says and put her job at risk to see you privately. Depending on her modality she will have her own code of ethics, however even if it doesn't explicitly state that NHS therapists can't see patients privately after their NHS treatment ends, she may well feel herself it's inappropriate, have discussed it in supervision, and have recognised it's a conflict of interests and not in your best interest.

It may be possible for them to make an exception to 'only two treatments with one therapist' and for Jane to accept you back for treatment under the NHS for this new presenting problem, you can always try, but in general I would say gently that it's lovely you've had such a positive experience with Jane, but I wouldn't discount that you will likely find another therapist who is equally as good, who may have different fresh perspectives, who can help you just as Jane did. After all a therapist can only do so much, it's what the client does with that support and info that makes the difference. And if you benefited form Jane's support before, that is because you did the work. So I would say telling yourself you won't ever try therapy again because it isn't with Jane is a bit unfortunate and a potential sign of that dependency that therapists try to avoid promoting.

@SoNiceToComeHomeTo
The nhs limits the number of sessions it offers so how can they say no, you can't carry on in a private capacity with the same therapist?
It seems way too controlling.