How long after death of partner before dating?

I don’t know if you’ve been in that position @Gertrudesinthegutter but surely even if you have; you can only speak for your own experiences.
what bollocks that the relationship can’t have been deep if you’re ready to move on sooner 🙄

I would have judged a quick coupling (under 6 Months) more out of concern for any children trying to adapt, and any potential for complex grief.

But having just spent 6 months doing a hard shift of end of life care for my husband - I wouldn't judge at all as long as you were happy and excited for a new future.

Life is too short.

Not very nice - what a silly thing to say. Op asked for opinions and I gave mine - If somebody is ready to move on and date so quickly after a long term relationship, I can only surmise that the relationship wasn’t that deep in the first place.

Most people would still be reeling 8 months after the death of a loved one, let alone ready to date.

How would his family react? It may be worth mentioning to them so they aren't shocked.

I would judge under a year I think and I couldn’t even tell you why. Just being honest.

I wouldn't judge, you move on when the time is right for you personally, anyone who does judge is irrelevant

There’s no right or wrong answer. As an older single woman, I’d be very wary of dating someone who had only been widowed a number of months rather than years but I’d also feel the same about someone separated and not yet divorced. It’s sometimes too much say to jump into a rebound without realising that’s what you’re doing.

I think that's where the widow/er needs to be very careful

I don't blame them for seeing people but I think they should keep them away from their children for quite a long time

I think its more about why you are dating rather than timescale..ie I’m dating because I am scared to be on my own is very different to Im ready for love again.

I was widowed 4 years ago and haven't dated yet. I'm in a young widows support group and some dated within a year, others haven't dated at all. No judgement from me - you know how you feel and everyone has different reactions to loss. Wishing you all the best

I wouldn't judge you. I'm not in your shoes, I don't know how you're coping, if you're lonely, if you're struggling being alone. Just be careful, there are men out there looking for vulnerable women. I wish you happiness OP.

Wait for what?

@Hannaahhhh j could have phrased it better.
its fine to be honest, i didnt mean it wasn’t nice to say that opinion, its the fact that people would judge is what I don’t think is very nice; in my opinion. And not sure anyone can or should if they haven’t been in that position themselves.

Sorry for your loss OP
My dad died suddenly at 47, I was 15 and my brother 11. I can't recall the exact months, but I think 6-9mths afterwards, mum joined a group for singles that did outings. Not specifically a dating group at all, just more about day trips, hikes, group meals out etc. She started seeing a man. More a friendship thing initially, but I found it too soon.
Do you have children OP?

I had a date with a man 14 months after his wife died- he was so not ready to be in a relationship! A female friend, female companion yes.

On the other hand my FIL would have been fine to date 8 moths after MIL passed , although he took it much more slowly.

The OP literally asked for opinions. What's not nice about being honest? I'd judge someone who was ready to move on 8 months in. I wouldn't outwardly judge, but I'd think to myself jeez they could have waited a bit longer seems like only 5 mins.

Chatting to other widowers can be helpful. I think it depends on how a spouse died too and ages of kids.
A long protracted illness and chance to say goodbyes then a person probably ready much sooner than a sudden death.

Friend dated quickly after the death of her husband in her late 30s. She admits now it was a car crash. She jumped into dating within 6 months. She was grieving and vulnerable and lonely. Family were horrible to her. Looking back she says she was so lost and didn't care what other people said.

My father's wife died suddenly last year. It took us all by surprise and was incredibly tragic. They were absolutely made for each other and a wonderful couple.
It was about 8 months after that he admitted he didn't want to be alone and began to look for companionship. He's not looking to replace what he had, but he feels ready to share his life with someone else.
None of us in the family could begrudge him that. He has been lonely without his wife and why should he be alone to satisfy the sensibilities of the rest of us?

Everyone takes their own time. Some after a short while, some never. There is no right answer except that when it feels right, it feels right.

Do you have children? If so, I'd be a bit cautious since they must be teens or younger, since you were with your late partner for 20 years. If you have no children (or if you had adult children), I'd say go ahead whenever you feel ready.

A friend got together with someone after just over a year (assume she did some dating before finding them) after about a 12 year marriage with kids. I was really pleased for her so I wouldn't judge you at all

Do you have children OP? They may find it difficult to deal with if it's too soon.

That’s not very nice. On what basis would you judge?

People may judge … but provided they aren’t your close relatives who cares.

Judgemental people often have narrow views of many things and ultimately haven’t stepped in your shoes or know your circumstances or feelings.

Do what is right for you….. but just make sure you are really ready … because if you date and it’s a horrible experience or you end up in a relationship that doesn’t go well you need to be sure you are resilient enough to cope with it.

Good luck x

I met my current bf 9 months after his wife died, he had only just started online dating and was looking for something light, warm, friendly and fun (in his words).
We/he did keep it discreet as I think he was afraid of being judged or upsetting people close to her.

One thing he noticed is that things like her birthday, the anniversary of her death etc, seemed almost harder for other people than him. He said it was like people who didn’t see her that often thought of her on those days and it felt more fresh to them, but he was living with it every day and he and their child had to adjust and did adjust to her day to day absence much more quickly.

As the other person involved, I was worried it was too soon in terms of him being emotionally available to me but we kept it very light at the beginning then it naturally developed into something more committed and deep.

Whatever you want, just make sure you don't go leaping into a relationship in a crazy rush because you're still grieving.

I see of lot of my widower clients start new relationships within 6 months, and their children are often not happy. It depends how you handle it though.