Young adults and learning to drive

Learning to navigate public transport independently is probably a better life skill.

I've thought for years that the learning age needs to increase. It was set when the vast majority of young adults left school at 15/16 and had been working and functioning as young adults for a couple of years before driving.
The majority now do not enter adulthood until much older.
Driving is not a child's activity. It requires maturity and judgement.

Driving is a privilege, not a right.

I think people underestimate just how expensive insurance is.

My friend had her car written off at 23. Not her fault, a drunk driver smashed into her. She was lucky to stay alive, the drunk driver was sent to prison and all the rest.

Her insurance sky rocketed to nearly £10k. Because of an incident that wasn't her fault. She had to scrape it together, with the help of multiple family members and a loan, because she had to drive to work. But it's just ridiculous how expensive it is.

I grew up in Leeds and passed at 17. I am in London and both my kids passed before they went to uni. It was a priority for me to give them that chance and luckily we could afford it.

Having said that, the older one is a nervous driver and doesn’t want to drive yet. Whereas the younger one loves whizzing off to see her friends in my car.

I am not pressuring the older one to drive. She has her licence. When she is ready to commit to practising, she will.

Car insurance costs a bomb for young adults so I doubt they will get their own cars till 25.

I didn't learn until I was 22.

Learning is expensive, time consuming and it's almost impossible to get a test. Insurance is incredibly expensive, as is running a car. Yes his dad ferrying him around is a pain, but his dad is an adult. Clearly he copes day to day.

Well it seems like this isn't a case of them needing to drive but more making them use alternative means

Where we used to live a property with parking was much more expensive than one without, so much so it was cheaper for me to buy a garage for £26k. We now live in another city, our car is a pointless moneypit as the cost of parking anywhere is higher than using public transport.

I didn't drive until my late 20s as had no need for a car living in the city. The problem isn't that they don't drive, it's that they are sponging off you instead of paying for an Uber or public transport like any normal adult with their own money.

As is so often said on MN - you have a dh problem.

My dh would laugh if one of our dc (all adults and earning) asked him to pay for a taxi for them.

I don't get why you're so shocked a young person wouldn't want to learn to drive. It's a huge financial outlay and a hassle to take lessons and tests and if it's not something he needs, it won't seem worth it. It's also not environmentally friendly, which matters to a lot of young people.

I'm someone who didn't learn to drive until my mid 30s. I managed fine until I had a baby, then I found a car would be useful, so I learned. I live in a city so before that so I just didn't need it.

I learnt to drive at 17 in Norfolk and have pretty much had a car since (now 35), aside for a couple of years at uni. I can't imagine life without driving/ having a car. It's so convenient it's something that I would say is 100% worth paying to put the work into learning.

I now live in Leeds which has ok, but not great public transport. If pushed, I could manage without a car but my wife needs a car for her commute to work (school teacher in a neighbouring town) as it wouldn't be possible on public transport, and would cost £30+ each way in a taxi. I often use public transport locally as it's easier (I would get the train or cycle to work at my previous job) but trying to do any long distance or semi rural uk travel on public transport is a nightmare, and the price of trains these days is just crazy.

For instance, I wanted to visit some friends in London recently and it would have cost over £200 for my wife and I to get the train, so we drove, and it cost us half a tank of diesel (about £30). As others have said, I don't have an issue with people who chose not to drive and are self sufficient, but used to find it annoying when non driving friends expected lifts to places which would involve me going out of my way to pick them up, and weren't willing to contribute to fuel costs. Luckily most of the worst offenders have passed their tests and have cars now!

If you live in a big city, driving is pointless, as long as you never leave the big city.

I didn’t learn to drive until I was 25/26. I left home before 18 so never had the chance to have lessons as I was always studying and working simultaneously. Then when I finished my studies I was doing crazy hours at work (60-80 hour weeks) and lived in big cities so didn’t need to drive, nor had the time for it.

Moved somewhere smaller and not well connected at 24, and spent a couple of years using public transport which took 2-3 times as long as the car would have, but I never ever expected my parents or friends to ferry me around.

I was an adult and earning so I either got the train or paid for a taxi. My family also wouldn’t have entertained multiple lifts everywhere. I only occasionally got a lift if they were driving in the same direction, or was collected from the airport if I had heavy luggage and they weren’t at work.

That is if there is Uber and public transport in the area

We offered to pay for our DC's driving lessons, but only as long as they were in education at school/uni. Once they were earning they would be paying themselves. That definitely encouraged them to get on with it!

I learned to drive at 24. Live in London. To me it meant freedom. Freedom from catching the last train (and the walk in the dark to my home), freedom from having to do several food shops a week (this was before online ordering), freedom to just get in my car at any time and go anywhere!
Sure I take many trips by public transport especially if going in to the centre but I love having my car!!

I learned to drive when I was 18 and was glad I did but I can definitely see why young people don’t or put it off if they have to fund it all themselves. One of my cousins is currently doing her lessons and is debating just stopping them altogether, its £40 an hour where we are so £160 a month on lessons, her parents don’t have a car she could use once she passes so she’d need money to buy a car, she wouldn’t be approved for car finance without a guarantor which she doesn’t have and she’d be looking at probably £2000+ for first years insurance. It’s not cheap and I can see where faced with those costs it doesn’t feel worth it especially if not driving doesn’t really impact your life because there’s always someone to give you a lift.

I was motivated to pass my test so that I didn’t have to keep getting bus/train places which was expensive and also took AGES (very unreliable and infrequent service where we are), I can see where if I lived in a city with good public transport or if I had someone giving me a lift everywhere I wanted to go then passing my test and getting myself set up with a car and insurance wouldn’t have felt worth the money.

My honest opinion - for those that can afford it / fit lessons into their life

If you do not drive but manage to sort yourself out getting from a to b like an adult, fine

If you do not drive but expect others to constantly taxi you around out of laziness, not fine

Might be different in marriages where one doesn’t drive but one is happy to do the driving

I personally get frustrated by friends who have the money to drive, choose not to but constantly moan for lifts or moan about their partner not taking them x y z on the weekend. Get your own car!

Bloody hell. DS is 10 and having driving lessons, and drives my car on private land. He's already itching to pass his test!

Yanbu but whilst other people keep ferrying them everywhere then they won’t see or feel the need to learn. Say no to lifts so that they either have the inconvenience of public transport or the expense of a taxi. Very silly still being driven around everywhere by parents in your mid 20s.

For me, not learning to drive is quite a weird choice to make (obviously, if finances etc allow). My mum made it extremely clear that, once I was 17, mums taxi was over. I can understand if you live in a large city and seldom leave not bothering but other than that I think it’s quite a lazy choice to inflict on others to have to accommodate you.

I'm in my 20s and I can't drive neither can my mum I just don't have the desire I don't think it's a necessity, get them to use uber or public transport

I learned at 20 but through a combination of university and work choices didn't actually drive until I was around 28, it was like starting all over again tbh. I had to pay for refresher lessons as it just wasn't ingrained.
I don't think it's necessarily wise to do it till you need to. Apparently The average cost to learn to drive in the UK is between £1,125 and £2,700. That's a LOT of money.