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Original poster

Friend still hasn't paid, how to chase up AGAIN

103 replies

knowledegeablyclueless · 18/12/2024 11:31

My friend has form for this.

Instance 1: we agreed we would go halves on a service that we both needed. I paid for it upfront (£90) and she said she would transfer. Took about a week and a half.

Instance 2: I mentioned I was going to a shop, she asked if I could pick up some pet food for her and she would 'send the money immediately' to the total of £50. Again took a week to get the money.

Last week: I mentioned I was selling something and she asked if she could have it. We agreed on a price (£60) and I said that I was passing her way, so I could drop it off for her. Low and behold, a week later I still don't have the money.

I know it's 'only' a week, but I need the money (which is why I was selling).

Have sent a couple of text reminders but have received nothing back.

OP posts:
Mamasperspective · 23/12/2024 21:12

Turn up at her house and tell her you need the money. In future when she asks for anything, just tell her you need money first otherwise you can't help her

Scorps1511 · 23/12/2024 20:51

knowledegeablyclueless · 23/12/2024 19:27

Okay so we've established that I'm the world's biggest idiot 🙄

Nope, she still hasn't paid.

Dropped it off on the 12th and didn't hear from her.

Sent text to ask for payment to X details on the 15th.

Didn't hear anything.

Sent another text on the 18th saying if you still want X please can you send the money tonight and she replied that she would do it that night.

aaaaand nothing.

I'd message her and ask her to tell you a time tomorrow that suits to come and collect said item so you can sell it elsewhere. I'd also steer clear of doing monetary favours for her again.

Unfortunately atelykind hearted people who do things for the right reasons can be taken advantage of so easily by people like your friend. I don't think you are the world's biggest idiot, I just think you clearly like to have faith that people aren't this sucky and I admire that quality.

Hope you get it sorted soon

IhadaStripeyDeckchair · 23/12/2024 19:35

FFS you know you'll have to chase her & wait for the money - why did you give it to her before she'd paid?

Idve put it online & told her she if paid first she could come & collect it otherwise it will go to whoever does pay first.

Learn your lesson - never pay anything for her up front. If she asks just say no, I always have to chase you for money & I'm not subsidising your life to the detriment of mine

MyrtleStrumpet · 23/12/2024 19:31

knowledegeablyclueless · 23/12/2024 19:27

Okay so we've established that I'm the world's biggest idiot 🙄

Nope, she still hasn't paid.

Dropped it off on the 12th and didn't hear from her.

Sent text to ask for payment to X details on the 15th.

Didn't hear anything.

Sent another text on the 18th saying if you still want X please can you send the money tonight and she replied that she would do it that night.

aaaaand nothing.

Fool me once, shame on me.
Fool me twice, shame on you.

She's shown you who she is. Don't lend her money ever again.

Potentially leave the friendship.

AllTangledUpInTinselAndTiaras · 23/12/2024 19:29

Then she's not a friend, and you know now to pull right back from this 'friendship'.

I'm sorry you've not had the money yet...I hope you're ok for Christmas etc.💐

Original poster
knowledegeablyclueless · 23/12/2024 19:27

Okay so we've established that I'm the world's biggest idiot 🙄

Nope, she still hasn't paid.

Dropped it off on the 12th and didn't hear from her.

Sent text to ask for payment to X details on the 15th.

Didn't hear anything.

Sent another text on the 18th saying if you still want X please can you send the money tonight and she replied that she would do it that night.

aaaaand nothing.

OP posts:
Bjorkdidit · 23/12/2024 17:24

Has she paid yet? If not, call her and put her on the spot, harder to ignore than a text. Tell her you need the money for rent/bills/food/DC Christmas presents etc, please transfer it now and don't hang up until she does.

CannotWaitForSummervibes · 23/12/2024 17:10

You should have demanded money upfront the second time and you should have said no I’m not selling it to you because you don’t pay. Use your words and tell her NO.

KarmaKat · 23/12/2024 17:05

Fool me once and all that

NeedToChangeName · 23/12/2024 16:49

I don't think a week is that long to wait, but if it bothers you, then you need to make it clear she needs to pay before you'll buy stuff for her

BuildbyNumbere · 23/12/2024 16:43

How many times does it take for you to learn your lesson???

ChristmasinBrighton · 23/12/2024 16:40

Well obviously you should have asked for the money up front.

All you can do now is continue to hassle her for the money she owes you.

Winter2020 · 23/12/2024 16:38

Stop being out of pocket.
If you want to book a gig/holiday/service "If you send me the money for your ticket I can book for us" (no money no gig)

Dog food: "Transfer me the money and i can pick it up for you" (no money no dog food)

Selling item. "Transfer me the money and I'll pop it round"

If she says she doesn't have the money then just say you can't afford it and leave it.

LushLemonTart · 23/12/2024 16:32

Tubetrain · 18/12/2024 11:32

Oh come on, wise up. After the first episode you should have stopped ever advancing her money. Why did you give her the thing without her handing over the cash?

I know. Once bitten and all that.

Bloonket · 23/12/2024 16:18

itemized text, beg say can’t pay your rent. Be bossy about it.

Pinkpurpletulips · 23/12/2024 16:17

Your friend should be the one embarrassed about the late payment, not you who is out of pocket. I don't think it much matters how you phrase it because she has the hide of an elephant to do this in the first place. I'd never trust her again with money and to be frank I'd probably drop her as a friend.

Skyrainlight · 18/12/2024 14:54

I'd use Christmas as a deadline. X, can you please transfer the money you owe me for 1, 2 & 3 before Christmas? It's an expensive month so it would be good to have it now. Thanks.

And I'd never lend them money again.

Butchyrestingface · 18/12/2024 14:49

You know what Albert Einstein (or Rita Mae Brown, depending on who you believe) said was the definition of insanity, don't you, @knowledegeablyclueless ?

mummabubs · 18/12/2024 14:29

Sounds like she needs boundaries. If it was a one-off I'd be inclined to give her some leeway on it but it sounds like a reliable pattern of being unreliable!

For this instance - I'd send a text today along the lines of "Hi, I haven't heard back from you about the £60 for xx yet. I need the money by Friday, if this isn't possible please let me know as I have another person who wants it".

For next time - as others say, don't advance her money!

Sassybooklover · 18/12/2024 14:29

Once you receive the cash this time, never pay for anything for her again. You need to be firm with her that you need the money. You were selling the item, because you needed the money.

Mrsbloggz · 18/12/2024 14:26

I would do it back to her, find some way to get her to front you 60 quid and don't pay it back.
But as said you also need to stop being a mug (sorry)

NiftyKoala · 18/12/2024 14:22

Tubetrain · 18/12/2024 11:32

Oh come on, wise up. After the first episode you should have stopped ever advancing her money. Why did you give her the thing without her handing over the cash?

Agreed. Fool me once shame on me Fool me Tice same on me.

Hellskitchen24 · 18/12/2024 14:12

ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 18/12/2024 13:14

To polite…

’Sarah. I need the money. ‘

Show quote history

I start polite then I go mean. I’m no contact with a family member over this exact scenario. Started nice, then went for the jugular which she didn’t like, so we are no contact. I got my money back though.

SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament · 18/12/2024 13:51

"Flakey fucker, I need that 60 quid today to buy Christmas presents. Can you send it to X right now? Let me know when it's done, ta."

Or send the boys round.

And don't sell/pick up anything for her again. You were generous with three strikes.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 18/12/2024 13:47

Viviennemary · 18/12/2024 13:34

I don't think you are actually being unreasonable. But a week isn't that long to take to pay back. Don't led her money again or pay upfront. You can't afford to which is fair enough but don't do it.

A week is too long to pay back. If someone doesn't have the money to pay their friend back immediately, they need to let them know 'Can you wait until payday for the money?'. This is a friend doing them a favour, not an invoice from a company with a two week payment window.