Red Hair

If something as simple as your hair colour makes you incompatible (in his eyes) imagine what other issues are going to come up. He’s going to want to change so much about you, that’s not a relationship you need to be pursuing. Keep being you & only change your hair colour to colours you want, not for a man that can’t cope with red hair…

I think your hair colour is gorgeous and just wish mine was thick enough to try it! However, he has told you that he would feel uncomfortable moving forward from a very casual basis with you because of it and I don't see anything wrong in him telling you how it is tbh. I've always preferred a partner to be honest about stuff like this rather than string me along. Yes, he's not for you, but I wouldn't blame him for speaking out however much I disagree with his views.

"I feel for you if something like a hair colour could impact you so significantly. Good luck going forward"

Giant red flag 🚩 this as other have said is the first stage of control and abuse. In the bin he goes 🗑️

I'd be very concerned about how far his controlling behaviour will go. He may be testing the water by trying to get you to change your hair...pretty soon he might tell you how he 'prefers' you to wear (or not wear) certain clothes, hang out with certain people.... A year from now would you recognise yourself?
Please save yourself a lot of hassle and tell him you change for no one.

Tell him after consideration you think his narrow minded and judgemental attitude isn't a good fit in your world.

What total hypocrisy: he obviously found you attractive with your hair as it is but is assuming other people will judge you for it.
Your hair style and colour are part of who you are. They are how you present your personality and character to the world. So you shouldn't change them for any one, unless that's what you want to do. Your body, your choice

Ask him who Louis Haigh is

Senior management, finance. This would count against you being promoted here, as would any visible tattoos.

I voted YABU because I think YABU to even consider changing it. He met you as you are, he should take you as you are.

It doesn’t sound like you are compatible. There are men out here who would swoon over gorgeous hair like that! It would be like dating Ariel 😍 Never ever change it for anyone other than yourself.

Your hair looks great!
Wish I could do this with my very fine locks.
45 yo.
I couldn't even bother to kick him in the arse, OP.
Don't ever change for a man.

What absolute nonsense.

Having coloured hair - which is in great condition - is nowhere the same.

This guy is making looking conservative into a fine art.

Absolutely this.

I'm normally an advocate for compromise on Mumsnet threads, but the important thing is knowing which things to compromise on and which things not to compromise on.

I think this is the sort of thing not to compromise on.

He sounds totally up himself frankly.

As if anyone cares a jot.

At worst he's a prick, and at best he's a whimp who cares too much about what others think.
It's doubtful he's the nice guy you think. He knew what you looked like from the start, don't let any man get away with trying to change you. Your hair probably reflects your personality and celebrates you sense of individuality, don't let him take that away - next!

I can still remember my ex turning up at my house with a new tattoo, on his bloody neck! Massive great thing and I was pissed off. To my mind he now looked like a thug, which he absolutely wasnt, and I didn’t want to be in a relationship with someone that I couldn’t take anywhere fancy or who looked like he brawled for a living.

I think this might be a bit similar. I’m sure my ex is now somewhere living his best life with someone who loves a neck tattoo and I am happy in a forever relationship with a very corporate looking man who can wear a suit and not look like a bailiff.

I have some serious hair envy right now you literally have my dream hair! Chuck him, anyone who can’t accept you as you are is not worth your time

“His world” sounds dull, off he fucks.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your hair. He sounds like a tool. What other completely benign aspects of your appearance and personality is he going to demand you change to fit in with ‘his world’?

I'm going to take a wild guess that your hair colour hasn't stopped him having sex with you.

He’s an arse. Your hair is beautiful. I am envious

I could have believed those more 20 years ago. We hate to admit it but we do have certain expectations and I can see a very stuffy corporate environment not taking people seriously. Does seem ridiculous when it's a partner, but it's possible in some pretty limited environments still, possibly? I thought we'd loosened up a lot. Mind you, we just make up new rules to replace the ones we ditched!