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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Red Hair

130 replies

Motherland2624 · 18/12/2024 09:38

Hi 👋 i was wondering if i could get some help from you wise ladies
im 46 and have bright red hair its long well maintained and in great condition Ive had it for 10 years now i do sometimes mix it up with different shades but mostly stick to this colour
Ive recently met someone nice guy (I think ) high up corporate job nice lifestyle very casual which is ideal for me at this time in my life
He recently mentioned that my hair prevent would him from progressing to anything more serious in the future because the colour doesn’t fit in his world,I was a taken a back I’m a confident person or maybe naive I never imagined my hair colour would be a problem to anyone so AIBU should I go back to my natural colour I’ve put in a pic of my hair happy to take criticism

Red Hair
OP posts:
DaringLion · 18/12/2024 12:38

Have your hair the colour you want your choice no one elses(by the way I love it)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 18/12/2024 12:32

Anotherparkingthread · 18/12/2024 11:58

I couldn't be with somebody so weak minded that they cared what other think enough for it to be an issue.

Also love neck tattoos to all the posters ragging on them lol, I'm considering having one that goes up my neck.

Edited

Well he's not 'weak-minded', is he? He knows his mind and has told the OP. The OP should look as she wants to look so has a decision to make.

As for your liking for neck tattoos, do what you like, nobody cares but you know they will judge and make assumptions of you, fair or unfair. Up to you though, totally.

Llttledrummergirl · 18/12/2024 12:20

Keep the hair, lose the arse.

merryandbrightdelight · 18/12/2024 12:18

I LOVE the colour of your hair! Get rid of the man, doesn't suit you

Somanyquestionswithoutanswers · 18/12/2024 12:17

Bin the man not the hair

ItTook9Years · 18/12/2024 12:16

I’ve recently met someone nice guy (I think ) high up corporate job nice lifestyle very casual which is ideal for me at this time in my life

I have a “high up corporate job” and bright purple hair. 🤷🏻‍♀️

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 18/12/2024 12:14

Do not change your hair colour for him!!

He's being ridiculous.
I live in a small village and my hair colour can be blonde one day and pink/lilac another. I get nothing but compliments.
I also have a very serious job.

EvieR · 18/12/2024 12:14

PonyPatter44 · 18/12/2024 10:02

You're a Marilyn and he wants a Jackie. He sounds a bit inadequate, bin him off.

Great comment! Exactly this. Don't change.

spinningisthebest · 18/12/2024 12:13

Blimey trial by sherry for corporate jobs went out with the ark. What nonsense. Bin him off immediately. He doesn't deserve such gorgeous hair in his life.

LookItsMeAgain · 18/12/2024 12:13

I've just gone that colour from an auburn red as I was tired with the auburn colour.

Don't listen to this man. He doesn't know what he's talking about!

coolkatt · 18/12/2024 12:11

Oh sorry, meant to add, get rid of this lying freak now. Tell
Him it's 2025.
Or is he married?

coolkatt · 18/12/2024 12:10

Ur hair is cool.
Side note. I'm a brunette who has tried every single colour known to man in reds/oranges/auburns/.
Lifetime wannabe ginger. Best colour of hair ever.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 18/12/2024 12:09

Yeah, put him in the bin and buy a lipstick to match that hair...

Lifestooshort71 · 18/12/2024 12:03

I didn't read anywhere that he's asked her to change her hair colour - he's just said it doesn't work for him. Why the pile on?

ItGhoul · 18/12/2024 12:02

Runninginthenight · 18/12/2024 10:16

Senior management, finance. This would count against you being promoted here, as would any visible tattoos.

Sure, but the the OP isn't the one working in that world and seeking promotion. Her boyfriend is. He thinks her hair will harm HIS chances of promotion (and that it would embarrass him in the small village he lives in).

Do you seriously work for a company that a) somehow knows what everyone's partner looks like and b) keeps that info on file and blocks promotions on that basis? Because that would be really fucking weird and possibly not legal.

Anotherparkingthread · 18/12/2024 11:58

I couldn't be with somebody so weak minded that they cared what other think enough for it to be an issue.

Also love neck tattoos to all the posters ragging on them lol, I'm considering having one that goes up my neck.

ItGhoul · 18/12/2024 11:53

He recently mentioned that my hair prevent would him from progressing to anything more serious in the future because the colour doesn’t fit in his world

Dump him now. He's a controlling cunt and he doesn't deserve you.

Seriously, stop worrying about your red hair and start worrying about the massive red flag this man's waving at you. Christ alive.

Nobody is 'prevented from progressing' by the colour of their girlfriend's hair. He's just saying it to make you feel shit.

arcticpandas · 18/12/2024 11:52

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 18/12/2024 10:09

I can still remember my ex turning up at my house with a new tattoo, on his bloody neck! Massive great thing and I was pissed off. To my mind he now looked like a thug, which he absolutely wasnt, and I didn’t want to be in a relationship with someone that I couldn’t take anywhere fancy or who looked like he brawled for a living.

I think this might be a bit similar. I’m sure my ex is now somewhere living his best life with someone who loves a neck tattoo and I am happy in a forever relationship with a very corporate looking man who can wear a suit and not look like a bailiff.

Nothing worse than a neck tattoo🤢..

villagecrafts · 18/12/2024 11:51

Mistletoewench · 18/12/2024 11:49

My god your hair is beautiful. Keep the hair ditch the guy

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This ^^

And ask him if he'd say the same to Professor Alice Roberts.

hopelessholly1 · 18/12/2024 11:51

I hope you ditched his sorry ass!

Howinthehelldidthishappen · 18/12/2024 11:50

My hair is a very bright unnatural colour. And it will stay that colour. Or any other colour I want it to be.
I'm not changing it for anyone. Especially not to 'fit in'

Mistletoewench · 18/12/2024 11:49

Motherland2624 · 18/12/2024 09:50

He said he personally doesn’t care what my hair colour is but he lives in a small village and my hair wouldn’t fit in he doesn’t like to stand out apparently

Show quote history

My god your hair is beautiful. Keep the hair ditch the guy

arcticpandas · 18/12/2024 11:46

Motherland2624 · 18/12/2024 09:50

He said he personally doesn’t care what my hair colour is but he lives in a small village and my hair wouldn’t fit in he doesn’t like to stand out apparently

Show quote history

I am conservative when it comes to looks, not opinions and I would not have been attracted to anyone who wishes to stick out in the first place. He is attracted to you so he's just afraid if other people's opinions about you. Sounds like he's got some growing up to do.

livingafulllife · 18/12/2024 11:44

Op i dont like it I LOVE IT It looks great.
I have red wine hair i like different why blend in when you can stand out.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 18/12/2024 11:42

Don't change how you look for any person.

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