Does DH spend too much time gaming? Or is this fine?

Nothing wrong with gaming. Just it's too much.
When do you talk with each other, go out together, spend time together? DH and I do lots of our own thing but we also try and spend at least three nights a week together either in or out of the house is usually a bit more.
He also is doing far too little exercise. Just because of people like equally as unfit does not make it okay. He should be doing these three lots of aerobic exercise every week. And walking for about an hour a day. We all should.

It better not be or else we will be truly fucked as a nation!

From what you say, he's spending about 4 hours a day gaming on average. That is on the high side, but could be worse. It would be better if he could cut out the daytime gaming so he didn't have to extend his working day to accommodate it.

Exactly! MN'ers are very odd when it comes to games and screens though, even tough they all spend a considerable amount of time on one when they post on here 🙊

Me too. He sounds like a good partner. Let him do his thing! It's not as if he's neglecting his responsibilities or getting pissed while he does it and a walk a day is not bad.

Gaming after you've gone to bed, with just a once-per-week late finish - not a problem, particularly given he's pulling his weight.

It does though sound like the daytime gaming could be replaced with more family time.

And I do think that grown adults who are dismissive of gaming as a whole, which is at least as diverse a medium as TV or film (and often more social or beneficial) are a bit simple-minded.

Laughable that people are saying that watching TV together is somehow 'quality time' - like silently staring at the same screen is somehow different to silently staring at different screens.

You know what gives me the ick? That bloody phrase and anyone who uses it.

Yawn

I can't see that he's doing anything wrong, you say he works hard, has a successful business, helps with the kids, is a nice person, walks the dog, will spend time doing what you want at the weekend, will watch a film if you want him to and games when you go up to bed.
He sounds like a good guy.

Oh, there is. A grown woman on Mumsnet complaining about it...

Nothing sadder than a grown man playing video games.

Alright, the daytime gaming might be a problem if it's causing him to work later. But sometimes during the day I'll do something like read, shop etc because I have to work early evening to catch a meeting, hit a deadline if I'm waiting for a contribution etc.

I rarely watch tv but I read for 2-3hrs every evening. I don't see that as any different to somebody gaming.

And if my husband tried forcing me into playing sports on a Sunday I'd tell him to fuck off with himself. If I wanted to be playing sports I'd be off doing so. It isn't my thing and I'd be very inimpressed at anybody trying to control me.

How are the children going to get better without practice? Does he not care about that at all?

If he is not reading with them in the evenings (when he is lucky enough to work from home) then I think he's being quite a neglectful self-centred parent

Not to us, that's how we met more than a decade ago now!

Gaming is an addiction. The games are deliberately created thus. Gaming whilst working is eating into your joint leisure time as a family. My DH was a gamer (Xbox) and that's how he eventually got talking to another woman - he wasn't the "type" and it bloody floored me. Trust me, this is not a healthy situation for him or you.

Gaming is deeply unattractive

What about walking/hiking or cycling together as a family?

Hiking is really good because there is incline so gets your heart working out.
Same for cycling.

Walking on its own has loads of health benefits as well, so either local walks or drive to a location. You could do orienteering, bird watching, geocaching etc to make it more purposeful and fun for the kids but it's not necessary.

I'll game quite often, although I go through spells and I don't like to let it get in the way of other things. At the minute the house needs some DIY doing so most evenings I'm doing that.

DP likes watching TV series, every now and then a series comes up we both like and we'll watch together but if she's not working she can spend a few hours at a time watching shows.

Most of the time I find sitting watching TV for hours on end a bit dull, just like she would find gaming for hours on end dull, so at those times we do separate things.

I don't think she would be happy if I kept giving her the brush off to play games. Probably the same if I suggested doing something and she wanted to watch TV. Those things can wait.

I've played games since I was a kid and I'm early 40s now, love them. But they are addictive. Now more than ever, they're always working out more ways to draw people in and keep them working towards one thing or another. I bet if your DH stopped playing for a week he'd not feel the need to jump straight back in. You kind of break the interest in it.

Saying that, I'm in a broken interest phase at the minute, I'm sure when this DIY is finished I'll find the time again 😂

I think it’s ok in the sense that you go to bed at 9pm anyway Op so he can do what he wants. The only thing that would bother me is his lack of exercise.

Yes of course, I agree with your last sentence that whatever the hobby if it is interfering with family time then it’s a problem. I just get annoyed when people are so snobby about gaming (not you personally) when it can be far more interactive, requiring different skills and social than TV, scrolling the internet or even reading. I do all of these things in my down time.

I really can't see the issue with this at all. You're in bed anyway, so what does it matter if he games with his friends?

I’m guessing you’ve taken my comment personally because you like gaming, but I was posing the question at the OP’s other half, not you. It was also a question, not a statement. If something is at the expense of spending time with loved ones in the real world, then I think that’s a reasonable question to ask.

Yes and depressed people also binge watch TV shows. I love TV and gaming, they each have a place whether it’s escapism or otherwise. Many people read for escapism, or mindlessly scroll mumsnet…

Hi OP it sounds like gaming is a bit of a red herring, you would feel the same way if he was watching TV until 11pm and ultimately you want him to be more active?

He sounds a lot like my partner, works in IT, used to have a great metabolism but now hes heading into the 40s its let him down. We do some activities as a family like swimming and climbing which lead on from just taking the kids to sports activities and watching, but this isn't regular and I do worry about his health and fitness.

However, some people just really don't like sports and going outside!

Reading can be solitary but doesn't have to be. You can be reading together, alongside each other, you can discuss books with a partner or as a member of a book club, you can listen to audiobooks together, read to your kids etc.