DH has brought a kitten home, I’m so upset 🙁

After a few days put one of the other cats in with the kitten and watch
Or in reality do what the rest of the world does and just let them meet. . Millions of people have cats and kittens. It rarely ends in death and destruction. He hasn't brought home a leopard!.
If you really don't want it put it on your local facebook page and someone will snap it up in a few days. They are cats, Possibly the worlds most independent animals. Warmth, food, water , somewhere vaguely comfy and the occasional pat and lap to ssit on. I fail to see the drama but I have 9 pets so probs not the best person to ask. 😀 ( and in the country I live in pet insurance, particulary for cats is a rort). We have no insurance for our 9 pets at all.

Well it;s done now. Buy yourself a puppy and then youre square.
In reality set up a spare room ( you must have one as you said some adut children had keft home), Put in a covered bed, blanket spillproof water bowl and lots of cat crunchies, Open the window ( if you have screens or at least the blinds). Each of you go in 3 times a day and play and feed the kitten soft food. Bring a blanket from one of the other cats and swap with the blanket the kitten has been on.

OP, please tell us he is the one to clean the litter trays, arranges Vet appointments, microchipping, insurance, etc etc.
He does know they have to be chipped doesn't he?
Vets advise more than one litter tray if there is more than one cat in the house. It's actually suggested that you have the same number of trays plus one, as number of cats but that may be excessive.

I'd be concerned about his blasé attitude to family pets; she's in, she's out, we'll just get rid!

Oh gosh, he really should have spoken to you first.
We have introduced kittens to older cats several times and it has always worked out fine. But it does take a while for them to adjust.

Probably brought off some random on Gumtree poor little thing, hopefully it's healthy, at least.

No decent shelter or breeder would send a kitten home unless they'd met all the family and knew they were on-board either.

I'm surprised he managed to get one, most reputable breeders and shelters won't let people take animals during the Christmas period.

She’s devastated because her husband disrespected her and went behind her back to do something that they had already discussed and she had already said she did not want. He also put no thought into what it would mean for the existing cats and has no intention of introducing the kitten properly. His actions show a complete lack of regard for her. She’s said all this in her posts.

This is a relationship issue, not a kitten issue.

Cats aren’t babies though. This kitten will find another family and live happily ever after.

You need to think long term and not just be led by the guilt of rehoming. Cats are sentient for sure, but she’ll be fine rehomed.

Your husband is a prick but I have a good friend who did this to her husband too. She loves her husband but ultimately thinks she knows best, so admittedly is selfish. But she’s a good person. People have different thought processes and I think this could be the case here, unless he’s usually selfish and thoughtless?

They're hiding because they imagine that where there's a kitten, an angry mother cat won't be far away. They'll settle. They may even become attached to and protective of the kitten. He shouldn't have done it, but now he has, the likelihood is that you'll settle into a comfortable 3 cat household and lots of extra cuddles.

I've had 3 cats for a long while, two cats for a long while before that, and two cats now for about 4 years. I wouldn't say 3 was noticeable worse that two. Have been up to 5 or 6 when friends became unable to look after their cats, and that was manageable but I wouldn't seek to do it.

Oh, I agree lots of people just get cats without thinking of the practicalities, I just think the whole "cats are solitary animals" thing is a bit of a myth, really. Lots of people have multiple cats, after all.

I think the problems start when people don't invest in making their homes cat friendly - they just think cats are easy pets and don't think about providing what they actually need. We have three unrelated boys and while they have the odd hiss, we've never had a fight and 99% of the time they get along perfectly.

They do have free access to outside though, as well as tons of resources inside.

I'm sure you're right but I'm just speaking from my own experience. My cats have always absolutely hated all other cats, unless they've been bonded since birth. I also have friends who keep getting more cats and the cats are completely stressed out. I know of two households where one cat stays upstairs and the other stays downstairs. I feel many people get more cats for themselves with the mentality of "the more cats the better" but they don't really understand cat psychology.

I'm not sure I agree with this necessarily - if left to their own devices, cats do form colonies and will share resources and shelter.

The problems start because most homes don't have enough space for multiple unrelated cats, especially if there's no option to roam. Cats need lots of resources and the option to be apart and to pass each other without feeling threatened, and most homes just can't provide that.

It’s a cat, not a saber tooth.

Most cats do not want other cats in the house. I think this is a mistake many cat lovers make. They love cats, they think their cats will love more cats. They don't. It ends up stressing out all the cats involved.
And obviously, he shouldn't have got another cat without your agreement.

oh god, I've left all the doors in the house open for them to roam :(

It really worries me that you've gone out and left a tiny, defenceless kitten to roam in a house with two resident cats.

Please, please don't do that again. However angry you are at your husband, leaving a kitten alone with two strange adults could end in a fatality.

I meant I wouldn't be able to let him 'get rid of' the kitten now, even though I know the OP didn't really want her.

I have only skimmed the thread, so apologies if someone has already suggested this, @Queenofheart - but have you considered getting some Feliway, to help make your cats less stressed?

No reputable rescue would rehome a cat in that situation. Not without a home check and assurance that everyone in the family was happy to have the kitten.

I couldn't let someone rehome a cat in this situation. But you need a proper, grown-up talk with your DH. He needs to pack in the emotive, guilt-tripping language and to understand a) why you're annoyed about it and b) that he will be the one responsible for this new cat. And, obviously, why it's not acceptable to go against what he knows are your wishes.

your DH has seen all that you’ve called him too?!

Bloody hell…. this is going to be an awful christmas for you op

unless you make the leap before?!

Don't be tiresome. Quite obviously the poster means 'live safely and not have to risk roads'.

I sent him a lot of your comments and he said if I feel like that he will get rid of her, but I feel awful now, it's not her fault I've got a knob of a DH!

Of course you feel awful, OP, you're supposed to! He's being extremely manipulative. He foisted this animal on you against your wishes and now he's put you in a no-win situation.

If you say "yes, I want you to re-home the kitten" then you're the bad guy who turned away a poor defenceless animal at Christmas but if you say "no don't do that, let's keep her" then he gets his way and you can't complain about the distress to your two cats and effort required to settle her in as "you agreed to it"!

What a prick.