My partner was "bullying" his 17 year old coworkers boyfriend "for fun" it's freaked me out beyond belief

Red flags, especially that he'd tell you and be so apparently proud of it. I

Repulsive behaviour.
Hopefully he'll no longer have a job by the end of today, or a partner.

The fact that the friends joined in so readily suggests to me that this is normal behaviour to them. I would assume that they have form for behaving like this, he just hasn't told you before

I couldn't be with somebody this arrogant & immature having a 17 year old co-worker has obviously brought up feelings about his own teens & how he used to act around girls he liked or thought he had a chance with

Disgusting behaviour from an almost 30 year old towards a couple he doesn't even know - hopefully theyve complained about him & can move on because his "insecurity" is now going to be directed towards his partner based on her job/career not sex & that's a bloody big burden to carry as a teen who will probably have to work until she's 60+

Weird behaviour by a grown man and I wonder what sort of place he works if this is ok behaviour at a Christmas party. Your boyfriend sounds very immature and obviously also a nasty piece of shit. It would give me a massive ick and I would be off.

Yeah, I'd think he fancied her too.

This is macho posturing and chest beating manifesting as bullying and completely inappropriate at anytime but especially at a work night out.

This girl has no choice but to see him again - she has to work with him.

Poor lad too. What lever his girlfriend's complaints about it, it doesn't justify that. If you accept this from him you're communicating to him that you're OK with this sort of behaviour and you're clearly not.

@cdls He sounds desperately immature and nasty.
I couldn't bear to be with someone who could behave this way- and he told you all this?

I think he probably has eyes for the teenaged girl.

Vile man.

Do you live with this current boyfriend? I think your boyfriend has tried to shag the 17 year old and she said no to him. Or he is shagging her.

The sexual comment about the 17year old colleague is not on and he's playing with fire especially since he's only been there since September.
He really is a horrible individual if this is how he gets his kicks bullying has no place at work even on a work do.
Actually I hope he gets the dunt .

This is grotesque and abnormal. He sounds like he’s jealously bullying the 18 year old boy because he fancies the 17 year old girlfriend.

Joking that his 17 year old girl colleague is getting railed by loads of men is sexual harassment of her and a disgusting and abnormal thing to say.

Picking on an 18 year old boy is pathetic and insecure behaviour. He would have had no choice but to laugh along so as not to ruin his girlfriend’s job.

Your emotional reaction to this is well-founded. If he thinks this behaviour is ok in public and to share with you, imagine what behaviours he keeps hidden.

He’s not a nice person. Bullying teens and making sexual comments about teenage girls is unforgivable.

It’s a mile wide red flag, and grounds to leave him.

You could inform his boss of his behaviour, which will be evidence should the 17 year old decide to speak up or he escalates against her.

I would suggest not naming the girl as then she’ll be asked directly, which will put pressure on her to report it which could cause retaliation.

Most men grown out of thinking this is clever or funny by around the age of 16. I wonder if your partner realises the person he was showing up most was himself.

I hope someone who overheard him reports him. Especially for making disgusting sexual comments about his colleague, who is legally a minor.

You ask why he did it. Because he's a cunt, that's why.

A bully and a misogynist too.

Don't waste your life on such a nasty prick.

I really hope he is reported.

@cdls I think you are starting to get to know him better. People like that never reveal who they really are at the start of relationships, since they know it’s not acceptable behaviour and most potential partners would be put off.

Go with your gut on this OP. He sounds like a kid of 11 and that is a massive turn off and red flag.

Dear god this is awful. Made my tummy hurt. That poor young lad!

Sorry OP but he's obviously got the hots for the 17 year old lass.

Your DP sounds vile, I think you've probably outgrown him. Hopefully you have no kids with him.

My third LTB in 20 years!!

Pretty sure this could be an HR issue. A group of grown men taunting their 17 year old colleague’s boyfriend about her ‘getting railed’, presumably within earshot? God, I hope she fucking rinses them.

She won’t, though, because she’s literally a kid.

Your partner is disgusting, and the fact he told you all this stuff shows he has zero respect for you. He doesn’t give a fuck what you think - and he clearly hasn’t bothered to get to know you, if after eight years he thinks you’d find this funny.

He’d be dumped so fast he wouldn’t know what had happened. Do it now, so you can get a refund on the arsehole’s Christmas presents.

It's disgusting that he was talking about how many people this child has has had sex with. And what a disgusting, misogynistic way of speaking. Dirty fucking animal, that's what he is.

She's a colleague, and that was a work night out. I hope he gets the sack for being so vile.

I teach a lot of young ppl especially lads this age, they are often already insecure in some ways and the "confident " ones are sometimes masking insecurities. This behaviour from your DP is awful, they are still growing up and I am always mindful how fragile they can be.
Bullying is bullying, the bullies excuse is always "banter" but putting someone down to have fun at their expense NOT on.

Regardless of zero previous and all and any fantastic qualities befre THIS - Your horror and disgust is absolutely merited.
To be absolutely truthful I would be inclined to seriously consider potentially an abslute dealbreaker.
It takes a special kind of cunt to intentionally attack anyone,at all,ever using personal features(regardless oof if true or not)..ridicule. Its abolutely horrendus,potentialy lifelong damaging and absolutely qualifies as intentional psycholigical abuse. Utterly repulsive bastard behaviour. Its entirely inexcuseble. Unforgiveable and no amount of alchohol,boredom or attempt to (boast) he considered entertainment justifies it..
What a cunt- worse still continued with back up from colleagues.so 3xcunts-against one 18yr old.
Dunno if indicates his "fancy " 17 year old.
Absolutely indicates absolutely no respect for her.

"your girlfriends getting railed..." seriously depraved . "to make him insecure"

Honestly i can not see a way back from that. no it is not lad having a laugh. No ,oh i went to far or unlikely ever happen apology touches the severity of his idea f fun.
17 year old girl - now has to face him n rest of gang-at work. !
Given hes been a 18yr old lad,intent was cause insecurity i genuinely hope the kid is ok. They are dispicable-the bullying bad enough ,remember this boyfriend outnumbered by 3 grown men-and not in position to attempt to defend or demand his gf not spoken about like that.
Outrageous.

It would be over for me.

That's awful. Did he not worry about this young man's mental health . Imagine having a bunch of grown men making you feel so bad about yourself.
And yes its very obvious he likes the 17 year old girl. Which is creepy in itself.
He has definitely shown his true colours. I hope you don't have children . What an awful role model .

I'm horrified that anyone could be so nasty. Don't let him convince you it was a joke. Jokes are supposed to be funny. He's an absolutely nasty piece of work and I'd judge you harshly for staying with him.

And yes, I think you can safely assume that he fancies this 17 year old child. Calling you old at 28 too. Grim.

If you don’t live together and don’t have children then you are in the very best position to get out now. You have different values. This will become increasingly evident over time and you won’t be able to unsee it.

I left a relationship many years ago based on one incident where I observed my boyfriend at the time do something I considered mean. I have never regretted it.

thst is vile. I’d dump him as he is quite literally a piece of shit

Vile. I don't know any men who would do that thankfully.

That relationship would be over for me. A very nasty side to him has just shown itself