My partner was "bullying" his 17 year old coworkers boyfriend "for fun" it's freaked me out beyond belief

Most 17 year olds would cringe at being called a child, surely. It is quite demeaning and infantalising, to a young woman who works full time and has a boyfriend, to be called a child. It is very mixed messages isnt it.

Having a boyfriend, does offer at least some understanding, at least, of how mens minds works, im not saying an expert in these matters but potentially not the innocent child vibe

By age 17 I had my own home, a child of my own, and a full time job. I did not feel at all childlike

We need to show young people we believe in them, not refer to them as children until their 18th birthday and suddenly wow they are an adult which to me, is case by case basis. There are some people much older who still act like kids

@SkunderlaiSkendi

I think the motives are clear here - shes put herself in the shop window

What a gross thing to say about a 17 year old girl.

And let's remember that it's OP's boyfriend who said this girl apparently complains about her boyfriend all the time. A man who 'jokes' about said 17 year old getting 'railed by so many men right now'. A man who bullies 18 year old boys about their looks with the express purpose of humiliating them publicly.

Not a massively trustworthy person when it comes to accurately telling what's actually happened before this incident, I wouldn't have thought.

I would be walking away from the relationship and also reported him to HR for his poor behaviour at a works event.

She’s a child. There’s a power imbalance between a 17 year old girl and a grown adult man-don’t try and blame her for the ops boyfriend being a disgusting creep!!

Well I wouldn’t want a partner who enjoys bullying people myself….

And agree he was probably showing off to impress the 17 year old girl. Then he goes and tells his girlfriend, of all people, all about it 😐

I'm getting weird vibes too. If he is not already cheating, he will be soon and hes a spiteful arsehole.

I get weird vibes from her behaviour before this night too

1 - Why is 17 year old complaining about HER boyf to your partner? Why does she feel comfortable doing this? DOes she want your partner to think shes unhappy in her relationship and what are her reasoning for this - what are her motives? I think the motives are clear here - shes put herself in the shop window.

2 - Your partner fancies her. No bs here, theres a reason why he is trying to belittle the boyfriend in front of her to let her know her boyfriend is weak, and that he is the Alpha, and to let the boyf know that he can do what he wants to tthe boyf, and boyf cant do anything = pretty much telling him i can take your woman

Run, dont walk.

Protective? By joking about how she's getting 'railed' by loads of guys?

I think you're being incredibly generous suggesting that's even a remote possibility.

My 18 year old would be devastated if someone said those things to him. They are so self conscious at that age. Get rid of this man he is horrible

Yup.

I'd dump my partner so fast over this his feet wouldn't touch the floor. A man who thinks it's clever and funny to bully a teenaged boy in an environment where the boy has little to no power is despicable. Why did he do it? To impress his teenaged coworker, that's why. He fancies her and is trying to play the alpha to impress her. He's immature, creepy and the epitome of toxic masculinity.

What an Asshole your immature partner is, showing his true colours, he needs to write an apology to this young lad & apologise to his face for this act of disgusting behaviour. It’s obvious he has his sights on the young girl.
Only you can decide if you want to go through life attached to this revolting excuse for a grown man.

@cdls he was so comfortable telling you this and retelling the tale because even after - he thinks it’s acceptable and amusing behaviour.

that to me shouts that this is common behaviour for him. It’s not the first time he’s treated others like this.

I feel so sorry for the young girl and her boyfriend. I have a young child with MH issues and low self esteem. I’d be so concerned an evening of that would tip him over the edge or lead to a lasting complex or insecurity. Me personally if i experienced that bullying I’d be feeling so low and questioning my worth etc.

Good luck working through this as it would be making me question so much.

That is deeply unpleasant behaviour. I couldn't imagine being with someone who thought it was ok to behave like this under any circumstances. Just awful.

That really was nasty. The only time a coworker said that to me about my boyfriend at the time it was because he fancied me. I'd be very wary.

How can you even look at him? Absolutely disgusting

Your ex-partner.....that would be it for me.

That's worrying and problematic behaviour, especially from a 28 year old - younger people now are mostly very worried about causing offence and do not make horrible jokes like that about people's appearance like the older generation might. I'd be seriously reconsidering the relationship particularly if you planned to have children in future.

This. All you need to know about him.

He 100% fancies the co-worker and wants her to think he's more of a man than her bf. It's creepy. If he's made comments about you being old (!!!) then he's checking out whether he could trade you in for a younger model. He is mega gross. You can do so much better.

That's really horrible what he did to the lad...but this stood out for me the most:

and saying aw your girlfriends definitely getting railed by so many men right now, to "make him insecure

Talking about a 17 year old getting 'railed' by many men is really really gross and gives off sex predator vibes!

I hope you don't have children with him, and just LTB. honestly... that is unacceptable

That would be a dealbreaker for me.

I'm a man. Let me assure you that he's got the hots for this young woman. He's acting aggressively to show that he's the "big man".

1. He wants to play the field
2. This behaviour is truly bloody disgusting
3. Given the age gap, it's really weird, too
4. You really don't need people like this in your life.
5. Get yourself a new, normal, decent partner

If I were you, he would already be history. Make this a happier Christmas - get rid of him!

That's an immediate ditch situation for me. I don't have any tolerance for bullies, particularly adults who know better. The fact he came home preening about it is enough to seal my fanny shut for life. Ick.

Urgh what an utterly vile wanker 🤮 Get rid!!