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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To quit my job rather than do this?

167 replies

WelshRambler · 17/12/2024 22:16

Hey all,

Looking for some unbiased advice. Every year my work hold a big event for a small charity the week before Christmas. It raises a lot of money and really makes a huge a difference to the charity. We literally raise more money for the charity in one hour than the charities get in a year. The charity changes every year.

This year I was asked to organise which charity we would partner with, which I duly did. I chose a lovely charity who were really excited. I then went on annual leave leaving both work and the charity with all details confirmed, travel organised etc. I’ve kept in touch with the charity on my time off and they’ve shared some really heart warming and heart wrenching stories that they would like to share. Everything seemed well.

Cue tonight. I’ve been asked by work to stand my charity down with one days notice because work has found a charity that they think will do better on socials.

AIBU to refuse to stand my charity down because 1) it’s wrong and 2) I’m on leave?

I’ve point blank messaged to say I won’t do it but honestly they might force me to. Also, if I don’t stand my charity down and they turn up I will be in big trouble.

I am going to fight this and genuinely would rather quit than do it.

Before anyone suggests it, it’s not possible to have both charities.

WWYD in this situation?

OP posts:
lionloaf · 17/12/2024 23:08

Forward the correspondence you’ve had with the charity (including the stories) on to whoever has asked you to say no to them, and just put that you can’t do it as it’s all already arranged as per below.

Isatis · 17/12/2024 23:07

You could also subtly suggest that, if you have to quit your job, you will have nothing to lose in helping the small charity let its supporters know about the change in arrangements.

JustDeserts · 17/12/2024 23:06

Keep a written record of everything and if push goes to shove approach one of the redtops.

TrollTheAncientYuletideCarol · 17/12/2024 23:06

I suspect they've told the other charity they can do it and haven't told them about the original charity. Either way, one charity is going to be upset as they will have organized someone/stories to share.

I agree with your stance, it's just there's no easy option now as someone will have to be disappointed.

Vaxtable · 17/12/2024 23:05

I would go back and say it simply won’t show the company in a good light if they stand a charity they have been working with down on one days notice to infill with another charity and it’s appalling behaviour.

Original poster
WelshRambler · 17/12/2024 23:04

Isatis · 17/12/2024 22:59

Point out to them that if or when the original charity has to announce on socials that this event is not happening and the reason why, the harm it will do will massively outweigh any supposed benefit from going with the new charity.

Alas, the charity hasn’t been announced on socials yet. We announce on the day.

OP posts:
Isatis · 17/12/2024 23:04

WelshRambler · 17/12/2024 22:26

@DingDongAlong Pretty much bang on the money. Someone more senior did organise the other charity but they knew about the original charity as well.

The charity I made arrangements with is very small and doesn’t really have a social media presence. Not sure they’d been vindictive enough to do anything if I did stand them down tbh.

Presumably they have some social media? Very few charities these days don't, if any. The ones I have dealt with would already have been giving your company some helpful publicity by thanking them in advance publicly, and would be doing their best to promote the event. So, without being vindictive, they would have to go back online to explain to their supporters that they hadn't intentionally misled them. It doesn't take much for these things to be picked up and to go viral, particularly if your employers are at all well known.

Isatis · 17/12/2024 22:59

Point out to them that if or when the original charity has to announce on socials that this event is not happening and the reason why, the harm it will do will massively outweigh any supposed benefit from going with the new charity.

Booboobagins · 17/12/2024 22:55

OMG! I'd point out the obvious - they are choosing a charity for social media because that's more important than ethics.

It's a form of greenwashing if the reason they chose that charity is merely for the publicity. I don't know if this is an offence - greenwashing on env info is, but it's a disgusting thing to do. The charity commission may be interested to learn about this.

I would not facilitate it at all. Stand your ground.

Good luck x

Givemethreerings · 17/12/2024 22:53

Good luck!! Stand your ground.
Apart from being highly unethical this will be a huge crisis communications issue for your company given you’re prepared to blow the whistle.
Screenshot previous relevant WhatsApps and emails as evidence in case people delete them to blame you.

So heartening to hear of people like you standing up and doing the right thing. 👏

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 17/12/2024 22:51

💪

Original poster
WelshRambler · 17/12/2024 22:48

MumChp · 17/12/2024 22:46

Happy to!

Happy to donate a few £ to your charity if it can be done o line.

Show quote history

If I end up quitting I’ll name them! Until then hopefully I can get work to change tack…

OP posts:
Original poster
WelshRambler · 17/12/2024 22:47

Thanks for the advice guys. I’m going to stand my ground tomorrow and refuse. My work operates via WhatsApp mostly so even when on leave I still get/reply to messages. I’ve already messaged the group saying I can’t do it. No reply to that in the last two hours. If they push I’m going to categorically say I WON’T.

OP posts:
MumChp · 17/12/2024 22:46

titchy · 17/12/2024 22:34

Name them on MN, and the charity they were replaced with - we'll get them some socials Wink

Show quote history

Happy to!

Happy to donate a few £ to your charity if it can be done o line.

MadnessIsMyMiddleName · 17/12/2024 22:43

OMG! That is truly appalling OP! I would tell them that unless they go ahead with the plans that you've already set up, not only would I walk, but would take pleasure in ensuring that the story goes to the press. The person who made this decision should be ashamed of themselves.

ACynicalDad · 17/12/2024 22:40

I quit a job because they told me to wear a polyester shirt and clip-on tie, so this is 100x more walkable for me. I think someone hasn't engaged their brain (and that's not you). Suggest that they keep the other one for next year and only delegate to someone if you will let the process run.

Evaka · 17/12/2024 22:40

That's a rotten situation. Did someone in leadership approve your proposal? If so can't you say no can do, Melinda approved?

And/or can you say No, it's already gone out in their newsletter/they've approved their 2025 strategy factoring in our support/finance has underwritten a min donation/we've signed a binding agreement? Surely something formal is in place by now?

OriginalUsername2 · 17/12/2024 22:37

This happens in Breeders!

Original poster
WelshRambler · 17/12/2024 22:37

@jacks11 @FromCuddleLand I really can’t go into details about how the event works as it would be very outing but it’s really not possible to do two charities.

OP posts:
MyrtleStrumpet · 17/12/2024 22:36

This is just unfair on the charity who would have been counting on the donation!

titchy · 17/12/2024 22:34

WelshRambler · 17/12/2024 22:26

@DingDongAlong Pretty much bang on the money. Someone more senior did organise the other charity but they knew about the original charity as well.

The charity I made arrangements with is very small and doesn’t really have a social media presence. Not sure they’d been vindictive enough to do anything if I did stand them down tbh.

Name them on MN, and the charity they were replaced with - we'll get them some socials Wink

hydriotaphia · 17/12/2024 22:34

I agree with others that you should emphasise that it will be excruciatingly bad PR for them to cancel on this charity. I would also say that you are not willing to make the call to cancel, you are on annual leave. However I would provide your work colleague’s with the charity contact person’s details so that you are not blamed for them not being able to get in touch.

FoxtonFoxton · 17/12/2024 22:33

Absolutely no way I'd do that. They don't get to fanny out of the dirty work; their choice to change and dump last minute, they tell the charity. Making you do it is really unfair. If I were the dumped charity, I'd make sure I spread the story as far and wide as possible.

jacks11 · 17/12/2024 22:32

FromCuddleLand · 17/12/2024 22:29

Would it be too revolutionary to suggest splitting between the two charities as a compromise?

I understand it’s not ideal, but this may be a compromise that means your chosen charity still gets a substantial donation without you having to leave immediately. If you are forced out/have to cancel them they will get nothing, even if you later are successful with a constructive dismissal claim.

Oramorph · 17/12/2024 22:30

Shitty behaviour. Can you afford to just quit, though?!