To think that non drinkers are often hard work..

I don’t tend to do dry Jan because often I find I’ve gone 2/3 weeks or so without drinking and don’t even notice until that time has passed. I find as I get older I can’t drink much without having a bad hangover, and I don’t drink on work nights.

In my experience nobody who is genuinely secure in their own level of alcohol consumption has ever had an issue with anyone else choosing not to drink.

You’re being so unreasonable. If she doesn’t want to drink she doesn’t have to. The whole idea that her mocktail shouldn’t be the same price as an alcoholic drink shows that you seem to put a lot of value on the alcohol itself and not the being in a nice environment enjoying a drink and some time with a friend.

I stopped socialising with a ‘friend’ like you. I’m not a big drinker and don’t touch a drop if I’m driving, my friend knew this yet every time we went out she would repeatedly say things like ‘you can have a glass of wine and still be fine to drive’ etc. Took me a while to realise she was simply incapable of socialising without a drink, no matter what time of day or where we were.

I don’t drink or eat chocolate 😂. Cheese on the other hand…

I think it depends. Of it's holier than thou I'm so superior now that I don't drink and banging on about it constantly then whilst I'm pleased for the individual i don't particularly want to spent time with them (see also my colleague and her annual bore about slimming world)
Generally yabu - non drinkers can be just as engaging as drinkers whatever the reason for not drinking

I thought we'd got past the bad old days when people would get mocked for sticking to an orange juice. Is it the 1970s again?

deleted double post

It’s not your friend’s fault that you are only fun when you drink.

you are being overly judgemental, well done to your friend.

The fact you see alcohol as a real drink and refuse to pay for non alcoholic drinks speaks volumes.

There's no way you simply have a few drinks a month, yet have this strong an opinion on your friend opting out of a few drinks a month.

I mean your individual friend might be hard work - not apparent going on anything you’ve said though.

I don’t think people who don’t drink are hard work. People I know who don’t just don’t have an alcoholic drink. Just like if I don’t want to drink on a specific evening I would just have something else. Doesn’t sound a big deal to me!

Woah woah woah. No chocolate for a month? Now that is crazy talk.

Well aren't you a charmer!

If you truly believe you are a moderate drinker I suggest you do dry January and see how you feel about it. Better yet, start now.
Someone who is truly not dependent on alcohol could give it up for weeks on end without making an effort. Or no more effort than eg deciding not to eat chocolate for a month.

You sound like a great friend.

Not everyone enjoys alcohol and some people decide it’s not for them, it’s a non issue. I don’t drink and haven’t since I was 19ish, I simply don’t like alcohol or the way that it makes me feel. Your friend has decided it’s not for her and she wants to live an alcohol free life, that’s her choice and it’s not a hardship to find somewhere that does mocktails, you’re hardly supporting her calling her a “killjoy”.

And yet you are the one that is on here making comments about it and kicking up a fuss about paying for her drink in rounds. Sounds like she is the one still making the effort to join in despite not drinking. Ultimately it's a healthy, positive decision. Who's to say that she may drink again one day but if she's decided that she doesn't want to drink for the forseeable, even if she didn't drink that much, maybe she is proud of kicking the habit. Just be pleased for her and enjoy your cocktail at the same time. Simple.

As someone who doesn't drink, it's people with your attitude i find hard work. She's made a healthy decision, support her.

If she is making a point of sounding superior then she is BU. But if she is just going about her normal life sans alcohol and you think anyone who doesn't drink is boring and weird then you are being massively unreasonable.
If you can't enjoy a social occasion without alcohol, or even without HER having alcohol then you are the problem.

And I would hazard a guess that if she has done sober October and kept up with it it is because it made her realise that she either feels better not drinking, or realised she was more dependent on it than you think and that that is not healthy.

What an odd attitude you have. Maybe you need to spend some time reflecting on why this bothers you so much.

I don't drink alcohol, my friends don't care, don't comment and always include me in the round.

If ever one of them called me hard work they wouldn't be a friend anymore.

You're being very judgemental as they choose not to drink alcohol and prefer the drinks they want.

I often don't drink. Sometimes I'll have water and sometimes I'll have mocktails or a 0% version of something. Why the fuck shouldn't I?!

I've never felt I need to justify myself when I'm not drinking. But thankfully my friends are actually my friends and don't try to push their choices onto me, and vice versa.

You ask why shouldn't she just drink in moderation. She doesn't fucking want to does she!