To think that non drinkers are often hard work..

I suppose you could do non drinking activities like go for walks together or sport. If you want to!

I will be controversial and say I agree with you, this feels like a trend!! Some people always "just had the occasional one" but now they are fully "sober" and going on about it!! And yes I do still find it more fun to have a few drinks on a night out, I'll probably get shot down for admitting that!! I'd be disappointed if my besties were fully sober at all times if I'm being honest but I guess it's everyone's own choice, it does change your social life though.

YABVU. You have no idea whether she has an issue with alcohol. I did and no one would have known as I was extremely adept at hiding it. It could have been a real battle for her to get to this point and you'd have no idea.

If I was so disconcerted by someone going teetotal that I felt the need to post and ask advice on coping with it I'd be questioning my own relationship with alcohol.

I don't understand what it is to do with you that your friend doesn't want to drink alcohol anymore. It is healthier to not drink alcohol.

I stopped drinking this year. It was my friends birthday and she wanted to do a bottomless brunch just me and her. I said thats fine but I am not drinking. At the time the reason was the pain relief as I had injuries and I just couldn't not have pain relief. She kicked off and said that she'd rather not go with me until I would drink alcohol again. As it was her birthday I just said fine, had no pain relief and had a couple and switched to non alcoholic ones whilst there. Made me feel like I was only worth getting drunk with.

Months on I am much happier without alcohol, yeah a lot of the alcohol free versions have a very minute amount in, but I just don't want it.

Do you not have any muslim friends? One of my bestest friends is muslim and she certainly never was a kill joy and she doesn't drink. Shes the most light and bubby person to be around. Her life isn't restrictive.

It might be that your friend is coming across like she thinks shes better but this could be more a you problem. It's okay for someone to celebrate sobriety, its actually weird to begin with, not drinking, and once you get the 'aha' moment you wonder why you drank at all. Try to wipe away those misconceptions of having alcohol to hang out and just ignore that her drinks are different to yours. Also choosing a bar for both your preferences, thats fine, its just like when you pick a place to eat and someone has dietary requirements, or based on reviews. All parties attending should enjoy going.

‘She will often make comments towards the rest of us where we are drinking’. She’s U to do that.

for all the rest of it you’re U.

You’ve said she’s a close friend but also that you don’t enjoy her company when she’s sober!

And everywhere in cities serves non or low alcohol alternatives

Also from extensive experience non alcoholic drinks are always cheaper than alcohol. I stopped buying rounds because i lost out severely.

I stopped drinking in 30s. Was an occasional social drinker like OP. My body found it that much harder to process alcohol. I get headaches even from the smallest quantities. Body starts rejecting after a sip even (feels like i need to throw up and i would after 1 glass)

I stopped fretting about being being seen as "weird" as you do in the UK if you don't drink.

I have had grief from people who pull me out for ordering a soft drink and water, but i don't make a fuss. Have never been a fun Bobby though. So am a killjoy whether sober, drunk or sick anyway.

Stop inviting her out is the simple answer. Just drop her.

I've only ever found the ones who have an issue with people not drinking are the ones who have issues with alcohol. Not necessarily drinking all the time but can't go out and have fun without a drink.

I really don’t understand how it affects you? She’s not asked you to stop drinking, she’s doing it herself and bothering nobody. Infact people who drink alcohol and find people who don’t drink ‘weird’ have a problem and are probably boring people who have no personality outside of drinking alcohol

So… There’s no actual benefit to drinking and so many benefits to not drinking.

She’s realised that alcohol does damage to her life, gives her nothing, and made some positive changes.

It’s a bit like having a friend start eating healthy, taking up exercise, swearing off coke… Yes it’s a lifestyle change but really, this has minimal impact on you and you are being a bully.

Alcohol, smoking etc are really damaging to health. Unfortunately alcohol is so deeply ingrained into our society by the drinks lobby that it’s acceptable to regard non-drinkers the way you’re doing now.

Have a look at the latest panorama programme for starters and to see a different point of view.

How absolutely awful of you. Stop being her friend, she deserves so much better, you're horrible.

this is one hell of a fishing expedition OP 🎣

Op, i knew i remembered your name from somewhere this month as your exact name had a post for lovely girl baby names and you are due next month are you not? Surely you have more going on than this and aren't drinking anyway.

Drinkers are hard work.

they think they’re cool and interesting but they’re just drunk and boring. And then the teetotallers have to look after them and get them home

the obsession with having to drink to have fun, couldn’t possibly contemplate a dry wedding or birthday, got to sneak a hop flask, liven things up.

the judgement that if you don’t drink you maybe well stay at home because you’ll just spoil the fun.

no, you don’t need alcohol to have fun. If you do, that’s a you problem.

Sorry, but that is a horrible thing to say. She is a better person when under the influence?

I have had people tell me that before. "You are boring when you are sober". Well, those people are not my friends anymore.

I would support anyone who wanted to quit. I wish I could. Logically I know it's no good for me but alas, I enjoy it too much. The same way I enjoy sugary cake and carbs and chips.

What annoys me is when non drinkers try to become morally superior. There was an article I saw online about an alcoholic who reformed into a non drinker which is amazing but her tag line was something about how much she pities people who drink.

By all means change your habits if want to, but don't start judging other people just because you had an issue.

MN is very strange about alcohol op so I don't see you getting much agreement with your post.

What a meanie, won’t pay for the drink she wants even though it’s the same price at an alcoholic drink

you also sound a bit jealous, that’s she’s been able to give up, can you? Or are you one of the sad people that needs an alcoholic drink to be able to enjoy yourself

😄 I don't know whether to take you seriously

If you don’t enjoy drinking nights out with her and she’s being a pompous arse about it, do something else that doesn’t involve booze - cinema, roller skating, theatre, a band, etc.

I think, in terms of the superiority thing, you're not being unreasonable

People that don't drink, vegans, cyclists and child free people love telling everybody about it, when no-ones asked 🙄

You've got child free people telling you about how much sleep they get, unprovoked???!! 😄

But, you should support your friend, op - and aren't mocktails cheaper anyway?

It should come as a relief to her.

Mean Girls Go!

Well, fair enough I guess...I see your point. Maybe if there is enough of you drinking, her more insular non-drinking persona won't be as noticeable?

Unfortunately though, there's nothing you can do about her choices!