What time do you expect your partner home from a night out?

Go to bed and leave your phone on loud. Not ideal, but you only have one key 🤷‍♀️

it’s his Xmas do, I wouldn’t be expecting my husband back until early hours. I’d just leave him be. Definitely schedule a night out for yourself though

Yes you are being unreasonable. You did ask the question. I’m sure your DH would cope with your child if you want a night out, stop being a martyr

I’ve done this to dh before - gone out all day and ended up into the evening and getting home at 2am. Dh left the door unlocked. I didn’t expect to be out that long but I was having such a lovely time. Dh was home with twin toddlers and a 4yo. In the morning he made me a cup of tea and asked if I had a nice time.

It was a one off and I’m an adult. Dh gigs and is usually home by 2am.

Put the key under a plant pot out front, text him that info, then go to bed. You are tired and fed up, both unpleasant feels so you do have my sympathy, but that’s making you be unreasonable.

What time do you expect your partner home from a night out?

@Tiredmummyx Honestly ? whatever time they get back, but I wouldn't be staying up to ensure they get in, I would expect them to have sorted out a key so they could get in themselves, not difficult and takes a tiny bit of advance planning. The fact they haven't done this would piss me off !

@Tiredmummyx

yes! Why ever not!? If he can, you can! Get it arranged and have a good time 🥂

The problem is the keys.

Why didn’t you get a new one cut?

As the two of you didn’t bother, you are stuck awake until he rolls in drunk.

I'm not really sure what you want here OP.

If your partner is out tonight, you go out another day or night to get a break. Make it a regular thing. Once a month or every couple of months. Same for your partner as he seems to work a lot.

Don't be mad at your partner being out tonight because you haven't made arrangements to have a break.

And find your partner's keys.

Right. Call your nearest neighbor. Lock up and pass them the key through a window or similar, they then hide the key in a safe location, send location to partner.

Only do this if you and DS could still get out in a fire, eg through window

Yes

And get thee to Timpsons asap!

I had my work do at weekend and was out from middayish to 11pm (last train!). And not even a hangover! Truly blessed.

Agree with this. OP it sounds like the real problem is the work and home set-up between you isn’t suiting you any more. I assume he’s working lots of 12 hour shifts because he’s the sole earner and the family needs the money?

Getting back into work will give you a bit of life away from home, and might mean your partner can dial back the hours a bit? You’ll almost certainly care less about him having the odd night out too.

Just lay on the sofa and chill out, watch a film. Then when he gets in, let him in and go to bed. And tomorrow, plan some time when you'll be going out. This is no big deal.

So many of these issues could be avoided very easily - like a key for every adult member of the household. Get an extra key cut next time (whoever goes), so that you both always have a key if one goes astray!

You not staying out later than 9pm is on your, really. Make sure you get your fair share of time off.

Can't you just got to sleep now, put your phone next to your bed and let him ring you when he's outside?

Mine only goes out a few times a year. I would expect him home anytime after 1am. Could you not leave the backdoor unlocked?

Whenever they get back.

Where has OP said there would be a row if she did it? Genuinely? Can't see that post.

If OP wants to go out day and night, that's up to her to do that and tell her DH he's on duty.

I don't expect my partner home at a certain time. If he's out, he's out and vice versa. I would find adult curfews very stiffling.

I don't understand how neither of you thought about getting a second or third key cut. To me, that's baffling.

In fairness my husband and I are older (51 & 50), so if we go out, we're not rolling in during the early hours!! My husband is never later than midnight, on a normal night out. When he went to a Christmas work meal, that started at lunchtime, he was home by 9 pm! I'm the same, never passed midnight and if I'd been out since lunchtime, I doubt I'd be later than 9 pm either. I suspect if I was younger, then I might be out later. My husband always keeps in touch, and will text to say he's on his way home. Often I'll go to bed, and text to tell him. I understand the frustration of having to stay up, due to the key situation and you've been home all day with a little one.

Really? You expect another adult to give you a running commentary on their location?!

I wouldn't expect him before 2ish and if he's home before he's home before.

We're both usually home between 8-10 with a kebab if we go out early though.

I just don't understand why he can't go out all day and all evening if he wants to. What's the big deal about needing him home? He obviously isn't going to help with childcare because he's drunk. The only problem is the key and he should really have taken a key so that you can go to bed.

Where do you actually live? Nobody will know your door is open.

My take is different I guess. I wouldn't mind being home all day with our child. I love it. I don't expect it to be some equal care deal. I just do it when I do it, he does when he does. I would expect him home between 1 and 2 am. If it got a bit crazy then 3-4. If he came home at 5, I'd just be glad he was alive.

Leave the door open. It will be fine. Have a snug night and go to sleep feeling happy your other half is having a nice time.

He'll be very meek the next couple of days after his night of fun, that's for sure.