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Original poster

Divorce SUCKS

212 replies

WineNeededPlease · 17/12/2024 18:48

My Husband has multiple affairs, just about destroys my mental sanity and I'm the one that will potentially lose my home and have to downsize with two children and start again.

However, he earns mega money and can be pleased to go on and live life and rebuild to the level we've been at.

It seems so unfair that men can do this...

Quick call from a divorce lawyer and turns out I really cannot afford to leave him and will probably have to keep trying until I break in half. 😔

OP posts:
applestewing · 17/12/2024 19:20

From your updates, I’d question how good your lawyer is tbh?

Have you checked how much csa you’d be entitled too? If ex won’t leave you can ask the court to decide what to do. Although practically it will be easier to sell tbh

but again your really good lawyer should be clued up on this

Original poster
WineNeededPlease · 17/12/2024 19:16

DonnaBanana · 17/12/2024 19:03

Go 50/50 with the kids, then go out and earn a better income yourself then you get to restore the quality of your life as well just without a cheating stinking man holding you down.

50/50 impossible...

He works non-stop. He can barely do 15%. I haven't returned to work since I had my children but have been offered a very good job.

I think my mental health will destroy me if I don't leave but I feel financial tied.

It's the classic, never lose your financial independence. I've been so fucking stupid.

OP posts:
Original poster
WineNeededPlease · 17/12/2024 19:15

Apologies - lawyer said could keep equity.

Husband - won't leave home.

OP posts:
Original poster
WineNeededPlease · 17/12/2024 19:15

justmadabouttheboy · 17/12/2024 19:07

If your STBXH earns megabucks then you will be due some of that - how old are your children?

But no it isn't easy...but it's far, far easier than staying...I'm just about to downsize our house which doesn't feel great but the new place will be all mine and me and the DC are so, so much happier.

You can do this lovely, just get a good solicitor and let them guide you. I can recommend someone if that would be helpful.

He did say I could keep all the equity in the home and will be due maintenance. It's seems so materialistic but I hate the idea of moving my kids, selling my home. I never asked for any of this!

He naturally does not want the marriage to be over.

I've asked him to leave and he will not leave.

OP posts:
Original poster
WineNeededPlease · 17/12/2024 19:14

My divorce lawyer is really good and comes highly recommended from a successful lawyer.

My kids are 3 and 5.

I just feel fucking horrific for them. My eldest son is so sensitive and sweet.

It just all feels so unfair, I begged him for years to stop cheating. Begged. He just is a pathological liar and cannot seem to stop lying. It's even the small things.

His family are a bunch of terrors too and have blamed me. His Mum suggested I had too much time on my hands and should have turned a blind eye. 😣

OP posts:
applestewing · 17/12/2024 19:10

It’s shit but you absolutely can afford to leave him

Find a new divorce lawyer and get some proper advice

if he’s mega bucks you could be entitled to spousal maintenance and of course half of any assets
you also may be able to stay in the family home until dc are older. But you need a lawyer who knows what they are doing

justmadabouttheboy · 17/12/2024 19:07

If your STBXH earns megabucks then you will be due some of that - how old are your children?

But no it isn't easy...but it's far, far easier than staying...I'm just about to downsize our house which doesn't feel great but the new place will be all mine and me and the DC are so, so much happier.

You can do this lovely, just get a good solicitor and let them guide you. I can recommend someone if that would be helpful.

Munkypuppy · 17/12/2024 19:04

DonnaBanana · 17/12/2024 19:03

Go 50/50 with the kids, then go out and earn a better income yourself then you get to restore the quality of your life as well just without a cheating stinking man holding you down.

In fairness, this too. My ex bankrupted me and ran up debt in my name. At 32 i had to start from nothing, 6 years later i would consider myself rich and DD wants for nothing - all my work.

Hankunamatata · 17/12/2024 19:04

Do you work? Have finances of your own?
If you have a large home then downsizing wouldn't be unexpected. Is there much equity on the home?

DonnaBanana · 17/12/2024 19:03

Go 50/50 with the kids, then go out and earn a better income yourself then you get to restore the quality of your life as well just without a cheating stinking man holding you down.

Munkypuppy · 17/12/2024 19:03

Can you start bleeding him dry and squirrelling away/investing the money? Make the situation work for you 😁

Original poster
WineNeededPlease · 17/12/2024 19:00

Anyone 😣

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