DH raising volume while I'm on the phone

DH has to take work phone calls at home quite often. Usually whilst in the room he works in at home, but sometimes when he is getting lunch in between meetings etc. when possible I will move into another room if he happens to take the call whilst in the kitchen or at least keep quiet

Your relationship is utterly toxic.
I would imagine your boss is very concerned for you.
Your husbands behaviour is text book abusive.
Trying to embarrass/humiliate you in front of your family and employer.
Making it uncomfortable to do something as basic as have a phone call in your own home.
Making it uncomfortable to chat to family.

This is not normal behaviour.
I suggest you call Womens aid and have a chat.
He has bad news and uses you as an emotional punching bag?
Everything you have written is the type of behaviour abusers adopt to grind down their victims.
Abusers aren't abusive all the time.
You need to seek advice and support.

Oh come on, what partner tries to have a conversation with you when they can clearly see you’re on the phone to your brother.

I have a problem with people who think that having a one sided phone call anywhere near me is acceptable

🙄. Even if they’re on the phone to family member? I must live in a different world to some on here. If I was on the phone and DH had a problem with it we’d be having a serious conversation. It’s very strange that some people have an issue with others chatting on the phone having a conversation.

You imply this is him going back to his 'true self', which, presumably, is some really shit behaviour for a few years at the start of your relationship.

I cannot imagine doing this to anyone - and his reaction when talking to your boss is unbelievable. It smacks of him being a controlling, entitled arse.

He'd be dumped if it was me.

This.

If your relationship was not good in the first YEARS, when it's meant to be your honeymoon period, why stay???

Relationships are not meant to be hard work.

Flogging a dead 'un here. Throw the towel in. Your life sounds miserable.

No she wasn't. She was in her and her husband's home. It is a home first and foremost.

Plenty of people work from home though. And those jobs enable people to pay mortgages to have their homes.

No she wasn't. She was in her and her husband's home. It is a home first and foremost.

I would bet a lot of money that he behaves badly in other ways.

He comes across a right prick.

I hate to be that mumsnetter- but is he autistic?

Starting a conversation while you were already on the phone shows a real lack of social awareness.

Being rigid about interruptions to plans is also an autistic trait.

Either way- yelling at you is unacceptable- let alone while you are on a work call. Deranged behaviour.

I can see how you walking in on the phone, waving your soup etc would be annoying. You were the interruption and you sort of came in and 'claimed' the room. BUT- such is the WFH life where our worlds are more blurred than ever.

He should be supporting you by making your day easier. Instead he undermined you professionally.

Shitty behaviour and I suggest you go back to counselling

DH needs to take a lot of work calls. Becasue I'm not a fucking lunatic, I will happily pause what I'm watching/listening to so as not to disturb the call.

He is good about taking himself off to do his call but obviously you can't always dictate where you are or what you're doing when the phone goes.

I don't like the sound of your DH at all. It maybe wasn't the best idea to persevere when the start of your relationship was so poor.

She was in a work situation.

He's doing enough to keep you from going then puts you back in your place. He's messing with your head. This is your life forever unless you leave.

So he was listening to something. You walk in using your phone and expect him to stop listening to his stuff because your more important rather than finish the conversation in another room?

This. Your DH’s behaviour is very odd, you were on the phone to your brother and he started a conversation with you? It sounds like he doesn’t like your attention being taken up with anyone else if you’re on a call tbh. Can he not listen to podcast using earbuds or earphones? DH and I don’t have the same interests and listen to podcasts without inflicting them on anyone else. A telephone call from your boss (or nearly boss) is important and he should have known you were limited on the time you had for lunch. What a rude man you’re married to OP.

My husband has a habit of interrupting my phone calls. It's an attention-seeking behaviour.
It drives me mad. And I let him know. We've rowed about it and he does it less now.
It overwhelms me op. I think you were perfectly ok to make soup and talk on the phone. He's had bad news and he's taking it out on you!
You probably need to have a chat about it. I'm sure you can sort it out
Good luck

The brother phone call wtf he’s weird.

the kitchen one is more grey area but he could have decided to be accommodating and he chose to be a dick

Turning the volume up and saying "I was in here first, you came in here making noise, I was having my lunch..." is very much interrupting the call. He may have had a point but he didn't need to respond like that.

I have a problem with people who think that having a one sided phone call anywhere near me is acceptable unless we are in a work situation. You running around talking on the phone while clattering around making soup is just ridiculous. I would be annoyed. He shouldn't be talking to you while you are on phone to brother either. It's not about control or anything else , it's just good manners.

But he wasn’t interrupting it. He was just minding his own business having his lunch and OP walked in on the phone interrupting him. I also work in a busy job and I think if you can’t find 10 mins to put your soup on once you’ve finished the call/tell your boss this is literally the only 10 mins of unscheduled time in your entire day, you have bigger work problems.

Thanks for our update @Aworldofwonder - it sounds stressful all round. I hope your partner is helpful when you chat and you can get some downtime

WTF he’s coming off here sounding very deranged. I’m on the phone every day because I have responsibilities to attend to, and when my DH sees I’m on the phone he turns down whatever he’s doing or I’ll go into another room. He wouldn’t throw a tantrum over it, that is really OTT and immature.

I cannot imagine a scenario in which I would purposefully interrupt my partner's phone conversation, especially with a boss. I may well feel put out at having to pause my podcast, but so what, it's a podcast!

He doesn't sound very accommodating or kind.

And sure, you could have done things differently too, but there seems to be a lot of history of him chipping away at you, and everyone has a breaking point.

Hang on though. A phone call is, by definition, an in the moment thing.

A podcast can be paused and restarted.

He couldn't have paused it for a few minutes while you were obviously trying to squeeze in a work call and lunch?

Sounds like he doesnt like your attention being taken away from him.

Do you have children? If not, I hope you are not planning any as this is the sort of guy who will be insanely jealous because your child is getting most of your attention and not him.