To completely go against DH beccause I think his opinion is ridiculous

I eleventy billion percent agree with him, but I'd still (and did) allow my child to go to football. It teaches them teamwork, teaches them a skill, gives them structure, they make new friends and it's something for them to look forward to. He's being silly.

Yes I'd take him. Young children taking part in a healthy team sport has about as much to do with drunken lad culture as toddler ballet does with erotic dancing in a strip club. If your husband can't see that his obsession is preventing him from making rational decisions for his child, you need to step in.

I'd take him, because hobbies are good, and hopefully without his father as a role model, he won't get too into it, but i agree with your dh's views on football

It's your responsibility as parents to see that your child has a positive experience of football and not the negative one your DH encountered. You have the ability to shape the experience he has and ensure that it doesn't turn into a yob fest.

As other people have pointed out, forbidding/preventing your kid from doing something is often the most likely way of ensuring that they will carry on doing it. It's better to ensure that experience develops positively than try to forbid it, which will eventually just lead to conflict and resentment in later years if he really likes the sport.

I think you need to start by acknowledging your DH's feelings and their validity. Talk with him about how much your son loved the birthday party and what you think he enjoyed - I imagine mostly just running around in a pack. Football is a very accessible activity; can be played by any number of players, almost anywhere, with minimal equipment. There really isn't anything comparable.

Yanbu, I'd put my foot down at my child doing boxing though so maybe I'm a hypocrite 🤷

I agree with your husband to an extent. I also hate football. I'm not a big sports fan in general, but the culture around football makes me despise it! My teen joined a local team a few months ago and I've honestly been shocked and by the aggression shown, not just by the hormonal teenage players (that's half understandable), but by parents and coaches! I've been sworn at by children, seen other parents threatened and squared up to, matches called off due to fights kicking off. My son isn't particularly enjoying it, the coach screams at them all match long. He's thinking of quitting and I hope he does.
I think if the day comes that your child really wants to play football, then you should let him. It is such a big part of our culture in this country that he will feel very left out if all his friends are and he's not (which I don't think is right, but it's how it is). And in general, I think if a child finds something they're passionate about, they should be encouraged to do it. But if he isn't particularly enthused, I would let him try out some other sports and see if there's something else he enjoys.

I completely agree with your DH about the horrors of football. However, unfortunately, boys tend to be socially ostracised if they're not into sports, especially football, so I think it's a good idea to let a boy play if he likes it.

I would approach it by differentiating between football watchers and playing a sport.

You are not taking DS to a premier league game and exposing him to the crowd you are helping him find a healthy exercise that he likes.

The more fun you have doing a sport the more likely you will do it so point out that you are trying lots of different sports to help DS find his thing.

I would take him, if that’s what my child was showing an interest in. Your DH sounds very childish over this.

Toddler, fine. But the culture around kids' clubs as they get older can be bloody awful and if your son stays into it I don't think it's fair to expect your husband to be involved.

Have you pointed out to your husband two things?

One, playing a sport is vastly different to watching it. Playing it requires commitment and dedication, it fosters teamwork and fitness. Watching it simply requires a TV, an arse and a sofa to put it on.

Second, he is absolutely entitled to his feelings, and they are understandable given his past. But, big BUT, your son is entitled to his feelings too and if he enjoys it and wants to keep attending this club after trying it out, his feelings should be respected.

A way to sell it to your husband is to give your very shy little boy some basic skills so he can confidently kick a ball about a playground. It is a way of kids connecting. They run around and make connections. It doesn't mean he is going to be football mad. Neither my husband or I follow any team or football but DS2 joined an after school club in infants run by an amazing lady. Son 2 is particularly good at sport, he really enjoyed it. He also had golf lessons. Later on he did kayaking too, then windsurfing. In juniors he got into Karate. We didn't join a local footie club on the advice of another football keen parent whose boys were very good. She told me I would hate it and parents were horrible on the sidelines. Son got into hockey for a bit. Swimming for a while - fab swimmer but took advice from a pupil I taught re the train8ng commitments. He became a national level competitor at a particular form of gymnastics. So, a bit of toddler football now is not going to turn him into some drunken yob but likely to give him skills and social in with his peer group.

I really dislike football too and steered my DS towards rugby, which he still plays at 15. He still plays football at school though and doesn’t have much choice in that for games lessons and also kicks a football about with his mates at lunchtime. If you think your very young DS would enjoy it though, any team sport/exercise is better than no team sport/exercise. He may well do a few sessions and get fed up with it, I think it’s worth a discussion with your DH. It’s very hard for boys to avoid football completely through their school years.

I think you are being very unpleasant here. Your husband has a particular dislike of one sport, based on a whole load of horrible and marking experiences growing up

Right, her HUSBAND hates it. That’s his problem. Her son might actually love it. Your husband needs to get over himself and stop being selfish!
My DD8 goes to football and absolutely loves it. I’ve never been into football but really enjoy going to watch her play and would never stop her playing based on my own ignorant view point.

I hate football and everything your dh says is spot on. I find people whose personality is only football boring and avoid them.

But if my dc wanted to join football that's fine. They are their own people and as parents we support them finding themselves and help them learn appropriate behaviours.

I fact one dc did ask to do football so I took her along- she wasn't a fan but I'd have found her a team if she wanted to. I would want to choose any teams after the toddler years carefully, the trail session we did I was immediately bombarded by £25 for this, pay £30 for another fundraiser, come to a bunch of social things, parents screaming at each other and dc training (not even a match!). One even commented my dd wasn't very good and they hoped she wasn't playing an upcoming match- she was 7 and at her first ever training!

Agree with this, and this is another reason I hate it. Macho men running around, cheating on wives, showing off. It exacerbates drinking culture and "lad behaviour". I've seen even the quietest men turn into absolute neanderthals when watching the match.

This. If your son wants to join in with the other boys (and many of the girls) he's going to be kicking a ball around. Your dh won't be able to stop him!

That is absolutely appalling. Was this a number of years ago? Did you raise it with the school?

Bullying from the other kids should have been stamped down on by them; but their own adult employee being one of the worst culprits??

This. Your DH does need to realise that DS will play football at school. He’ll need football boots in secondary school. There will probably be other football parties.

I’m not sure I would take DS aged 4 to a club if he hadn’t actually said he wants to go - but DH does need to think about the possibility of DS wanting to join a team if his mates are in one when he’s 6/7/8.

Is he really prepared to ban him from doing it?

No I wouldn't organise this and I’d have a lot of sympathy with your DH if you did.

How would you feel if you had made your feelings about something crystal clear and then your DH went and did the opposite with no regard for your feelings. Like other people have said, there’s plenty of other sports out there and your DS hasn’t even raised this!

I voted yabu because I think your husband has a bit of a point and you shouldn't just say I don't care what you say our son is doing football. I think it needs working through because your son is going to get older and want to do what his mates do so it does need sorting but not by thinking his POV is ridiculous and just taking your child regardless. Did you know about his issue before you married him and had a child?

I have three teen ds. Football is huge in school especially primary school. The majority of boys by ks2 will be playing at lunchtime in the playground. Then there is school football team, local football team, PE, football cards, talking about professional football matches, world cups, fantasy teams, football parties. It is huge in most boys lives whether your dh likes it or not.

I don’t think his opinion is ridiculous – the football culture in the UK is awful and footballers are shit role models for young boys.

He's 4 he doesn't need to go to a sport at this age. I think you need to decide is this the hill you want to die on. Your Dh has such strong feelings about this. It's like you're sticking the knife in by going for the sport he hates.