To completely go against DH beccause I think his opinion is ridiculous

I would wait, if he comes home interested in football from playing it at school then address this then. He might like it when he's older or he might not. When you take a toddler to something you are essentially making that choice for them and although I do think your husband would be unreasonable to stop his child playing a sport if they are older and want to. I think it's best for now to find another activity.

Not all football fans are drunken yobs.
Take him, it could be the best thing you'll ever do for him.

Are you signing your child up, or your husband? Time for your husband to realise they’re two different people with different interests and it’s nice to allow your children to explore their interests.

My DH hates football. The ethos the culture the politics the elitism. Our DS has been playing it at all levels several times a week for 10 years. DH grumbles about hating it but takes him and watches matches. He’s even starting to get an opinion 😂!
take him it’s great exercise and they need to do something they love.

On bbc sounds there is a podcast called Headliners. One of the episodes is Dawn O'Porter and her recent experiences with her son playing football and how it helped her see more value to it. Suggest you have a listen

Football training for four year olds = lots of eye / foot coordination which they can pick up in other sports - rugby / gymnastics/ dance etc.

I don't think playground games of football are reliant on children playing football out of school.

I'd go for encouraging him towards another sport and wait till he asks about football.

My whole family is football obsessed so this hasn't come up for us. I think I'd start by doing as a previous poster said and ask your son if he could choose a club to go to, what would he choose. He might say something else, he might not. But at least it hasn't come from you then.
I do think your DH is being a bit ridiculous though. Is he going to ban him doing football for PE in school soon? The teachers will think he's bonkers!
I've been attending live football matches for almost 40 years and I've never witnessed the behaviour he's going on about. Sure there's a bit of swearing etc but I've always felt safe. You may encounter obnoxious parents if your son plays for a club in a children's league, but what you're describing sounds more like a little skills club with no matches. My DS14 attends one of those and he absolutely loves it.

Football culture like just about everything in the 70s 80s and 90s he’s changing
Most of the young guys that I know who play football and watch football want to look like footballers i.e. six packs, shiny floppy hair Nice skin complexion, fake tan.
if you look at the likes of Gareth Bale, Phil Foden, they are literally machines pictures of health.

It’s nothing like the big beer belly pie eating racist, sexist, misogynistic twats of years gone by

I just cannot imagine the dynamic in my household being similar. Say I hated dance classes, HATED them, was forced to do ballet as a child, my mother was a ballet teacher and all she talked about was dance, I hate everything about the culture of dance, the body image issues, the make up they have to wear, and the damage it does to one's feet, the time it takes up on weekends. I can't stand dance, won't even go near a dance recital, hate it.

Is it reasonable to ban my children from ballet classes? No, no it isn't. Because they are not me, those are my issues, they are seperate human beings with their own experiences to have and conclusions to draw and banning them just makes me the next generation of wanker.

I totally agree with this post.

I agree that OP’s DH may need to put up with his son wishing to play football in the future (casually with friends or otherwise) but that is not what is being proposed by OP. She is actively seeking to go against her husbands long-standing and clear position on his abhorrence of any involvement with football- something she has been fully aware of for a long time. And this action is not being taken because her son is desperate to play football and OP is supporting him- it’s just because she thinks he might like it. It is deeply disrespectful to her DH and in his position I’d be very hurt. It certainly sends a clear message as to how OP views his opinions and role in their co-parenting of their child- bearing this isn’t an indifference or a preference, this is a very strongly held view- namely, that his thoughts are irrelevant if op doesn’t agree. If this is her approach to parenting, I think they could be in for a rocky ride- if both parents can ignore the other and just do what they feel is right, it could get a bit chaotic and I can’t see either party being very happy.

As things stand, their son is not being deprived of anything because he isn’t even old enough to know there is a group to join, let alone ask for it! I suspect he enjoyed running around with his friends, who were also having fun, and for a shy child the semi-organised nature of these sessions means they feel more comfortable as there is direction, so they have to do less initiating and mostly join in. There are any number of team sports that could provide this, not only football.

When he is older, perhaps it is a different story and I can see why you might want to support your son’s wish to play football if he expressed it, but that is not what is going on here.

I suspect it could also be a source of resentment going forward if football does stick (not just because OP dismissed her husbands strongly held opinion as irrelevant because she does not agree with it). He may well not want to have any involvement in this at all- and would be within his rights to set that boundary. He can’t stop OP going against his wishes right now, but he can refuse to take him or have any part in it. Once their son is old enough to make his own decisions about these things, I agree it is unfair to ban him from taking part, but he can state that his boundary is not having anything to do with football- so no taking him to matches/training, for instance. He’s not stopping anyone taking part, but he is not going to play any part in facilitating it or being involved in any way. OP and their son would have to respect his boundary. In that case, OP is going to be left doing all the donkey work, which she will no doubt be resentful of eventually. Is this really worth it, when there are other things he could try now- he isn’t even aware there is a group to join in with at the moment?

I feel the way your husband does about football.

I was blunt with my children when they were young, I’d not stop them playing at school if they wanted to, but I would not facilitate it in any way whatsoever. I’ve carted my kids to orchestra practices, steel band performances, dance recitals, choirs, D&D clubs, swimming, karate, Lego meets, and chess clubs. I don’t mind helping them live varied social lives, I just won’t engage with football in any way, shape, or form.

There are so many things that your little one could find enjoyable in the next couple of years, I’d swerve the football, because if it sticks you’re likely to screw up available family time for years, and you’ll be on the hook for every single practice session, match, and away game because your husband has made his position incredibly clear from the outset, and it could even massively impact your marriage.

I'm not sure you understand what a boundary is. What you're using as an example is controlling someone else's behaviour, which is not a boundary. It's control.

A boundary around this might look like DH explaining to the rest of the family that he has a deep seated aversion to football, and while is happy for everyone else to make their own personal choices around football, he will not be getting involed.

I forbid any member of this family to become involved in football is not a boundary. Can you see the difference?

The only time I went to an under 11s football game, one parent was encouraging their team to "pass the fucking ball" and one boy was urged to "stop standing around like a lazy fuck and get in the fucking game".

I don't believe you should take DS behind DH's back. Sit him down and talk to him that you get his hatred but does he want his hatred for a sport to stand between him and what his DS is showing interest in? The interest isn't anything toxic, so, he should see reason and allow his DS a hobby.

How some parents on the touchline behave towards children I’m not sure he’ll become enamoured to it.

Oh no, not competitiveness. God forbid a boy should get involved with anything that involves competitiveness. Maybe the OP could take him to an activity where everyone joins hands and dances in a circle for an hour instead?

Otherwise your post makes a fair point, assuming you wrote it in 1985.

I voted YABU, not because I totally agree with your DH's thought process connecting the unpleasant adult behaviour around the sport to Little Kickers (etc), but because you describe it as his one major dealbreaker/line in the sand opinion about the way your child is raised, which is important to him because of past trauma and which you were informed of well in advance of the situation arising.
Yes, he is going to have to deal with your son playing football at break (although many schools ban balls in playgrounds, so it might be It for a long time instead), but that is a completely different thing to his wife actively taking the child to a club that the child isn't even aware of, against his strong wishes.

Is he a failed footballer?

Neither DH (different culture) nor I have any love of football, but it's a reality that it is a major part of male UK culture (and growing rapidly amongst girls) and a lack of interest or skill in the game can be very restrictive socially.

Both of mine have been to some classes/ training. DS1 for a couple of years until he lost interest. DS2 for longer. They've never been deeply immersed in football culture and they tend to favour other boys with a light or little interest in the games, but the big thing is that we haven't imposed our indifference on them and they've had chance to play and learn about the game. DS2 has had a couple of shirts for the local team which he nominally supports (or at least generally favours)

Football isn't the problem. There is an issue with some people who utilise football as a proxy for dealing with their unhealthy emotional development and connections. It's possible to play/ enjoy the game without being a violent thug. Not all Sunday league teams are cesspits of foul-mouthed hyper-competitive attitudes. There's a lot of teams and tution with healthy attitudes.

It's certainly possible to be a well-developed male with no interest in football, but that needs to be a personal choice, not imposed by parents. He's unreasonable to think he can prohibit an interest in a culturally dominant sport which is a major part of socialising through the primary school years.

pull the "I'm personally offended" card when you don't have an actual rebuttal..

Did I at any point say not liking football was analogous to racism? Or discriminating against someone who likes football is the same as discriminating against someone because of their ethnicity? No.

The examples were varied to explain that there is NO circumstance when "I don't like something so you're not allowed to like it either" is a valid argument. I could have used literally anything else, from being bitten by a dog to someone of a different religion.

you don't think stopping your child from playing/watching a sport because a small minority of other people who also like that sport sometimes behave badly is illogical?

I don't get what you mean by decisions made by adults, either? in all of those examples, the same as OP's actual issue, the DH is an adult making a unilateral decision on behalf of his child...

A boundary a parent has the right to decide for a child is something that will keep them safe. Not "I don't like something so you're not allowed to like it either."

OP has discussed it with him and there is no flex. There's absolutely no suggestion she'll be going "behind his back" i.e. taking the DS to practice pretending she's taking him somewhere else. You're objecting to something that hasn't been said. She is saying she will take him, with the DH fully knowing but not being happy about it, because why does the DH get to have unilateral veto over their parenting decisions?

I think it will put a lot of strain on the family dynamics.

You’ll be solely responsible for taking son to games at the weekend and midweek training sessions - this could lead to resentment.

DH will be resentful you brought football into the home and all the time it takes away from family time at the weekends.

DS will get upset that his dad doesn’t ever watch his games, play football in the garden or want to hear about the goals he’s scored.

It sounds as if DH is slightly traumatised from his family’s links to football and DS playing will open that wound. He may need therapy, if he’s open to it, to deal with those feelings and understand his experience is extreme.

This is quite a stretch, a small child playing football for fun is bot a gateway into any of these things and a whole lot of these perceptions about the sport and its fans are pretty outdated. Would the OPs husband have the same rules if it was a DD wanting to play since none of these things are true about fans of women’s football. Let the kid try a sport, he might not even like it! It is just very narrow minded to ban him from ever playing something because of fan behavior at the professional level! The idea that the whole sport has this negative culture is just ridiculous

I agree with your husband

I can see his point. I didn't grow up in that atmosphere but have similar views about the obsession and violence around football.

I don't think I'd actively want to do anything which could push my child into it and result in them being one of those type of people growing up.

But it's hard because you want to put your child's needs first. Could a compromise be that you play a little bit of kicking around at home so DC gets some of the experience but in a more controlled way.