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Original poster

Sister refuses to pay me back for money I loaned

168 replies

Anon777 · 17/12/2024 15:25

My sister borrowed £2.5k money from me on the premise she would pay it back.

Refuses to pay it back and keeps saying she is broke. She lives with parents with her own flat on rent and has a full-time job. My parents think I am wrong for even asking.

What can I do???

OP posts:
ChristmasinBrighton · 17/12/2024 16:37

@Anon777 have you ever looked at the thread on the Relationship board called variations of “But we took you to Stately Homes”?

Lots of us who have experienced very similar things to you and support is available.

You need to go completely NC with the lot of them. Block them on everything and live your life in peace. 💐

rainingsnoring · 17/12/2024 16:34

100% YANBU @Anon777
I am so sorry that your parents and sister are such appalling people.
Breaking ties would help you.

Original poster
Anon777 · 17/12/2024 16:33

Member984815 · 17/12/2024 16:32

I'm afraid you might have to write this off, is there any chance you can get her to pay in installments? If not I'd never be speaking to her again .

Show quote history

She won't pay. She's backed fully by my parents. My parents have just always had it in for me.

I believe in karma. I hope they all get what they dese

OP posts:
Member984815 · 17/12/2024 16:32

Anon777 · 17/12/2024 16:28

Nothing.
My mum told me she would pay me back.
My mum is awful too. Always says how poor she is.

Edited
Show quote history

I'm afraid you might have to write this off, is there any chance you can get her to pay in installments? If not I'd never be speaking to her again .

Mrsttcno1 · 17/12/2024 16:32

With nothing in writing you can’t go to small claims court so given everything you’ve said honestly go no contact and leave this all behind you. I’m sorry OP

MandyFriend · 17/12/2024 16:31

Your parents need to pay you the money and then she can owe them!

Original poster
Anon777 · 17/12/2024 16:31

Manara · 17/12/2024 16:28

Go NC with her. I hope you haven't bought her Xmas presents?

Not bought nothing in a while.
She doesn't talk to me anymore and called me stingy.
Starts picking her nose and playing victim if I mention the money. My husband is on a decent salary so her and my parents always say but you don't need the money. We can't afford a place to buy but they are just so toxic and twisted.

I look back at all the trauma in my childhood. All the physical abuse. No amount of counselling can help. I hate my family.

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 17/12/2024 16:31

Given that your parents seemingly treat you like shit too, I'd distance myself from the lot of them to be honest.

AllTangledUpInTinselAndTiaras · 17/12/2024 16:30

Honestly?

I'd advise letting it go.

For your own sake, accept that you will never, ever get it back.

Never lend her a penny again.

And I'd also distance yourself from them. Again, for your own sake. They're dragging you down and you only have one life to live.

Original poster
Anon777 · 17/12/2024 16:28

pizzaHeart · 17/12/2024 16:26

So do you have a written agreement or something in writing from her?

Nothing.
My mum told me she would pay me back.
My mum is awful too. Always says how poor she is.

OP posts:
Manara · 17/12/2024 16:28

Go NC with her. I hope you haven't bought her Xmas presents?

mumda · 17/12/2024 16:27

Ja428 · 17/12/2024 15:30

Why do your parents say you're wrong?

If they don't think she should pay her debt to you, then ask them to pay it to you on her behalf and she can owe it to them.

Why are people such thieving cunts?

Because they are thieving twaty cunts.

Jabtastic · 17/12/2024 16:27

With all the information you have given I would honestly say goodbye to them and take her to the small claims court. They sound horrible and I hope you are okay.

pizzaHeart · 17/12/2024 16:26

So do you have a written agreement or something in writing from her?

Original poster
Anon777 · 17/12/2024 16:25

FizzyBisto · 17/12/2024 16:24

How much does she pay in rent to your parents?

I think I can probably guess.......

My parents pay for her everything.
Food, clothes, shoes etc.

OP posts:
FizzyBisto · 17/12/2024 16:24

How much does she pay in rent to your parents?

I think I can probably guess.......

EdithStourton · 17/12/2024 16:23

I know it's too late for you, OP, but we have learned the hard way to never ever lend money to family. You will find it hard to prove that it was a loan unless you have some sort of paper or digital trail, and people, including people you think you can trust, will take the piss.

It happened to us. I'll never look at that relative the same way again.

Alalalala · 17/12/2024 16:22

Why did you agree to lend it to her? Was it in the hopes of improving your relationship? It all sounds so toxic OP, I’m sorry.

If there no proof of a loan then sadly you’ll have to write it off as a lesson learnt. If you do have any texts or emails about it then go through small claims.

Cornflakelover · 17/12/2024 16:22

If she owns a flat the last thing she will want is a ccj as it will affect her remortgaging

so make it clear you are willing to go the whole way

TeenLifeMum · 17/12/2024 16:19

Anon777 · 17/12/2024 15:52

3 years ago.
She went on holiday to Canada and other international trips.

Show quote history

Oh fuck that shit! From 1 February she can pay £50 a month minimum. Maybe ask for £100 initially.

Original poster
Anon777 · 17/12/2024 16:17

JudgeJ · 17/12/2024 16:13

Innocently enquire about who handles the tax she pays on the rental of her flat, maybe she doesn't and will get worried.

She gets over £1.5k for it. No mortgage as flat paid for by parent's obviously

OP posts:
EuclidianGeometryFan · 17/12/2024 16:15

You can either fight this all the way to the small claims court (if you have evidence) and then suffer the fall-out and abuse from them.

Or you can cut them off now - go no contact with them.

It depends how much you really need the money back and how much energy you have to bother fighting it.

The end result is the same - your family (DS and parents) are now effectively dead to you. You need to live the rest of your life without them in it.
You may need time to grieve and come to terms with this.

Don't carry on hurting yourself by hoping they will change.

JudgeJ · 17/12/2024 16:13

Innocently enquire about who handles the tax she pays on the rental of her flat, maybe she doesn't and will get worried.

Eyesopenwideawake · 17/12/2024 16:12

Up the limited distance to full no contact, you can resign from the role of whipping boy as a Christmas present to yourself. And either write off the money or go the small claims route; there's no middle road.

Original poster
Anon777 · 17/12/2024 16:09

TwistedWonder · 17/12/2024 16:06

So your sisterhood a thief and your parents are happy for her to steal from you?

Can only echo what everyone has said, small claims court

She's always been the golden child.
It's been a tough relationship for me with my parents.
I've been through counselling and limited distance but they genuinely think they are right.
They have never wanted me to be happy or successful in life.
It was an abusive childhood for me but her being the golden child was given everything. Even in adulthood my parents pay for her hobbies that are over £100 an hour.
My parents have always hated me. Not sure why. Always calling me stupid.

I've learnt my lesson.

OP posts:
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