Sister refuses to pay me back for money I loaned

@Anon777 what do you think about the solutions people have been giving you?

https://www.moneyclaim.gov.uk/web/mcol/welcome

Wow, they can't even come up with anything approaching a convincing lie?

She 'needs' it?! What does she even do with her £3K+ monthly income, from which she has nothing at all that she has to pay for?

The only small comfort to you, I suppose, is that, having been used to no housing costs or bills for all of these years, nor any living/food/hobby costs, and (presumably) squandering her income on luxuries and fripperies, when she eventually does inherit the house, the sudden costs and necessary admin of having to run it will hit her so hard. Even though she'll be far from it in reality, she will feel like she's been plunged into huge poverty and will probably never recover.

Do you know any solicitor friends that may be able to write a formal looking letter regarding the debt? Might scare them into at least offering something back

Everyone learns this lesson, consider it yours. Never ever ever ever ever lend anyone money. You can give people money but never lend it. It can turn the most reliable of people into bitter thieves who think you’re the bad guy for wanting your money back. Never do it.

@Anon777 @Hyperbowl in your ‘letter before action’ you could indeed add that you believe your sister has the means to repay you because she lives with your parents and receives monthly rent from a mortgage free property. Lodging the information in an official document would hopefully help them see sense.

You need to ask a solicitor for a free consultation. Ask them if the dad and sis backing up the mother's accusations against your DH will stand up. If it won't do the try the small claims route if you really need the money.

Then you really need to consider what do these people add to your life. Are there any positives at all. You've said they already want to you to "cut them off", that they've told you they are leaving everything to your SIS and that they continue to treat you badly and won't open the door to you. So if you have a solicitor's advice that their threats to implicate your DH in abuse will not hold up - you have nothing to lose by taking them to small claims and then doing what they want which is cutting them off.

Sorry you won't get that money back. I'm also so sorry about your family. They won't change and it isn't your fault. I would go no contact. Are your in-laws nice?

OP- sorry haven't been through the whole thread, but wondering why have you given her such a large amount of money in the first place? Considering your relationship worh all of them and the low contact.

Be very careful about threatening to report to HMRC, it could be construed as blackmail. Just do it!!

You’re unlikely to ever see that money but as others have said, threaten to report them to HMRC. I would bet my life they’d shit theirselves too because they haven’t declared it and tax evasion is a serious crime and lack of proper landlord insurance etc to boot. Your mum can say it was your husband who gave her those bruises all she likes, without actual proof it was him and having your narcissistic family as “witnesses” won’t stick in court. Stand up for yourself and stop blindly believing the lies they tell you.

Edit: Just to clear up any confusion I’m not saying to threaten them so that they will give you your money back. Just tell them that you’re going to do it in order to make them suffer a tiny percentage of what they’ve made you suffer.

IMO this is the best advice on the thread.

They should be held to account. You deserve your money. They don't deserve you in their lives.

It's not unanimous to write the money off though.

Plenty of people, me included, think OP should try and recover the money through small claims and then cut them off.

@Anon777 Please look at the guidance I have just posted.

You're up to 5 pages of pretty much unanimous advice to write off the money and cut them out of your life.

What do you think to that idea?

Take her to the small claims court and cut the lot of them off. They are bringing you nothing but misery.

Surely the transaction in your bank account would be evidence of your making a payment? Though she might try to argue that you were paying her for something? Worth finding out at least.

Dont write it off OP, get your pound of flesh!!

@Anon777 - there is good news, the cost of registering your claim in the small claims court is £115. The forms are designed for you to do yourself without a solicitor so that’s your only cost. Each side pays their own legal costs so they would pay their own. First you must send a ‘letter before action’ warning that proceedings will start if you are not repaid within 28 days. You can find examples online but you only really need to state the facts and provide proof. So saying you lent the money proving you paid it to them and then saying they’ve refused to pay it back. Any background information that supports the circumstances even if this is your recollection of conversations. You have to say what you want from the other party so immediate repayment of the sum lent. You can’t prove it was a loan they can’t prove it was a gift. The judge will make a decision based on the information presented. The case is on the public record. The worst outcome for you is paying £115 and not recovering the money but their behaviour will be noted and that might give you some closure. Please do this.

Write it off, cut them off. Take it as an expensive lesson: have nothing to do with any of them ever again!

Cut all these people out of your life. Block them all. Never speak to or think about them again.
The best revenge is a life well lived.
Leave them to it.
You shouldn't have leant her that money because she's a piece of shit who has no morals and won't pay it back. You've learned a lesson. They aren't your family. Cut them out and focus on the future and positive things you have in your life.
You say that's what they want.. but it isn't. They probably get quite a lot out of painting you as the black sheep and her as the golden child. Don't allow them to do this. Completely disengage and never give them so much as the time of day again. They are not only stealing your money but your emotional energy.
Surround yourself with decent positive people who care about you from now on.
There's no way to get what you want emotionally or financially from this toxic abusive family. The best you can do is work on forgetting they even exist.