Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL and the Christmas stocking

185 replies

Lumpofcoal · 17/12/2024 13:11

Major first world problems here.

DD is 4 and is very excited about Christmas. She has a Christmas stocking, and can just about read her name written on it. She’s going to hang it up on the fireplace on Christmas Eve and firmly believes the big man in red is going to fill it with presents. (They’re just little things - she does get a bigger present but it’s from us). She also has a new little brother - he also now has a stocking with his name on it and is going to be getting a few presents just to keep up appearances (they are coincidentally things that I might find useful). DD is very excited for him too.

Out of the blue, MIL has also bought DD a personalised stocking and filled it with presents. She will be at ours for Christmas and wants to see DD open it on Christmas morning. DS hasn’t got one. DH says there is no way she can be dissuaded from her plan without causing significant hurt and offence.

MIL is fundamentally nice - she’s being generous and just wants to do the whole Father Christmas thing again. I don’t actually want to ruin Christmas for her. But what is the best way to manage this with DD? It’s more than I would actually like her to get but I can’t see a way out of MIL giving it to her. Should it be from MIL? Or Father Christmas? And why hasn’t her brother got one? What’s the best explanation for her? And am I stuck with this every year now?!

OP posts:
Jellycats4life · 17/12/2024 13:21

Keep an eye on MIL and favouritism.

My MIL used to buy a toy for DD (the first golden grandchild) basically every time she saw her. When DS came along he didn’t get anything because he was just a baby.

Well, fast forward ten years and DD still gets random little gifts and DS still frequently gets nothing. It pisses me off.

CoralRubyFish · 17/12/2024 13:18

I'm confused about the issue here? Kids like presents. I don't think she's really going to analyse where they are coming from

ChuckMater · 17/12/2024 13:18

It's from he grandmother. Not from FC. FC fills your stocking, MIL has filled a stocking for your child. Explain this clearly, infront of child and MIL.

Nutsabouttopic · 17/12/2024 13:17

You use your words. No mil that's not happening. DD has her stocking in her home to be opened Christmas morning.

Don't worry about giving offence, mil is not worried about offending you. She's had her time at playing Santa. This is your time. If your dh is worried about offending his mother ask him who he loves with and wants to continue living with. As for leaving your son out...I'm tired of reading about these family members thinking they can dictate in other people's houses. Yes I'm tough on boundaries but I don't get walked on.

GrumpyCactus · 17/12/2024 13:17

So she has one for your daughter but not your son?

He needs to step in and tell her she's had her turn your children have stockings at their own home and that it's bonkers to have brought stuff for just one child and not the other.

Hannaahhhh · 17/12/2024 13:16

I honestly can't see an issue here. I feel like you're overthinking this.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 17/12/2024 13:15

My mum does the same for our kids (and the adults).

We have always just played it that the only stocking that is from FC is the one at our house and that gets filled in the night, and the other is an extra present/thing from Granny and goes under the tress with the other family gifts. They've never queried it.

I would query why the brother didn't though.

Chocbuttonsandredwine · 17/12/2024 13:15

Truthfully although it probably seems like a big thing to think about and plan and stress over now, it doesn’t need to be.

Just roll with it, esp given you say MIL is normally nice.

“oh look FC has left you 2 stockings… how lovely… “ and you move on. In the grand scheme of Xmas and presents and eveything else it’s unlikely DD will notice

Or, you keep your stocking hidden and let DD open a present a day for the 2 weeks after Xmas. We did this one year as DS had so much and literally melted. He’s never questioned it… he’s 17 now 🤣

OrigamiOwls · 17/12/2024 13:14

I think your DH needs to step in, she is his mum. Why on earth has she got one for one child and not the other (I appreciate he's a baby who doesn't have a concept of Christmas yet, but how to you explain that to a 4 year old, she is bound to notice her brother hasn't got one).

B1anche · 17/12/2024 13:14

I would just say "How lovely! DD can have her father Christmas stocking on the fireplace and you can hand her your presents in that stocking when we all exchange gifts."